I thought it had to be a joke at first. There was a commercial selling what appears to be a mounted fish. The fish sways and sings along to a CD that is included. My husband and I wondered, “Does anyone actually buy these things?” It’s not even a good gag gift!
What other stupid, useless products have you guys seen advertised on TV?
I don’t remember what it’s called, but it’s this thing you put on the end of your hose to increase the water pressure for washing your car, windows, etc. From what I’ve seen, it’s just a plastic nozzle that amounts to the same thing as putting your thumb over the end of the hose.
A guy in my office bought that… pretty sad eh?
On a lighter note, A&E had a “top 10 wacky Infomercial gadgets” special on the list were:
The pocket fisherman
Chiapet
The Rotato
The Popiel chop-o-matic
the spray on hair
the flowbee
and many many more… how much would you pay to hear about all these? $29? $39? NO! If you contact A&E right now, you can order a video of that program for only $19.95!
I should not be allowed to watch late night t.v. I want a Rotato! It looks soo cool! And I have actually considered buying a Button-ier. (It re-attaches loose buttons by way of little plastic loops. So convenient!)
I must have gotten this affliction from my father, who is the proud owner of a 6-month old, never used 3-speed mountain bike and, drumroll please… a Popiel Rotisserator! "You just set it…and forget it!
Ugh.
Went fishing a few weeks back and one of the guys on the island had a “Virtual Minnow” ($39.95 at 2 AM) It was a rubber fish. Came in different sizes and colors, but it was still a RUBBER FISH. “Guaranteed to catch…” Came with an instruction video (yes,I HAD to watch it) the video said “retrieve the VM slowly at a depth of 8-10 ft…if that doesn’t work, try retrieving faster at 4-6 ft…etc.” Basically said “keep trying 'till it works” Unbelievable…
The guy on our trip caught a fish on his second cast with the VM, started blowing us amazing amounts of BS about it and then got shut out for the rest of the week 
$39.95 for a bunch of rubber fish? I’m in the wrong racket…
The latest stupid thing is a “device” that “blocks” the electromagnetic waves from your cell phone from eating away at your brain. Looks like (and probably is) a magnetic sticker you put over the speaker grid!! “And if you buy now” you get an “antennae extender”. Looks like an oversized printed circuit design sticker you put between the battery and the phone and it’s just like “having a 15ft antennae”.
This is a good (or rather bad) example of someone playing on the fears of others and making a profit.
BTW, I bought one of those Buttoniers (at the local CVS, not off TV) and it does work on lightweight materials (shirts, for example), but not on anything heavy, like jeans.
And speaking of CVS, that’s a good place to get a lot of those “as seen on TV” items a few months after they’ve shot their collective wads on the tube.
Is it just me, or did it always seem like everyone who got a Flobee haircut in those ads ended up with a mullet?
My current “favorite” is the state quarters map. I guess it’s a good idea… but there are 50 states, and the quarters are only being issued at certain intervals (I forget what the lenght is but it sure isn’t weekly!). By the time all 50 are out, the child to whom you are trying to teach geography and coin collecting will no longer know where the map, or the quarters, are. Or somebody will have spent them on bridge tolls and laundry.
Trumpy, what’s a CVS? If I can find a Buttonier locally, I’m gettin’ one!
I also just remembered that my dad also has a Popiel Pocket Fisherman! Woo-hoo!
One that always got me was that “real life construction equipment for kids” video for $19.95
I just thought that was so funny. I’m sure it seemed like a good idea ::“just look at those kids staring fascinatedly at that bulldozer. I have an idea. What about a whole video of stuff like that to keep kids busy for hours”::
Well a few weeks later it was being sold for $4.99
One of my favorite shops on Fashionable Fifth Avenue is the “As Seen On TV!” store, where they actually sell that crap. It’s lotsa fun to window-shop there, though I wouldn’t be caught dead actually buying anything.
. . . Well, maybe the singing wall fish . . .
Lissa, the thing you’re refering to is called the Boogie Bass IIRC. Pretty funny IMO, and I think it’d make the perfect gag gift for your basic garage dwelling, fishing obsessed, tool crazed, beer drinking dad. But no one else.
My mom is a Home Shopping Club believer and has bought several items, most are just “discounted” off-name brand products that are not embarrassing. She did buy the Topsy Tail which got used 3 times, not bad for a $25 oversized plastic needle. I’ve bought a few of those “As Seen on TV” car care products once they make it to the Auto parts store, I don’t like paying shipping and handling. RainX is some great stuff, and I’ve used some of those “Super Lubes” and I’ve got a car w/ 150,000 miles, so maybe they helped too.
The one exception is the George Foreman Lean Mean Grilling Machine, I can’t remeber if we got it on TV or once it first decended on stores, but its a infomercial that seems to have turned out good. I imagine a hell of alot of dopers have one as well. I still prefer to spark up the real grill though.
That dumb fish sings that S-T-U-P-I-D “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and some other song that goes "Take me to the river. . . ".
How do I know this? Because some guy in my office has one and he pushes the FUCKING on button every 20 minutes!
I’m about to go postal!
Oh, and I have a Ronco dehydrator and I love it!
Are you SURE we don’t work in the same office?? 
Sunshine, CVS is a drugstore, like Rite-Aid or Walgreens.
I got my kids a Topsy-Tail for (I think) about $1.98 at a CVS. Were they really $25 on the infomercial? No way would I have paid that much for what is, yes, an over-sized plastic needle. It worked, though, and made pretty ponytails.
I saw the singing fish thing in a store near me. It would drive me nuts. You guys need to go in the co-worker’s office and replace the batteries with dead ones. Keep doing it and he’ll eventually decide it eats up batteries too quickly and hopefully he’ll quit playing with the darn thing.
Have to admit…I am facinated with the Ron Popeil Showtime Rotisserie thing, “Set it and forget it!” I would love to get one, but my husband would kill me. I don’t really have the counter space for it, either. Oh, well.
On a local TV station they did a piece on the popiel rotisserrie thing and basically it doesn’t work worth a damn.
Lissa, I don’t have the fish but I have the frog. It sits on the groun & when someone walks in front of it, it goes really loud ‘RIBBET RIBBET’…I thought the fish was automatic like that?
Kinsey, yup, $25 bucks. I think it came w/ a instructional VHS tape and a few different sizes, kinda a whole kit. Still barely worth 5 bucks.
But, I’m a guy so it all seemed awfully damn lame to me…just throw on a baseball cap.
I’m going to get that fish for my Dad for Father’s Day - he LOVES crap like that (it would drive me bonkers in a matter of minutes).
I have the topsy tail and a hardini (I don’t think I bought either off the TV, though).
All of this stuff eventually will show up in some drug or department store, so I just usually bide my time until I can pick it up with my own hands a get a good look at it. I’ve been burned by mail order too many times - I like to fondle the product first (if possible).
Diane & BurnMeUp - Do either one of you work in advertising?
There is a guy I work with who has the fish, the dancing gopher from “Caddy Shack”, & some fake dog poop he keeps on his computer. He also has an impressive collection of pez dispensers on his desk & some old (read b-movie) horror movie posters.
My dad loves his Rotisserie! (Maybe that’s not saying too much for my dad…)
He uses it almost every day, and because he, too, lacks counterspace, he keeps it outside, on the back patio. It gets pretty hot too, so he doesn’t like to have it in the house. His favorite dish to make is cornish game hens.
At least he’s using it so it wasn’t a total waste of money!
I’m goin’ to Rite-Aid tonight to find me a Buttonier!