"Brain and Brain! What IS brain?!?" or What's your favorite line of BAD dialogue?

From the original Republic serial Flash Gordon:-

Flash and the others are being dragged back to Ming’s palace having briefly escaped, a palace guard greets the captives with the words “I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes, Ming’s feeling particularly merciless today”

(My favourite bad action from the series was Flash discovering a bomb on their rocket-ship as they are flying between Earth and Mars – so he opens a window and throws it out)

“Oh, Postman, you pass out hope like it’s candy in your pocket.”

I cringe just typing this.

This is not my favourite line, but it’s definitly a bit of bad dialog. In The Hunt for Red October Scott Glenn says, “The hardest part about playing chicken is knowing when to flinch.” Okay, the line itself isn’t so bad; it’s the context. It looked like an insert shot, and it was just out of place. I understand the intended context, and I understand why the character would say it; but it was edited in badly.

I liked Always when it came out. I went to the L.A. premiere. The last time I watched it though, it really grated on me. There are so many lines that are poorly delivered, and the direction at times was ham-handed.

Getting back to the spirit of the title: “Freedom? You speak Yang holy word!”

OK, this is a line that’s bad in context. In The Day The Earth Stood Still, (An incredible movie! Well written and acted) two doctors are discussing Klatu’s impressive age despite looking much younger. One doctor asks how it’s possible and the other says something to the effect of, “Their medical science is just so far advanced.” Nothing wrong about that except he delivers the line while offering his buddy a cigarette! Well for starters, Dr. Sparky, maybe Klatu’s people don’t smoke?

Yebbut, smoking was good for you then.

Hey, whaddaya want? It was 1951. Who knew? Everybody smoked. Doctors smoked. In hospitals. My mother quit smoking after she accidentally started a wastebasket fire in her hospital room right after giving birth to my brother. That was 1964.

I’m Space Cowboy from the planet Earth!

I hope I got that right, it deserves to be quoted correctly.

From Dynasty (my girlfriend used to make me watch it with her):

Alexis is trying to convice her daughter (can’t remember her name) that Blake isn’t her father, but that some anonymous ski instructor is:

*Daughter: There was no ski instructor!

Alexis: There were MANY ski instructors!
*
You probably had to be there…

“Some mtherfckers are always tryin’ to ice skate uphill.” - Wesley Snipes, "Blade"
Game. Set. Match.

Stupidest. Line. Evar.

That’s why the line was bad in context.

Hey, that was a good line - and you’ve obviously never tried ice skating uphill. (In case you don’t know already, you don’t skate; you walk on the serrated bits at the front of the blade.)

And nobody’s yet mentioned that line from X-Men. You must all be blocking.

“Know what happens to a toad when it gets hit by lightning”? :slight_smile:

Working Girl had some of my least favorite lines in the history of cinema:

“I have a head for business and a bod for sin.”

(paraphrased, I can’t remember the exact line)
“…or I’ll knock you out of here on your bony ass! But good!”

and the winner:
“I am not a steak. You cannot order me.”

“If you want to make it to that door, you’ve got to get out of this room!”

Fish in a barrel, I know.

I hope I never find out!

From Judge Dread:

Bitch!
That’s JUDGE Bitch to you!

(stuck in village in very rural Korea, only film playing was a bootleg version of this wonderful movie)

“I’ll try spinning…that’s a good trick!”

I’m sure that’s not the exact quote because I refuse to see Episode 1 a second time. It’s quotes like these, though, that really turned me off to the franchise.
All-American boy cruising around the middle of a galactic firefight miraculously dodging laser fire and spouting drivel like this. Ick…

I wanted to hop in a ship myself and blow his hot-dog-eating ass out of the sky.

I thought this thread was for “favorite” lines of bad dialogue? So saying this line was “stupid” isn’t the point, is it?

I only ask b/c when I saw this OP I chose not to bring up that I started the exact same thread three days before this one, and the examples in my OP included both the above line from Blade and the terrible “struck by lightning” line from X-Men. I decided not to bring it up b/c mine asked for terrible lines, not terrible lines that you love.

Now, however, it seems everyone is just posting terrible lines.

Umm, I think his point is that ice rinks, or frozen rivers or lakes, rarely have hills …

you have stolen time itself. you must give it back now - lara croft, tomb raider