OK, I have to know this. They have us taking off our shoes, belts, and all kinds of stuff to make sure nobody is sneaking any bombs on the plane. But being as how a determined individual could probably shove 1-3 lbs of plastic explosives into his/her rectum… what is TSA’s defense against this? Are there in fact random cavity searches? I assume they must be doing something or else this security hole would have already been violated. But they day they try to probe my rusty bullethole for no good reason is the day I start shooting. I mean, writing very strongly-worded letters to the editor.
snicker
It’s called a crap-shoot.
I’d like to think that there’s a level of invasiveness up with which the flying public will not put.
Well, undercover agents seem to still be able to get guns and bombs aboard whenever they test the system, so I guess nobody really needs to resort to a C-4 suppository just yet. Besides, if somebody just wants to blow up a plane, the device will probably be in the stored luggage, or put aboard some other way. Cheers!
Toot, toot, tootsie, goodbye!
I think it would be a lot easier just to tape it to your legs and wear baggy clothes.
Actually they will not stick anything where the sun don’t shine. They’ll just use one of those sniffer devices and make you squeeze out a fart.
Well, when a trained dog starts sniffing your butt as you go through the useless TSA security check, it won’t be long before the potential bombers eat a spicy and fragrant meal before inserting their C4 suppository.
Guess it gives a new meaning to lighting your farts lol
I hope this is not too far off-topic to earn me a smack-down from the mods…
A guy tries to light a shoe bomb with a match and the TSA bans lighters from planes, but matches are OK.
Given that mind set, you are putting ideas like this into their heads? :eek:
I’ve wondered exactly the same thing before - and not just that method of smuggling, but swallowing an explosive device as well, or even having an incision made elsewhere on the body and plastic explosive concealed inside. After all, if enough can fit in the sole of a shoe to blow up an airliner, then you could fit plenty inside your body.
OK, half the answers were jokes… I realize everybody likes dick-and-fart jokes but being in GQ I’m interested in a factual answer here…
I can’t imagine it could be inserted without there being some odour, at least at our airport, quite a bit of stock is placed in equipment that samples the air around people and their luggage. We’ve got a cabinet you stand in that puffs air on you, then samples the result.
COULD you make a device, seal it well enough, clean it well enough, insert it, and cause damage? Potentially, but it would take quite a bit of effort, could most likely fail, and then the TSA would adjust their security protocols. (Just sit on this chair a sec, you’re going to feel a puff of sunshine, please be so kind as to break wind afterwards.)
I doubt finding polyvinyl-acetate(*) molecules exiting your butt is something that’s normally expected.
*=or whatever, I just made that up as it sounded scientific.
Honestly, I took the increased Al Qaeda videos around 9/11, followed by a whole lot of no terrorist to be a telling event.
Really, Baldwin answered your question. If you can disguise your explosive well enough that it won’t be sniffed by bomb detection equipment, you can just put it in your luggage.
There are security holes. There always will be. You are not safe anywhere.
Remain vigilant. If you see a passenger trying to light his asshole, be sure and notify a stewardess.
That’s the thing, though - surely you could have a self-contained bomb, with a timer attached, that could be carried internally? No lighting required, just sit, wait, and detonate yo’ ass.
If you inserted along with a gut-proof timer, there would be no need to light it.
Further if you could convince someone else to carry it for you (trust me, it’s pure coke) it would not even be a suicide mission.
You shouldn’t encourage US officials to do cavity searches…sometimes they’re a bit overzealous.
British man has anal stitches pulled out during US immigration check
I’m on four flights a week or so and I don’t think TSA has adequate defense against bad breath, let alone real threats.
As an example, they want you to declare your liquids (gels and pastes), separate them out and put them in a one quart baggie. This is to thwart terrorists from taking liquid explosive reagents on board. They take this very seriously. Four ounces instead of three? We gotta confiscate that…even though six ounces in two containers is fine. You only have one pint baggies? Sorry; no soup for you through the line.
The first farce is that the reason you must take these liquids out and declare them. Why? Because if you don’t the scanning equipment cannot otherwise find them. I’ve never had my toothpaste confiscated, and I don’t take it out. The second farce is that I could strap an ordinary urinary leg bag under my trousers and get a gallon or two of anything through easily.
I doubt I am giving terrorists ideas. They cannot possibly be that stupid. OTOH, the TSA screeners do not behave as if they had mastered high school.