Busted: My Daughter Reveals My Family's Rampant Domestic Abuse

Not when I’m the one getting the punches…they hurt! I have tender arms…

My then six or seven year old son did a really loud fart in front of my rather straight-laced parents, so whereas normally I’d give points for volume and artistic merit, I said in a shocked tone of voice “What do you say???” and without a pause he replied “Better out than in, that’s what I always say.”

And his baby brother had a phase of sitting in his highchair solemnly dropping bits of food over the edge, watching them splat on the floor, then looking up and saying “Shit!”

The trouble is that we live in Japan and the only person around them who speaks English is me… So there’s noone else to blame. Sigh.

Wow. I’ve been living on another planet, too. We grew up spotting Bugs, but without hitting. Whoever had the highest count at the end of the outing won. I never even heard of the punching part.

My grown oldest kid now tells me they used to play brutal punch buggy on the school bus when they saw school buses or fire trucks.

We don’t do any hitting, but I swear like a sailor at home. I also use easily misunderstood terms of endearment toward the kids, like calling them “dog-faced monkey boy” or “little dickens.”

We have turned slug bug into an art. PandaMom is my wife and posted some of this, but here is our actual rules…

First, basic slug bug–one hit when you are the first to proclaim sight of said bug by ID the color.

Double slug bug for an old VW microbus

Slug Ug (as in Ugly) expands the game to include any color of Scion mini-vans and the puke green or burnt orange Honda Elements.

You must be in the car with the engine running AND the VW must be moving under its own power (preventing the Bart Simpson beat the crap out of your partner because you see a car carrier with six VWs on it)

BONUSES:

-Hippy bonus–an additional hit for a double slug bug if the van is covered in bumper stickers, there are curtains in the windows or it is being driven by a balding guy with a beard and receeding hairline (surprisingly common in Colorado)

Barbie bonus–a VW bug driven by a young (18-30 approx) blonde with a pony tail (also surprisingly common)

Pre-emptive–AKA “I just want to smack you and get away with it” You declare a slug bg color call it and smack your partner. The next slug bug MUST be that color or the partner gets two (one because you incorrectly ID’d the SB color and one for the calling the correct color).

Our children are the rules committee.

My best was driving in Albuquerque. It was about 2004. I saw a beat up microbus covered in bumperstickers (a double slug bug with a hippie bonus) BUT, it also had an “Impeach Nixon” bumper sticker! PandaMom gave me an extra!!

You guys need to add the pun-Punch Bonus for slug bugs- an extra hit if the license plate has a mention of the word “Bug” in it.
:smiley:

We play Punch Buggy by day, but transition to Padiddle at night.

Same basic game, but rather than looking for Bugs, it’s all about headlights. One headlight out on an oncoming car = “Paddidle!” + punch. If the headlight turns out to belong to a motorcycle instead of a car, whoever received the punch gets to return the hit and add a few extra.

She’s so big! I remember counting down til TLB was cooked!

I think irishfella is grateful that at 3months irishbaby is still oblivious to the grown-up cuddling that takes place in her presence.

Same here…I remember a bunch of us in a car once and we were supposed to shout “Herbie” when we saw a Bug, but that was it. I can’t imagine our father allowing my brother and me to hit one another in the car.

Well, back to the OP, as a teacher, I am used to tales that would curl your hair coming from the kids. Back when I taught preschool, I learned never to ask questions such as “What does your daddy do?” (Answer: chase Mommy around the kitchen table and hit her. :eek:)
And my own middle dearikins told her kindergarten teacher that we were late to school because our cows got out and we had to chase them home…with much detail. Only we didn’t own cows, and we were late because we couldn’t find shoes that matched for all three kids to go to school in. She also told her teachers that I was black. (For the record, I’m white.) And that she was black, too. The only reason for that one we could come up with is that she is the only child who is not a blonde/blue-eyed Nordic type in the household, and we told her she was “dark”. Not “black”. She and I have dark brown eyes and hair. But the teachers were astonished that I was not a black woman. :rolleyes:

Socialist pussies. Here in the good ol’ US of A we punch. And when we play quarters, we drink Finlandia.

no, no,no,no…you’re playing it WRONG!!!

in our family,you have to specify:
a “paDIddle” is a car with only right headlight working.
a “paDOOdle” has only its left headlight working.
and woe be unto the person who gets it backwards…

(duplicate post deleted…sorry)

This is cheating. :mad:

Junkyards and dealerships simply don’t count. Everybody knows this. :rolleyes:

You’re both playing it wrong. It’s perdiddle and you collect kisses by being the first to slap the ceiling of the car and saying perdiddle when spotting the car with the missing light. Kisses may be cashed in with whomever you wish.

My husband likes perdunks best. That’s when you’re the first to spot a car with the interior light on while it’s driving down the road. You cash perdunks in for sex.

Perdiddle and Perdunk are not games for children.

How about turn signals left on for miles?

I considered this once. Then, I immediately dismissed it as crazy talk and went on having fun.

We don’t have anything for that one. You can always just choose something and tell your sweetie that it’s an old tradition and they must play along. :wink:

I was introduced to the ‘Slug Bug’ game by my American husband (I am English) he was horrified that I was not aware of the rules.

Now…it is all out war! :smiley:

As often as that happens around here, we’d never leave the bedroom.

Just sayin. :smiley:

Heh. After our oldest daughter’s first birthday party, where she made an absolute mess out of herself with chocolate cake, I convinced my hubby it was tradition in our family that the father has to clean up the mess after the birthday celebrant gets her/his hands in the cake!:stuck_out_tongue: