But if you act now, you get a second funeral service absolutely free. And an amazing urn (just pay shipping and handling).
ISTR we (dad and I) had one in the late-'70s. We got it for chopping onions. Didn’t work. Kept getting clogged or something. Or else it didn’t cut all the way through. (One ‘As Seen On TV’ kitchen gadget that really worked was the Quick Chopper hand-cranked food processor. No idea who made/promoted it. Still have a couple.)
It actually is a solid appliance, not at all gimmicky, and I used mine about two weeks ago.
Hmmm… what would be the “set it and forget it!” setting for cremation?
A friend of mine in Minnesota had an uncle who owned a Pocket Fisherman. The damned thing broke in two just as he was hauling a humungous fish out of a lake.
Apparently the best thing about them was that you could hang them on your belt.
Designed for smaller fishing? I know Ron Popeil said he kept it with him and when he was curious about a pond or lake, he pulled it out and fished with it. I imagine no one expects it to hold up to large fish.
Dammit, I never got those free Chinese Wind Chimes.
Also…
Or the slogan?
“Just burn it and urn it?”
Don’t forget the discount if they order within the next 24 hours.
I have to say the rotisserie is great. We use it every Thanksgiving for the turkey. Has never failed us. Last year, we tried spatchcocked turkey and it was even better.
And the worst part of it was even if it had worked perfectly, you still needed a knife, because it wasn’t big enough to just toss in a whole onion, you had to quarter it first.
“Mmmm, that’s great bass!”
Ain’t no fun catching fish that small. Can’t really eat 'em, so just throw 'em back into the lake.
I don’t see the point.
I have no idea how small they have to be for that device. Did it ever get improved so you could use it for proper fishing?
As I write this, Ron Popeil just died.
I rarely or never bothered to buy his products*. But I didn’t have to. His Infomercials alone were so entertaining! I tuned in just to see them. He was the consummate showman. Anyone else in with me on this? Hmmm.
*Yeah, I am Gen X. So we did buy the Burgomatic when I was a kid. (In case you don’t know, it only fried on one side. So you had to flip it. What’s the point?) We used to even have it in our attic. But I haven’t seen it in years. Interesting if I did still have it. It’s probably a collector’s item. No?
He was a great salesman. He took over for his Dad, didn’t he?
Anyway, I agree that he really could have been a TV host instead of a TV salesperson. He was very charming.
“Slice meat so thin, your in-laws will never come back!”
Wow. This is so ridiculous that for three decades I’ve thought it was just a throwaway line in the Weird Al song I linked above…
The last time I visited my grandma’s house, I took a picture of her Pocket Fisherman.
It was late 50s or VERY early 60s when the Veg-o-matic entered our home. Daddy probably bought it, thinking of the mountain of french fries, or the pile of diced onions that were now available at our house.
The potato was first. You gotta peel it, you know. And the hunk of potato has to be carved to fit the space. You use two slicing blades, one horizontal, one vertical.
The kitchen counter is too high. You need the full force of your arms pushing down on the top piece, so you can FORCE that hard, raw potato through those blades.
The top piece has little gripper teeth to keep the vegetable from rolling away.
WHAM! The potato gets about halfway through the blades, and the new french fries are kind of in suspended animation while you try to wiggle the top piece so the gripper teeth will let go of the potato!
Okay, no french fries tonight. It would take too long to cut up enough potatoes for the whole family.
Let’s try diced onions!
We need a pretty small onion. The stem end and the root end need to be removed, and it must be peeled.
WHAM!
Some pieces came through! But hey, those outer layers can sometimes be pretty tough, and they won’t go through the blades.
Okay, okay. They always slice a tomato on the commercial.
WHAM!
Euuwww. I guess the tomato is too soft. Oh, hey, be careful, the juice is dripping to the floor!
Let’s try a FIRMER tomato! (Translation: green)
WHAM!
Now that one almost worked. Like the one on TV!
Take the Veg-o-Matic apart, it’s supposed to be easy to clean. What do you mean, it says “do not immerse in water.” It’s all sticky with potato juice, onion juice, and tomato goo.
Just take the blades off the bottom part, and wipe with a soapy cloth.
BOING!
Well, shit, the blade came apart!
Where’s the Goodwill donation bag?
~VOW
Why would you subject some innocent stranger to this?