[QUOTE=Chief Pedant]
The second farce is that I could strap an ordinary urinary leg bag under my trousers and get a gallon or two of anything through easily.
[/QUOTE]
I regularly do, and have never been challenged even after being frisked. The only time a security official has asked what the liquid-filled bag on my leg and tubing was, he got really embarrassed and apologised to me for asking, he didn’t bother to verify that it actually was what I was claiming.
I don’t know about a gallon though, that’s some BIG legbags. Mine are 500ml, and they’re pretty uncomfortable to wear when they’re more than half full.
[QUOTE=Szlater]
I regularly do, and have never been challenged even after being frisked. The only time a security official has asked what the liquid-filled bag on my leg and tubing was, he got really embarrassed and apologised to me for asking, he didn’t bother to verify that it actually was what I was claiming.
I don’t know about a gallon though, that’s some BIG legbags. Mine are 500ml, and they’re pretty uncomfortable to wear when they’re more than half full.
[/QUOTE]
Stovepipe pants, man, and a more robust strap instead of that cheap rubber thing. Plus a longer bag; the average Foley bag gets a titch round with more than 500 cc…
ETA: they are even less likely to mess with a Colostomy bag, I bet.
[QUOTE=Colophon]
That’s the thing, though - surely you could have a self-contained bomb, with a timer attached, that could be carried internally? No lighting required, just sit, wait, and detonate yo’ ass.
[/QUOTE]
That would require metal for wires and such. The TSA person just might get a bit suspicious when their wand beeps at your asshole.
[QUOTE=Rick]
That would require metal for wires and such. The TSA person just might get a bit suspicious when their wand beeps at your asshole.
[/QUOTE]
Hmm. So a woman could sneak something in in her vagina and just say it’s an IUD setting off the wand.
[QUOTE=Rick]
That would require metal for wires and such. The TSA person just might get a bit suspicious when their wand beeps at your asshole.
[/QUOTE]
Ha! This reminds me of the time we had three different types of explosives in five gallon buckets, staged for a demonstration.
As I scanned the acronyms on written in black Magic Marker on a piece of duct tape affixed to the buckets, they read: TNT (trinitrotoluene, ANFO (Ammonium Nitrate and Fuel Oil), and ANAl (Ammonium Nitrate and Aluminum). Cracks me up every time!
Doesn’t C-4 or other plastic explosives have to be ignited with a blasting cap or something? Spicy meal variety not withstanding. I’m sure something like that would show up on the metal detector.
Couldn’t you just put something other than toilet paper in the toilet? There are signs everywhere in the lavatory saying this would cause a leak and vaporize the airplane instantly. (I never exaggerate.)
As for explosives in checked luggage… those bags are screened now, and I also saw a news report about new boxes they can put luggage in. Like smaller shipping crates. Explosives damage the boxes, but are contained and don’t enter the cargo hold.
Now, I have NO IDEA if these are actually being USED… but they do exist.
And yes, you are not safe anywhere. Especially in airplane lavatories.
[QUOTE=Duckster]
Well, when a trained dog starts sniffing your butt as you go through the useless TSA security check, it won’t be long before the potential bombers eat a spicy and fragrant meal before inserting their C4 suppository.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Omegaman]
Doesn’t C-4 or other plastic explosives have to be ignited with a blasting cap or something? Spicy meal variety not withstanding. I’m sure something like that would show up on the metal detector.
[/QUOTE]
Blasting caps don’t have to be very big, maybe the width of a pencil and a third of the length, on average. The important thing is confinement, in which the metal can be substituted for just about anything, such as the plastic of a pen, that wouldn’t set of a metal detector. There are also nonelectric detonators, which don’t use wires. As was stated before, the hardest part would be getting past the “puffer” machines, and avoiding the telltale smell on your ass.
[QUOTE=Pygmy Rugger]
As was stated before, the hardest part would be getting past the “puffer” machines, and avoiding the telltale smell on your ass.
[/QUOTE]
Hmmm. I travel regularly and I’ve never been “puffed” at the TSA security checkpoint.
Where are you guys flying in and out of, where you get “puffed”?
[QUOTE=Algernon]
Hmmm. I travel regularly and I’ve never been “puffed” at the TSA security checkpoint.
Where are you guys flying in and out of, where you get “puffed”?
[/QUOTE]
I’ve been puffed leaving Vegas. But it’s maybe 5% of the passengers getting screened. Worst was the person directly in front of me set off the machine, and it took 10 full mins to reset, with all of us in line stuck there. (The one in Vegas gets set off a lot with folks who watch the pirate battle on the strip… the explosive residue from the firefight is enough to get onto spectators apparently.)
I’ve been through the puffer at BWI and in Seattle, but it was because I got sent through the extra security (riiiiiiiight) line (because my barely-expired drivers’ license apparently made me a terror suspect). Nobody offered to search my ass, thank Og.
If you push security hard enough, you can have a cavity search. (no cite) Those TSA guys are often ex-military, and they’ll be glad to oblige you. - Jinx
[QUOTE=filmyak]
new boxes they can put luggage in. Like smaller shipping crates. Explosives damage the boxes, but are contained and don’t enter the cargo hold.
Now, I have NO IDEA if these are actually being USED… but they do exist.
[/QUOTE]
They exist, and have existed for years. However I believe they are still optional for airlines, and since they cost a lot more than the traditional ones, which after all don’t get blown up all that often, the airlines don’t bother with them.
[QUOTE=Algernon]
Hmmm. I travel regularly and I’ve never been “puffed” at the TSA security checkpoint.
Where are you guys flying in and out of, where you get “puffed”?
[/QUOTE]
The Albuquerque Sunport, and at one or two airports out of Houston, Miami, Detroit, and Vegas.
It’s just a machine that looks like an “expanded” metal detector, about the size of a telephone booth. You enter, and the glass door shuts behind you. Several puffs of air are used to strip aromatic molecules off of you. Large, organic molecules are caught by a filter, which is flushed with a solvent. Although there are several methods, one is to send the solvent to a low end model GCMS (Gas Chromatograph, Mass Spectrometer). The mass spec analyzes the molecular weight of the compounds, looking specifically for high levels of nitrogen (and secondarily, oxygen and hydrogen. These, along with carbon, are the building blocks of explosives, known as the CHON molecules).
When I worked in the field testing explosives, I’d regularly hear stories of people pinging the machines. The best I heard was of a guys brother who stayed with him one weekend, and pinged the machine because his brother had somehow rubbed their shoes together, getting RDX from walking around the residue onto his brothers boot.
[QUOTE=Jinx]
If you push security hard enough, you can have a cavity search. (no cite) Those TSA guys are often ex-military, and they’ll be glad to oblige you. - Jinx
[/QUOTE]
Do security guards actually conduct physical cavity searchs themselves? :eek: I was under the impression that only medical personel where allowed to.
[QUOTE=alphaboi867]
Do security guards actually conduct physical cavity searchs themselves? :eek: I was under the impression that only medical personel where allowed to.
[/QUOTE]
