For the purpose of this thread, I’m talking about products that serve a function. Something that is purely for decorative or amusing purposes doesn’t count. For example, the tool that lets you make toast that has a picture of the Virgin Mary on it. Yes, it’s technically useless, but it’s supposed to be.
This thread is for serious products that are useless. There are two categories of useless:
First: products that have no reason to exist; they exist to solve a problem that doesn’t exist in the first place. For example, the tool that scrambles an egg inside its shell.
Second: the product simply fails to do what it is supposed to do. An example would be those reverse-syringe things that are supposed to extract blackheads but in actuality do nothing at all.
Preferably, this is something you’ve actually tried, and not just something you suspect is useless. So… what have you found?
Here is my entry, which falls into the second category: SmartScoop Scoop-N-Sift Litter Scoop. The problem? It has a short handle that sticks straight out from the back of the scoop. The clumps and poops fall out of the scoop because you can’t tip it back to an angle that keeps them in (or even level, really) without getting your knuckles in the kitty litter still in the box. You have to sort of chase the clumps to the edge of the box, trap them there, lift them high enough that you can get some kind of tilt, then hope that it is enough. Usually it isn’t and everything tumbles back out. There is a reason that traditional scoops have a handle that angles upward. Additionally, because of its shape, it is literally impossible to scoop the corners of the box. I used it three times, then threw it away.
Are you kidding me? $12.50 for that? We have four litter boxes, each with its own scoop similar to the one linked. Heavy duty. Works like a charm. Cost ? 57 cents at Winco.
</hijack>
Not only that, for people who are willing to swill back foul tasting liquid but not actually gain any pleasurable effect from it. Virtually everyone I know admits that if it weren’t for the bonuses of drinking alcohol they never would have got past the forcing-it-down phase when they started drinking beer.
Different strokes, I guess. I always loved the taste of beer. These days, it isn’t my preferred alcoholic drink, but I do sometimes have a non-alcoholic beer because I want the taste of beer. So I head for an O’Douls, although I try to get something better if I can.
Although I admit, I do miss the bitterness that the alcohol imparts to a normal beer, so I add a few drops of Angostura–which does increase the alcohol content, but only slightly.
I bought one of these because I had a lot of spiders.
It sucked. That is, it didn’t suck. Oh, all right–it sucked, but not hard enough. I ended up having to beat the spiders to death with it, and then dispose of them the usual way instead of as promised, sending them to a quick and merciful death via insect version of electric chair. If they had enough sense to run into a corner, they were totally safe, as it wouldn’t fit into corners.
Note to product improvers: suction and corner-ability.
The Vitalizer Plus! $500 (now only $445! Buy two!) device that creates hexagonal water®! Be sure to get an additional mineral cubes ($85 each)! Use the power of the vortex to have more natural, hexagonal water! Only nine glasses a day will start you on the way to hexagonal health!
Category 1: Vaginal Deodorizing Spray. Um hi2u, soap & water instead! I have never met nor heard of any male who prefers his sweetie’s cooter to smell like artificial flowers.
Not that said area can’t become overly fragrant, on a warm day or at certain times of the month. But again - SOAP AND WATER, PEOPLE!
Literally, in this case, since it was the example given in the OP. I’ve been thinking about it for over 20 years and I still can’t figure out why anyone would want to do that.
