Worst "As Seen On TV" Products

Three pointless/crap ones i’ve encountered.

1.) Wax Vac… does not work at all, its the silliest thing.
2.)Shamwow… Towels work better.
3.)Monkey hooks (the curved metal wires that insert into drywall)… These things couldn’t support a banana, and they don’t stay in straight.
What are your experiences?

I never buy these things, so I couldn’t tell you from experience. But easily the dumbest idea I ever saw on those was the Ronco “Inside the Egg Shell Egg Scrambler”

The Egg Scrambler wins by being so transparently stupid, but a close second is the Miracle Thaw defroster. This is just a piece of aluminum with no special abilities – despite the ad – to allow your food to evenly defrost. You might as well just put it in a metal pan. But apparently a lot of folks don’t realize that.

In case you actually believe in this item:

My wife picked up a “Slap Chop” at a yard sale or something for a buck. In theory, actually not the worst idea ever. In practice, a complete disaster. First off, the thing’s barely big enough to fit a crabapple, which means if you want to chop up anything larger than that you still need to break out the knife and cutting board to cut things down small enough to fit in the thing. Secondly, the “blades” are about as sharp as cookie cutters, and cut an onion just as [del]well[/del] horribly as you would expect. Third, even if the blades cut well, the pieces it cuts are totally uneven. It’s not a chopper, it’s a pulverizer. Completely useless.

Wha…? :confused:

Every picture in my house is hanging on a monkey hook. Although, I don’t know if that’s the actual brand name. Some of my frames are pretty heavy though and they work just fine.

Maybe I just used them wrong or something (I can’t see how, but maybe)… Didn’t work out so well for me. its like they need weight on them to stay in place… not much security there for my taste.
I only buy these “As Seen On TV” things if they are on sale for a buck or two in a discount bin, obviously the proper place for them.

Slap Chop was totally one of them, in total agreement there. I don’t see the point of it, I think its easier to clean a knife and cutting board anyway than some little device.

My ex-wife bought some Shamwows and I got half of them in the divorce (just by happenstance, not on purpose). I like them. They’re not so amazing that everybody should go out and buy one but I find them marginally better than a regular dish towel. What I don’t like about them is they get ruined in the dryer.

I don’t know why, exactly, but this sentence cracks me the fuck up! :smiley:

Then my work here is done. :slight_smile:

Me too. I’m imagining BKB’s final argument with his ex wife: “And I’m taking the Shamwows bitch!!” :smiley:
(Not saying the ex is really a bitch. Just the dialogue in my head.)

LOL! :smiley:
(For the record, she’s not. Our breakup was very amicable and we remain good friends.)

The vignette that popped into my head somehow involved Vince, the ShamWow! spokesperson, involved in some seedy tryst with one or both of you, and when the shit hit the fan, all anybody got was half an order of ShamWows!

:smiley:

I need to drink less. Or more.

The Shake Weight. I am ashamed to say that I knew a lot of people to buy them and none went beyond one or two uses. Although I did enjoy the South Park take on it all. :wink:

Sham-wows are a ‘ask for it by name - accept no substitutes’ backpacking standard item for many.

The ‘Liquid rubber in a Can’ stuff. Never used it, I just see it that it could work in very limited circumstances, be temporary in many more (requiring now removing this stuff to either reapply it or fix it right, and just not work at all for most and now you have to deal with this stuff too to fix it.

I knew someone who bought the Black Liquid Rubber in a Can stuff and used it to repair a leaky shower stall. It looked appalling. You can buy color-matching caulk or RTV sealant in a hardware store – why get this ugly gunk?

I just saw this one for the first time:

https://www.sockslider.com/?mid=9217033

While I feel bad for people who can’t bend to put on their socks, I can’t help but :dubious: :smack:

The thing that’s funny about so many of these “As Seen On TV” products is how contrived the ads are showing how hard it is to do the thing that these things are the solution to. Like the pasta pot that has the strainer built in, because it’s just so damn difficult to pour a boiling pot of pasta into a colander in your sink. I’m surprised the Slap Chop ad didn’t have someone losing a finger trying to use an ordinary knife and cutting board.

The “Bamboo Bra” that offers “amazing support for plus-size women” just. doesn’t.

Imagine your grottiest, most stretched-out, cheapass sports bra* – this is the level of (non) support this PoS has. I was so pissed off I couldn’t even bring myself to return it for a refund.

*Boy dopers, I don’t know what the parallel undergarment would be to illustrate this – grotty jockstrap from ninth grade?

This is my LOL ad too . . . but if it does actually work, I could imagine it is useful for people with limited mobility.

I found the original Ginsu Knife commercial is hilarious – it opens with a guy breaking a couple of boards:

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=ginsu+knife+commercial&view=detail&mid=40A05E8D328DBA881B4240A05E8D328DBA881B42&FORM=VIRE

You get the impression that they either never saw a real karate demonstration or else didn’t know how to break the boards without hurting themselves. The boards in the ad are absurdly long and thin, and the grain is running the wrong way.

Real Karate Board breaking:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4aM_MxWcc0