It may not be possible to add new books, but what about replacing text in existing books? In this way, Genesis could be simply revised to tell a story in which God created a universe using an evolutionary process. For humor, Samson would be replaced with Andrew Dice Clay, etc. Just, you know, don’t tell anybody. If anybody objects, just say yours is the original version, the others are clever fakes. Can they prove you wrong? Perhaps, but if so you simply avoid them and keep pushing your version.
Extending this further, you could write a Holy Bible, 2nd Ed. updated with all new stories!
To give it that traditional patriarchal flavor, hire Comedy Central’s Man Show writers as consultants. The Song of Solomon would be replaced by a “Girls on Trampolines” photo layout, and instead of holy wars, you’d have discussions of key sports playoff games featuring heros saying “I jez’ thang Jesus fer dis ween.” As for the undefeated Moses, can we say Dynasty?!
I wonder, if you had a bible with a completely fake chapter, how many people you could fool, even some ministers. It could have a book called Thaddeus between Micah and Nahum. Then you could quote whatever it says and show it right in the book! Or just give it to them as a gift, then later make references to the wisdom of the book of Thaddeus.
“Hmm,” they say, “It says ‘OJ did it.’”
“Yeah. Eerie, huh?”
Go for it.