I love the Far Side version of that story: hook man telling his kids about the two eeevil teenagers that ripped off his hand :).
No, no, and no. The professor didn’t know his name so he just stuck his exam in the middle of the pile…
Submitted for your perusal:
I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M’s, (sent to me because I forwarded their e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is “MM” in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken - which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there’s no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC. Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said “Call 911!” but he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened e-mail entitled “Join the crew!” He knew it wasn’t a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It’s true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy’s expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped around a note that said, “Welcome to the world of AIDS.” Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital - the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x’s and o’s in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but for 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation. Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will receive 4 green m&ms, but if you don’t the owner of Proctor and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you will get cancer from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your wife will develop breast cancer from using the antiperspirant which clogs the pores under your arms, and the government will put a tax on your e-mails forever. I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.
i don’t see why people are still sending urban legends out, with that tax on e-mail and anthrax nobody is reading their e-mail anymore 
I heard that some people get their urban legands by cutting and pasting directly from snope.com, and then sending them out on a spam list.
Cite?
- ::: d & r ::: *
Sure, my brothers, friends, third cousin told me.
I don’t get the joke.
tomndebb
Yeah, the site/cite is snopes.com I get my misinformation there, and simply cut and paste and it saves typing and creativity. As for who I heard it from, well, I heard it from a friend’s cousin whose spouse’s father-in-law in the Netherlands had heard of a coldfire while having a beer with his uncle listening to a solo tubaist play the story in code in fifth notes.
Okay wait, so did he mix the Pop-Rocks and Coke before or after he ate them?
The first time I heard that one about mixing Pop-Rocks and Coke, I just had to try it for myself, and let me tell you…
It’s no fun having Pop-Rocks stuck in your nose.
I exploded once when I did the Pop Rocks-and-Coke thing.
So I know it’s for real.
It killed the roach in my tongue, though. So that was a good thing.
I believe you’re referring to the Nigeria scam.
I actually haven’t received one of those “Nigerian government” e-mails yet, amazingly enough.
Psst, POWER_station…that egg on your face will eventually come off. Just consider this a learning experience.
but didn’t we learn something of this little story.
Perhaps something about the American attitude.
No, I just learned with your last post that you are more of a tool that your OP led me to believe
Care to expand on that?
Yes.
POWER_station’s American attitude made him act like an idiot and post the first thing he found in his inbox that insults the U.S. Because he got it from someone with @blah.sjglsk, so it much be true!
The American attitude that you’re a dumbass, or the American attitude that you’re a poor representative of your country? They’re frighteningly similar.
Considering that no American ship ever did any such thing, no. See how that works?
Up until this post I was feeling a little sorry for you with everybody piling on you, POWER_station, but you’re really not helping your case here.
Hey POWER_tool, let us know what country you’re from, so we can learn something about it via bullshit stories we pull out of our asses.
“France? Yeah, I heard they tried to fight the Nazis with guns make out of cheese! Then when they saw their first German tank they surrendered before they even found out about uncombustable nature of a weapon powered by aged brie!”
“Australia? I heard Australia was started as a colony for the mutant offspring that resulted when the British raped farm animals!”
“Don’t even get me started on the British! Their royal family is so inbred that recent genetic testing proved that they are actually not even technically mammals anymore, but some kind of new family of vertebrates never before classified! Prince Charles was hatched out of an egg, like a friggin’ platypus!”