The Rapist Connection - Matching vulnerable women with satisfied rapists since 1997! Office Space - The Experience - Ever wondered what it would be like to work in a place like in the movie Office Space? Now you can experience it for yourself, and the first 2 days are free! (Two week minimum, no refunds) Driving with Nolte and Joel - Enjoy a Sunday drive with hollywood celebrity Nick Nolte and singing sensation Billy Joel. (Participant’s survival cannot be guaranteed)
Chernobyl: The Experience! A Pripiyat-themed amusement park. Get a megadose of fun as you see, hear, and feel the excitement of containment failure. Garaunteed to leave you with a warm glow. FYI: reproduce before visiting.
The Fat Injector - This handy device collects all the fat that drips out of your food as you bake and fry it, and injects it right back in when it’s done cooking!
VDZone: get infected with the VD of your choice! Herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, crabs! Ask about our two-for-one special! The least fun you can have with your clothes off!
Stick It 'n Dick It - self-adhesive (velcro to pubes) condoms that can be worn for hours/days/weeks at a time and not fall off. Can also be used when driving long distances and don’t want to stop for restroom breaks. Dishwasher safe!
Stinky Inky - ball point pens with ink that will stink enough to clear a room. Perfect for signing divorce papers, mortgages, checks to relatives. Odor guaranteed to permeate 2500 square feet for 72 hours. Warning: Causes vomiting and seizures within minutes if used in an enclosed room.
UpChucky Wheeze Restaurants - watch as live cows, chickens and pigs are slaughtered at your table, chopped into piecers and then grilled on a George Foreman grill to your liking! Let the kids name the animals first! Fun for all! And everyone gets a souvenir animal eye to take home!
Homelessness for the Home Owner - For a small fee, we will burn down your house, freeze all of your financial assets, and get you fired from your job, soil all your clothes, get you addicted to booze and crack, and convince all your friends and family you are complete trash, all so that you can FINALLY enjoy the life of a homeless person. Months to years of entertainment guaranteed!
There was (is?) a place near Deland, FL, where you make your own breakfast. My inlaws would drive 2 hours to go to this place. There was a griddle built into the table and patrons were supplied with a container of pancake batter and a spatula. We never went - the very idea was inane, but whenever the inlaws would have out-of-town guests, they’d haul them from Jacksonville to Deland.
