Billy Jack
“…I…just…go…ber…ZERK!!!”
Another explanation (from http://us.imdb.com/Goofs?0076759 )
I think the last quote got it. There is nothing in the film to indicate that Solo was talking about anything but time. In the context of the film, as the line was presented, it was a goof.
Definitely without a doubt you are absolutely correct, that is in fact the most poorly delivered and ill-fitting lines in movie history.
A bit off-topic, since it’s not a line from a movie, but The Mummy’s Shroud has one of the worst taglines ever: Beware the beat of the cloth-wrapped feet!
bad kung-fu movies are great places for stuff like this.
Was watching one years ago with my Dad, Saturday afternoons, the new Fox affiliate here had Kung-Fu theater. Hysterical. Anyway, they have the usual fight going, then the villian stops, poses, and tosses off the line “I’m going to kill you now!”
All I could think was “What in the hell have you been trying to do so far?” It was funny to me, at least.
Perhaps Han was simply pulling a fast one on what he considered to be two country bumpkins. They ask him if it’s a fast ship, he figures they don’t know anything about anything, so he says the Star Wars equivilent of telling someone to check their blinker fluid. From the look on Obi Wan’s face, he gets the joke; Luke looks clueless.
(Which makes sense.)
One long-running SNL-type show in the Seattle area had a running skit about a badly-dubbed Kung Fu master named Billy Kwan (“Remember kids, be like Billy”). In every skit the pivotal line was, “You have offended my ancestors! Now you must die!” He’d end up flinging himself feet-first through the air on a long, meandering, physics-defying trajectory to nail the fleeing badguy.
Sad (or funny) thing was, it was a lot less ridiculous than many real Kung Fu movies.
Obviously, the Kessel Run is becoming its own thread. Let me toss my two cents in…Lucasfilm has basically accepted several of the novels and all of the role-playing games as “cannon” for the “facts” of the SW universe. They all stick to the Kessel Run being measured by distance - the idea being that the faster the ship is, the closer it can skirt the black holes surrounding Kessel, and the shorter the trip is. So making the Kessel Run in under five parsecs meant that Han got a good, fast run in and cut his distance doing it.
Besides, she’ll make .5 past lightspeed.
She’s the fastest hunk of junk in the Galaxy.
Take the Falcon. She’s the fastest ship in the fleet…
Need I go on?
As for stupid movie lines, this one comes from one of my favorite movies: Hudson, on the Drop Ship in Aliens - “We’re on the express elevator to hell, goin’ DOWN!!!”
Egad, that line is STUPID.
I have to go with the part in Titanic where Kate Winslet tells Decaprio’s dead body that she will never let him go… and then promptly does.
Yeah, it’s stupid when posted to a message board. But it’s entirely in-character for an egotistical, shallow blowhard like Hudson. 'Sides, it’s not like Hudson was the sharpest crayon in the box.
Here’s looking at you, kid.
She doesn’t mean that she’ll not let him go physically. I did get a chuckle from it right away, but that’s not what she means.
Jman
Hear hear. That line made me cringe both times I saw the flick and I still shudder just thinking about how utterly lame it was.
You get the impression Storm is about to lash out with some devastatingly hip and/or ironic comment, but she peters out with “The same thing that happens to everything else” (or similar… I’ve tried to block it from my brane).
gah!
The line would have worked IF TOAD HAD BLOWN UP. It’s a dismissive line; you’re nothing to me, pal, because I can French-fry a cruise liner and not even break a sweat, and I’ve spent my whole life with this ability/curse.
If she’d said “The same thing that happens to everything else” and then Toad had been hit by lightning and had disintegrated into a million carbonized Toad-bits, it would have made more sense, and the line would work. You’d think; whoa, this is one ass-kicking mutant bitch, she just turned that guy to kibble and she doesn’t even care. Instead he went flying off into the sea (an awful visual effect, to boot) without obviouzsly dying so they can use him again in the sequel.
John Wayne in “The Greatest Story Ever Told” :“Truly he was the son of gawd” about you know who.
Keith
Most blatant example of ‘product placement’ I ever saw, in The Peacemaker:
George Clooney and Nicole Kidman are in their hotel room in Eastern Europe, after having infiltrated the bad guys headquarters looking for information. Her laptop suddenly says, “You’ve got mail!” and Nicole says, “I e-mailed the files to my AOL account.”
Yup, all the secret agents use AOL.
No offense, but you guys really need to get out more!
"My name’s Anakin, and I’m a person!"
This kid is bucking for Keanu’s job.
Just an FYI: That kid got the role of Ender Wiggin in the upcoming big-screen production of “Ender’s Game.” Orson Scott Card held off until he was assured Hollywood wouldn’t [his phrase] “Culkinize” the movie.