Man, you people are terrible. You were mean to her in the GQ thread. Can’t you just butt out if you don’t have an answer?
She was sensitive to it, but responded fairly well, I thought, and reasoned out her beliefs. Still no cites, nothing to back it up, and just a bunch of smart-assed Dopers.
Now we’re all jumping on her because she used an analogy. Fair enough, it was a *terrible * analogy, but loathsome bitch? More than a bit over the top.
Not only that, but none of you can let it drop. You’re just having too much fun kicking her while she’s down. I remember one other person - and I’m not going to mention her name - whom you all picked on the same way, and you guys drove her to another board.
Do you want to get rid of people? Maybe we should get rid of all the people who want to get rid of other people. What do we need a message board for? Keep your meanness to places where it belongs, and it doesn’t belong in GQ.
One more thing: Left Hand of Dorkness, I am really disappointed that you wouldn’t take the time to read the thread before piling on. You never struck me as a train-wreck contributer.
Was she snarked at unneccesarily? Sure. But this is, and always has been, a community of smartasses. Until Unca Cecil issues an apology to the citizensofBaltimore, a little needling should be perfectly acceptable.
Thank you to all who have the ovaries/balls to speak out against bullying. That is all I’m trying to do.
Here is the original quote that makes me a loathsome bitch: “It felt like a gang rape.” Notice that I did not say “You are gang raping me” or “You are gang rapers” or “there is too much gang raping here”. I was describing my own feelings and as far as I know, this is permitted even in this skewed universe.
I try to leave and then get emailed by members to stay, or receive this lovely courtesy note:
*So you are aware (though you don’t seem to have actually left the SDMB), I’ve just started a pit thread on you. I figure it’s only fair you should know about it. I hope that, in doing so, I haven’t inadvertently raped you.
Excalibre*I no longer know if I should continue my attempt to stand up for respectful treatment of members or to slink out, another one who bites the dust. I know of several members who literally are afraid to post anywhere but in MPSIMS or Cafe Society. Perhaps a forum specifically for those with opinions who don’t want to be ganged up on would be in order.
I’ve tried hard to be reasonable. Please do not draw conclusions until you have seen all the posts and my efforts to play along, concede, modify my view.
I’m disappointed you didn’t take the time to read Left Hand’s post before expressing your disappointment. He didn’t “pile on” - or even say anything about brightpenny’s situation. He expressed the opinion that rape anologies are almost always inappropriate. Seems pretty damn reasonable to me.
Anaamika, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I do not think what I said required that I be fully informed on the thread. I said that the rape metaphor upsets me, and that this is a metaphor to avoid in my opinion. I have no opinion on whether brightpenny is loathsome or bitchy; I just don’t like seeing “rape” used as a metaphor unless it’s a metaphor for something equally odious.
brightpenny, now that you’re here, I would like to reiterate that. You’re certainly allowed to say that it felt like a gang rape, but I think that’s horribly and terribly inaccurate. From my understanding, nobody who’s been gang-raped has ever said, “It felt like an attack on a messageboard.” The two experiences are simply not equivalent.
Furthermore, your parsing of words–pointing out that you didn’t say, “You are all gang rapers”–is inaccurate. When you say that an attack by someone makes you feel as if you’re being raped, the implication is very strong that you’re comparing the person attacking you to a rapist. I suspect that you intended that implication (although you may not have fully thought it through), as a way to strike back at the people striking at you. I believe that is an inappropriate weapon to wield: implying that someone is like a rapist is an extremely vicious thing to do. I won’t comment on whether it’s more vicious than what they did to you in that thread, since I’ve not read it; but it’s far more vicious than anything that’s been said about you in this thread.
If you did not intend this implication, then I’m hoping you’ll take it into consideration in your future communication. Even if you didn’t intend it, it’s an implication that a lot of people will infer from such analogies, and you’ll end up insulting people viciously, intentionally or not, if you use such analogies.
You know, brightpenny, I really think this board isn’t a good match for you. I’m not saying that because I want you to leave. It’s just that you seem to have a sensibility that is - for lack of a better word - far too delicate for the culture of the boards. The SDMB works under the assumption that the users are willing and able to take a certain amount of rough treatment. The responses you got in GQ are pretty much par for the course here. No one in that thread responded to you in a way they would not be willing to accept as answers to their own questions. Evidentally, you don’t care for that, which is fine. But that’s how things are done, here. If you don’t like it, it would make more sense to find a venue that operates in a way you find acceptable, rather than try to change this board until it no longer offends.
Yeah, except it didn’t feel like a gang rape unless you’re fucking insane. Did it make you suicidal? Are you going to need years of intensive therapy just to be able to sleep at night? Are you worried about STDs or unwanted pregnancy because some people mocked you on a message board? No? Then maybe you see why you were called on your drama queen bullshit “analogy”.
Brightpenny, come off it. It’s an Internet message board! If you don’t have the emotional will to deflect a bit of ribbing on the Internet, how can you possibly fare in everyday real life?
I swear, I’d love to know how some people in our society would make it if nuclear war reduced us to eating cockroaches in our subterranean abodes. I honestly think people like brightpenny would either starve or self-implode.
Who? Have they emailed you personally?
How do you propose this be done? Who defines what being “ganged-up on” is? You want the Internet equivalent of a stress card?
Many moons ago, my son tried to pass off some ridiculous statement as ‘opinion’ on the basis that because it is his personal opinion, he couldn’t be called on it.
I told him that you could say “in my opinion, the sky is red” or “in my opinion, broccoli tastes like chocolate”. Just because you phrase something as your ‘opinion’ neither makes it correct nor beyond reproach. If you make stupid statements, ‘opinion’ is not a defense.
Replace ‘feelings’ above. I suggest a career where you don’t have to interact with people, as the GQ thread was tame.
brightpenny, if you didn’t know, the board is based off of a column, The Straight Dope by Cecil Adams. In this column, Cecil Adams answers questions like those in the GQ forum, and often is sarcastic and snarky.
The users here emulate that, for good or bad. I personally feel some people are snarky when there’s no need, but I’m probably guilty of that sometimes too.
In any case, it was pretty mild in your thread, and I’m among those who feel you grossly over-reacted. Perhaps if you keep in mind the source, and learn to not be so personally effected by this stuff, you might enjoy the board.
I recommend taking a break from the board, and then coming back with the knowledge that people are going to be smartasses, and try to roll with it. If it works out, that’s cool, if you find it’s too annoying, then screw it, life’s too short to be annoyed.
And for those of you without a program, this related thread is about the behavior in the original GQ thread. Because this current thread is about the followup ATMB thread. Which was about the original GQ thread.
I think you should also title your first single, “(I was attacked on a message board;) It felt like a gang rape”.
brightpenny, if you think THAT was an attack, I don’t think you should stick around here. Actually, you should probably cancel your internet service, and stick yourself in a little bubble the rest of your life, if people making tongue in cheek remarks makes you feel like you were fucking gang-raped. Jesus Christ, woman, get a thicker skin.
