I broke lots, as my head continually crashed into my keyboard at 0330 - 0500 zulu while listening to nothing but static. Sweet, sweet static…zzzzzzzzzzz
Hate to break a good rant and all, but you do realise that Australia has its own SAS troops dont ya?
I’d show you all the medals I got for my Black Ops work, but, you know, they’re all secret. If I showed anybody, I’d disappear without a trace. Not even supposed to talk about them of course, but I’m sure I can trust, um, all 50,000 of you.
I wish you would talk to your roommate about this now instead of letting her find out for herself how bad this guy is. I dated a string of various losers, and I really wish my friends had come right out and said what they thought instead of dropping cryptic hints that I either didn’t understand or rationalized away.
It would be nice if you could gather the actual facts and present her with them in such a way that she can’t weasel out of seeing the truth.
Either catch him in a bunch of lies and then show her the information that proves he has lied repeatedly, or get him together with an actual military person who can ridicule him to his face. Or just tell her that every single thing out of that blowhard’s mouth gives you further reason to think he’s a lying asswipe.
I wish to God someone had pointed out to me when I was young and naive that my boyfriend who claimed to have been a medical student and a pilot was far too stupid to ever have been either, and a pathological liar, to boot. Actually, somebody finally did, but not until after I wasted two years on the jerk.
This was my first thought upon reading the OP. About three “brags” in, I would have been dying laughing inside, and egging him on on the outside.
These idtiots are SOOOO fun to mess with. Particularly since I can do the fascinated “don’t worry your pretty little head about it” hanging on his every word with baited breath act quite well, AND ask slyly disguised questions which would cause him to weave an ever tangled web.
There comes a point, when the stories just get so ridiculous, that even the densest girl can see the light. Maybe try this if you’re ever forced to deal with this idiot again. Heck, maybe next time he’ll reveal his key, nay LEADING, role in the space race.
grrr…BATED too…(although, now that I think about it, since the main thing is to bait him…hmmm :D)
How dare you question me!, as a matter of fact(?) I am not in any of those pictures as my space missions were so top secret that only the President and I knew anything about them, some other guy’s found out once so the President and I had no choice but to kill them.
Did I mention my other accomplishments?:
Rodeo clown, bronc rider, Fireman, Cop, brain Surgeon, International Playboy, race car driver, test pilot along with the Phd. and all the other stuff, me… I’m 26 years old why do you ask?.
Unclviny (who has an 18" Penis and owns a Liquor store too!, yeah, that,s the ticket)
You knew the President? That’s nothing - I was the President…uh…the secret President, that’s why you never heard about me. See, the country has a secret President that lives in a secret military base in case the country’s attacked. And that was me - they picked me because of my military record. I was in a Special Forces Seal Green Beret Recon Ranger Delta Force Top Gun SAS Webolo CIA Ninja Unit - in fact, I was the only guy in the unit because I was the only one that made it through the training. They expected the training to last five years but I made it through in three days. That was right after I infiltrated the Mafia as an undercover FBI agent and right before I invaded the Soviet Union to overthrow communism. And I was in the NFL but they said I was too good so they wouldn’t let me play. But I still had sex with all the cheerleaders.
Yeah but try telling that to these kid’s today and they won’t believe you.
Unclviny the Astronaut, Cosmonaught, Cosmetologist, aw forget it.
I remember that. I was the one who signed off on it, as the super secret president.
Yeah, well I’m really Secret Emperor of the World. Secret President is just my cover identity. They had to give me a cover identity like the Witness Protection Program because of my undercover work. I worked undercover in the Mafia and the Yakuza and the Hell’s Angels and the Crips and the Columbian Drug Cartel - all at the same time. They all ended up making me their boss and then I arrested them. The government gave me the job because I went undercover in Germany during World War II and killed Hitler. Then when I had to sneak out of Germany, I stopped at Japan on the way home and set off the atom bomb. But they were mad at me because I hadn’t been following orders, so they said Hitler killed himself and a plane dropped the bomb. But then they had to say they were sorry to me when the aliens landed in Roswell and I was the only guy that could fight them. I got a letter from the President saying all this. But I can’t show it to you because it’s classified.
Does this guy end all his sentences with “Yeah, that’s it! That’s the ticket!”?
I did talk to her about him, yesterday. I told her some of his stories don’t add up, about how I felt he wasn’t telling the truth about himself. She shrugged and said she never really listened to anything he had to say. Then she giggled and told me about how jealous he’d gotten the other night when she danced with another man at a club. Gawd, she’s dumb. I love her to death but she’s a nitwit when it comes to men. She doesn’t seem to care if he’s lying to her or not, as long as he acts all big and bad and gets jealous and starts fights over her.
Not good.
I hope you can help her, Mississippienne. But I have my doubts.
… and starts beating on her. 
I hope I’m very wrong, but this sounds potentially very bad. You probably won’t be able to convince her until it’s too late, but I hope you can be there as a friend when she needs it. And as I mentioned before, arrange things to protect yourself.
She likes it that he’s big and jealous and violent? Does she quite understand that one day he will be big and jealous and violent and she will happen to be the only other person in the room?
She likes it when he beats up other men over her, and (and maybe because) she thinks she can turn it on by her behavior towards other men? Then she’s a sadist.
I’m sorely tempted to say she deserves him, but I’m constrained by the ingrained rule that no woman deserves to be abused in any way by any man no matter what. I will say that other women, who do not get off on violence, might deserve him even less.
You’ll lose your friend by calling her judgment and happiness into question. Do it anyway. You’ll need a new roommate in any event, unless you can convince her that her new beau should not be allowed into your home. And even then, you’ll have in your home an object that attracts big violent assholes.
Mississippienne, you need to hang out with better people.
This is an important post. I’m willing to bet your roommate has doubts about this guy herself, and just doesn’t know how to back out of this while saving face. Or maybe she realizes it could get “bad”, but she doesn’t know what “bad” really is yet. If she sticks with this loser, I think she’ll find out.
Ex AF here. I just want to reinforce other servicemen who have said that those folks who have been involved in very dangerous and deadly activities rarely speak of them. It took my Dad about 25 years to tell me about his experiences in WWII. And I have the medals framed now on the wall of the room that I frequent while on the computer.
Those who have real competence usually don’t need to brag; their character and actions speak for them.