Bush gets ass probe (weak & petty)

The BBQ Pit
1

According to Breaking News on all three cable news channels, President Bush will undergo a colonoscopy at Camp David and transfer power to Cheney during the procedure since he will be under sedation.

Is the news day that slow, guys? I realize that this will draw attention to a medical procedure that can be valuable in detecting cancer, and it does involve presidential authority being transferred to “Uncle Dick” while we’re at war. But, come on. Oh, now Jeffrey Toobin is on, showing off his legal knowledge, since we already had the medicos on. Toobin, I haven’t trusted anything you’ve said on air since you were “certain” the OJ jury was going to find him guilty. Maybe you you need a colonoscopy, you keep talking out of your ass.

Fitting bit of justice? God showing he has a sense of humor? Maybe while performing the procedure, they’ll find Bush’s head. Since after his comments on the pledge decision, he’s obviously got his head up his ass.

I wonder if Cheney will pardon Martha Stewart and all the bigwigs at Enron, Worldcom, etc., who have been cooking the books (and donating to the RNC) while he has this once-in-a-lifetime chance. “The president is incapacitated, the economy is struggling, we’re at war, terrorist infiltrators are lurking within our borders. I must pardon these bastions of the American free enterprise system for the good of the nation.”

Let’s see if that dingleberry Bill O’Reilly starts to claim it’s unpatriotic to make jokes about this at the president’s expense.

Told you this was weak.

2

Well, when you spend that much time with your head up your ass, it’s only prudent to get a yearly colonoscopy.

3

Eve, you beat me to it.

4

:smiley:

5

I hope they strike oil … Now THERE’s a conflict of interest for the ages.

6

Wouldn’t he be his own colonoscopy, in that case?

7

Why stop at a camera? I can think of lots of things that should be shoved up Dubya’s ass. Like one of the famous barbed wire buttplugs I fashion for fuckwits like that. :smiley:

And yes, I’ve had a colonoscopy, when I had some nasty surgery on my ass two and a half years ago. Luckily I was completely under. And BTW, the reason I needed surgery there was NOT SEX-RELATED :rolleyes:

  • s.e.
8

I should add, when I was under and had a colonoscopy, I transferred my power to my (then) pet guinea pig, who proceded to sign a whole bunch of bills that completely screwed up my life. :smiley:

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Never trust a guinea pig any further than you can throw it.

10

Probably trying to get back at you for that felching attempt gone awry.

::D&R::

11

Do I have to explain what felching really is? It has nothing to do with rodent-stuffing!

BTW, guinea pigs aren’t rodents. There’s a little factoid for you. :slight_smile:

Holy Hijack! :smiley:

  • s.e.
12

Having hard him struggle with ‘Palestinians’ so often - I’m almost sure he sometimes says ‘Polystyrians’ - I find myself wondering how he’s phrasing this little nightmare: ‘ColonyScope’…ColonPowellScope’…CoLonoScoppy…

13

I suppose the left has to grab at whatever presents itself to find flaws with President Bush.

God forbid that anyone be screened for a cancer that is easily treatable, if found early, but inspite of that, will kill an estimated 56,000 people this year.

14

I forgot, we’re not allowed to joke about our Leader.

damn, I’ve got to get my address updated on that “humorless Americans” list.

15

Good point Brutus, it’s really been difficult to find fault with the man, what with his near god-like intelligence and oratory skills. This is, in fact, the very first criticism I’ve ever heard about the man.

16

All I can say is what a wimp he is. Hell, I’ve gone a lot of ass probes over the last 30 years and not once did I need to be sedated. I’ve even been promised one tonight and can’t wait! WOOHOO!!! :wink:

17

Jeez, you liberals are vicious bunch. :slight_smile:

18

Maybe it’s because so many men are petrified of having a finger, let alone a camera, up their ass.

Me in the ER.

Doctor: “I’m going to have to do a rectal exam. Just push out.”

Me: “I’m gay. I’ve been through that drill.”

Rectal exam done, no problem.

So get over it. Get your exams. It doesn’t hurt. In fact, some might find it pleasurable.

But NOOOOOO! A finger or other device up the ass, for some men, means being violated.

Get over it. Your health is more important. I wonder how many of those 56,000 people that Brutus cited (without a cite) refused to have a rectal prostate exam or colonoscopy because of some feigned machismo. Stupid.

Women go to their gynecologists and have countless pelvic exams and Pap smears, but I never see any woman complaining about it. But the second a (str8) man has to bend over and let a doctor probe his ass, it’s some kind of big, disgusting deal.

If you want to avert colon or prostate cancer, you have to be examined. Period. It takes a few seconds at best, and it could save your life.

Again: get over it.

  • s.e.
19

I for one, applaud the diligence with which the intelligence community is pursuing its search for the secret hideout of Osama bin Laden. The Evil One must not be allowed to find safe haven anywhere !

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You’ve never heard a woman complain about 'em? Don’t know many women, do you Scott? :wink:

[sub]Not to imply Scott doesn’t actually know many women, but rather to highlight that women hate these exams and bitch about them all the time, though they don’t have the same sort of homophobic irrational dread of them some men seem to have. This disclaimer brought to you by the Department of Over-Explaining[/sub]