Building a metaphor (travel related)

In My Humble Opinion
1

Like many of us reading these boards, I’ve been a few places and done some things. I’ve been blessed to have the opportunity, resources, and freedom to move and shake. I think as a younger person I was learning alternate and valuable perspectives, building my knowledge + honing my character, and appreciating adversity as it presented itself. But as an old dude, I feel my traveling (or e.g. skydiving) is really just checking stuff off of a list. Pyramids; check. Cadillac ranch; check. Fish pedicure; check.

At this point in my life, am I really adding anything to my character? I do value a novel perspective, but I’ll admit that I am not appreciating adversity as much as I once did.

And I think, I just don’t wanna go through the trouble. I don’t see any real benefit or overall gain. The metaphor I want to use is “…there’s nowhere to redeem those coupons”.

I look past these experiences, and I imagine the doctor that’s nursing me through my dying illness isn’t going to require stories of my thrill and drowse in foreign lands. And I doubt Jesus is going to read my balance sheet and grant me preferred status b/c Bob Weir spit on me.

Question: How silly is “there’s nowhere to redeem those coupons?” What would you suggest as words to fit the cinnamon I’m attempting to explain?

*Places and events depicted in this post may or may not have occurred. They are presented for illustrative purposes only.

2

I understand your question, but might try a different perspective. Some people may just be checking items off a list, but that’s not the only reason people travel. The question is whether people are getting value from their adventures above and beyond the Instagram image. The metaphor of collecting coupons may not resonate with all travelers.

This past weekend my wife and I went to Paris, and visited the Louvre. We got the required photo with the Mona Lisa without any appreciation for the artwork itself. Frankly, it was purely performative travel. But elsewhere in the Louvre we encountered some truly breathtaking works of art, and historical artifacts that really moved us that won’t translate to others.

I’m not sure if redeeming a coupon works as a metaphor. I think of it more as collecting baseball cards; they have no intrinsic value but require a buyer for them to have worth. Who’s the buyer for your experiences? A common theme now is travel and experiences being driven by social media for likes, but those likes only serve to ephemerally boost one’s ego. Do they have any intrinsic worth? Maybe collecting rewards in a video game?

3

I mean, why get married? Sooner or later, one of you will die. Or get educated, since you’ll probably stop working. Or read a book. It’s just the same set of words. Maybe think of travel less as a thing and more as a process?

I say this because I experience travel differently than your metaphor and description suggest, so I can only be helpful by suggesting that you change your broader imagery about travel.

4

I guess I’d ask if you’ve got strong social support right now because when people travel a lot they can lose touch with important people in their lives, which may affect happiness. I’ve been on the opposite side of this, where my family is getting ditched for travel. My father in law became obsessed with travel after retirement but he spends most of his time traveling with people he doesn’t know. All of his relationships are superficial. I’m not blaming travel completely because he’s always been like that to a certain extent. But it seems to have exacerbated the issue, and he’s struggled with loneliness.

I’m not suggesting you give up travel but maybe think about what might make it more socially rewarding. Because I think on our deathbeds what we’ll be thinking of is the people who mattered most to us.

5

I recently heard someone offer the following advice…

“Don’t spend your money on things, spend it on experiences.”

I suppose travel falls squarely in the category of experiences.

But more and more the negatives of travel rob pleasure from the experience. As Travel Man, Richard Ayoade, put it so well, “We’re here. But should we have come?”

6

Everything about your character and your experiences disappear when you die. So if you focus on that, 100% of life is a pointless useless temporary gesture.

So don’t think that way.

I can sit around the house or I can do what I did this morning: snorkel in the Galapagos. I know which I prefer on its own merits. Any long term benefit is both speculative, and just gravy.

7

Thank you to everyone for the insight. In retrospect, I should have explained that this question about the metaphor was posed for personal use only. I could have added that I don’t disparage travel, understanding the rewards and excitement that it brings. And, to each his own pleasure (of course), but I’m a guy who would rather be at my home in sleepy North Carolina than the Galapagos. That’s a well-thought-out conclusion I’ve come to, with many (rhetorical) points of discussion. It’s not intended to be a snarky response. But I think I get what you’re saying is that the experience is valuable as it’s happening, moreso than the memory of the experience.

I really was looking for metaphors. My wife wants to [continue to] international travel, and I think to myself about collecting and (not) redeeming the coupons. To her, I’d more likely mention, “Didn’t your son want to go to Croatia?”

@Telemark’s response hit close to home with the mention about their photo in the Louvre. I feel sometimes, that’s what it’s become. I wonder if Rick Steves could have given me an entertaining tour of the rare and beautiful holdings of the museum by me simply popping in a fresh DVD or blu-ray (aging Rick Steves here… not me). The pitch about baseball cards was a new perspective. My initial thought was someone’s just going to toss out my baseball card collection when they’re cleaning out my stuff. Much like all the S&H Green stamps I’ve collected from my extensive travels :slightly_smiling_face:. Your examples -in my mind- sort of helped make my point. Maybe that’s what you intended, steered in the direction of a different comparison.

@susan, Yes, I think that’s it. Travels is more of a process. My understanding and experience of reading Thoreau’s Walden will die with me, surely. But instead of thousands of dollars, queues, and uncertainty, I was able to sit on the couch to enjoy it.

@Spice_Weasel, yes, I’ve got strong familial support right now. I’ve the most wonderful wife, loving step-sons, and a sweet grandson, too. I’m delighted to just spend time with them and my dog and my yard and my wild birds and the squirrels and other wildlife. I used to chase the happiness, but now it’s all right here.

I think @QuickSilver may be able to smell what I’ve got cooking on the stove.

I knew that this SDMB conversation would veer in such direction as it has. And I am happy for it. I’ve had some international travel scenarios pitched to me that sold; my head’s not firmly buried in the sand. But this old guy doesn’t think I’m missing out on much. Whereas, when I was 30, I’d have gone anywhere. And I did.

But, objectively, does my metaphor have holes in it?

8

The first problem is I don’t think people use paper coupons in the same way as in the past, or at all anymore. The metaphor requires people to perform some sort of act to get the coupon, but in the past coupons were available to anyone in the newspaper or store circular, so there was no task required.

Your metaphor requires collecting a reward for performing a task (bucket list items) and I think something that conveys that better, like a video game quest/task to receive a coin or token. To go back to my Mona Lisa example, we collected a photograph and a memory. I can post the photo on social media for likes, but is that memory worth much? Probably not.

We also took a photo and had a pastry at the Boulangerie Moderne which was featured in the TV show Emily in Paris and we really enjoyed that experience. The photo was just an added bonus, and will garner fewer likes on social media, but the visit was well worth it because we interacted with the staff, ate wonderful food, and had a nice rest on our way to the airport.

9

I will pass on the metaphor and instead mention Sinbad the Sailor (1947), a Technicolor fantasy starring Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. aping his father’s silent film performances (at times, embarrassingly). After a long voyage, many perils and narrow escapes, Sinbad arrives on an island where a legendary treasure is supposed to be hidden. Alas, he finds Alan Napier (Alfred the Butler on the Batman TV show of the ‘60s) living quite contently alone with no treasure. Napier pontificates that the true treasure is to be found only in the heart, the mind and in the love of others.

Granted, Napier is putting down financial wealth, not travel experiences as per the OP, I would argue his advice transcends the gap (and Hollywood hokiness) because happiness/contentment with life is not properly measured by quantity of experiences, but by their quality. Particularly at time when people feel they are helpless to stop major events they feel will enshittify their future or that of their children, simple pleasures are a reminder that personal happiness is not necessarily dependent on wealth or world events. You only live once, collect ‘em wherever you find ‘em.

10

To answer your question by way of @Telemark’s baseball card analogy, you are the buyer. Or at least you should be buying the cards because they give you joy, not because you’re thinking of them as an investment. The kids I knew who truly enjoyed the card collecting hobby were into baseball and the players and all that; the ones who were collectors tended to be less passionate and honestly could have been collecting coins or stamps for all it actually mattered.

So I’d say that your goal ought to be to collect the cards that you think are cool- if you like Jose Cruz on the 1986 Astros, then buy the card, even if it’s not worth anything. Go where you will enjoy.. or not! You’re not in it to impress anyone else.

And I get it. There are a lot of people who travel in a… not mindful sort of way. They’re the ones who save up for a decade to go to Hawaii, and then end up spending the whole two week trip in Waikiki, with small side trips to other parts of nearby Oahu. They’re the ones who go somewhere and only see the most popular tourist attractions and eat in the touristy places. It’s frustrating to talk to them about travel because the way my wife and I travel doesn’t line up with that mentality. We tend to be more freeform and generally a bit higher effort than a lot of people’s vacations, but with a fair amount of slack for serendipitous adventures. And we tend to pick slightly weirder destinations in the first place, because we tend to avoid, or at least only pay token attention to the really big tourist attractions. Or if we go to them, we go in the off-season (pro tip- go to the Uffizi in Florence in the second week of December. Really short lines.) It’s hard to talk about travel with someone who goes on cruises and/or stays in all-inclusive resorts when you’re the sort of people who see a roadside sign in middle-of-nowhere Idaho and end up touring a nuclear reactor for 2 hours.

11

Curate, don’t collect.