I have seen a “Best Movie Lines” thread several times. How about the worst movie lines?
“Show me the money!!” comes to mind, for example.
“This is a UNIX system!”
I did not like it when Data got all macho and said “Lock and load!” in one of the recent Star Trek movies. It kinda ruined it for me.
That one is so sad it needs it’s own thread.
The worst tag line was in Judge Dredd, but I forget how it went. It was on all the drink cups at the time.
In (I think it was) Emmanulle III, Sylvia Kristel says: “Don’t be a fool! There’s no sense in it!”, which I thought was kinda inane.
From Star Wars: The Phantom Menace…
“Sandstorms are very… (looooong pause… take a nap, take a whiz, grab a snack)… very… ('nother long pause, but not quite as long as the first)… dangerous.”
All in all, it takes about fifteen minutes to point out the blatantly obvious. Lucas, you fool!!! Grrrr!!!
I’m cheating by picking a film nobody saw, but “Idle Hands” had a line it in that nearly made my internal organs stop functioning. Let me set this up.
My wife and I watched three minutes of it while waiting to see another movie. You may recall that it was a movie about zombies or some damned thing with Devon Sawa, Seth Green, and the deliverer of the line, Jessica Something. The girl from “Flipper.”
Anyway, the Flipper Girl is the romantic interest (duh!) and we walk in just as she’s tied spread eagle, clad in a bikini, to a car hoist by the bad zombies led by Seth Green. (I told you it was a bad movie.) Devon Sawa deafeats them somehow and rescues her, but the the hoist falls on him. He doesn’t die, though, or maybe he does and he comes back, I don’t know, but anyway we arrive at a scene where he’s lying in a hospital bed with the Flipper Girl sitting next to him, and she drops the bomb:
“You gave up the afterlife to be kickin’ it here with me!”
My runner up would be Kate Winslet’s atrociously delivered, “The water is freezing and there aren’t enough boats. Half the people on this ship are going to die!” Thanks for the booster exposition, Jimbo.
From Starship Troopers: “He SUCKED his BRAINS out!”
And uh, also from Starship Troopers: “Billy? [or whatever that guy’s name was] Billy, is that you? Oh my. It’s getting dark. What’s happening Billy?”
From The Phantom Menace: “I heard Master Yoda talking about midichlorians. And so I was wondering…what are midichlorians.” Cue Troy McClure.
From A Walk in the Clouds: “I love you Victoria.” (Actually, pretty much any line said by Keanu Reeves qualifies. This line is fine, until you hear his flat delivery of it.)
Plan 9 is, of course, loaded with great bad lines. But they’re too damn funny (in almost a respectable way) to include them here among the turkey collection.
I know this isn’t a movie line… but it falls loosely into the catagory of bad lines…
Taco Bell has this slogan on all there posters, cups, etc.
“Eat More It’s Late!”
I know they are open 24-7 but I really don’t think I get it! This really isn’t worth the effort in my humble opinion.
How can you go from the little dog thing and being the commercial guru, envy of all advertisers, to “Eat More It’s Late!”
Help me understand!
Sincerely,
Burrito
Heh…all that wasted verbiage and there’s the perfect TPM review in 4 words. 
The Zombies are the good guys. They’re helping the kid to stop the hoist from squishing her against the ceiling.
At least they were until Zombie-Seth spotted the Uber-Bong.
The hand is the bad guy. The hand tied her to the hoist.
And of course it’s a bad movie…it never tried to be anything else.
The line at the end of Half Baked is about the worst I can think of: “Now, don’t get me wrong, I love weed. I love it. But not as much as I love pussy.”
By the way, if you haven’t seen it, don’t be disparaged about having the ending ruined. It’s totally obvious by at most halfway through the movie. The only surprise is that they could come up with something so terrible. The “We don’t endorse drug use” bit after the credits is also not to be missed.
(For the life of me, I could not remember the name of that godforsaken movie. I found it, and the full quote, by searching IMDB for “pussy”.)
From City Slickers, which I really liked. Billy Crystal is reunited with his family at the airport and he utters the line “It’s my best day!” It was so phony and out of place that I had to roll my eyes and groan.
Han Solo in Star Wars (as if I needed to point out the movie!) says his ship “made the Kessel run in 12 parsecs.” A parsec is a measure of distance, not time.
As for Plan 9, the line I always remember is “Modern Women. They’ve been like that all through the ages.” Too funny to be bad.
There’s a terrific scene in Speed where the passengers on the bus are freaking out and one of them pulls a gun. Reeves tries to talk him down, saying, “Okay, I don’t care about your crime” with full-bore Theodore “Ted” Logan drawl. It was hilarious.
“I hayde her. I hay dot Qvinn.”—Zsa Zsa Gabor, “Queen of Outer Space”
“Go . . . I am wee-wee of you now.”—Marlene Dietrich, “Shanghai Expwess” (in which she plays “Shanghai Wiwwy, the notowious white wose of the Owient”)
“You gotta save Christianity, Richard—you just GOTTA!”—the late Loretta Young, “The Crusades”
From the X-Men, when Storm is about to fry toad…
The whole “Do you know what happens” bit. I can’t even bring myself to type out the whole thing. ::shudder:: :eek:
FYI: The Kessel Run was not a race for time. It was a race for distance. I can’t remember where to find an after-the-fact explanation of it, but I’m sure there are plenty of Dopers who can.
But back to the OP. The worst movie line IMHO was from “Four Weddings and a Funeral.” The final line, when Nancy-Boy said “We’s better go inside. It’s raining.” Andie MacDowell (sp?) said, in a tone that should have gotten her kicked out of the SAG, “Is it? I hadn’t noticed.” Otherwise, a great flick. But leave right before the end. He gets the girl, don’t put yourself through any unnecessary unpleasantness.
I can explain the parsec thing-it meant finding a SHORT CUT, since you have to go near the Maw-a black hole cluster to GET to Kessel. (Yes, I read the novels, dammit!)
Flowers in the Attic-“They hurt you, Mom. I hate them for that.” It’s said so fucking FLAT…ugh!
In Speed, Keanu’s whole routine about “When you have a hair-trigger pointed at your head, what do you do? WHAT DEW YEW DEW!?”. Uh, Kean-o, if you point the trigger at him, you’re going to miss :rolleyes: