The title says it all. But it is a strict condition: Greenland must be formally ours by Election Day 2020. No promises, no excuses, just ours.
It does not have to be a state. It does not have to be a commonwealth. It could be a US territory. You could slice it a lot of ways. But if the US acquires Greenland, I’ll vote Trump 2020.
Of course, there are limits. Trump can get away with a lot of bad behavior in the past if he acquires Greenland. But I can’t see the future. It is possible his behavior could become so egregious that even Greenland couldn’t compensate it.
In my opinion a voter should make his/her choice on something less meaningless. Not that gaining Greenland would be totally meaningless, it’s just that there are several more important criteria on which to make ones decision.
Your Mileage. It could be different than mine. Vary.
Sure, but the whole point of it melting away is that it makes all kinds of mineral resources accessible. Of course, that just accelerates climate change.
That was just a half-joking reference to Trump’s business skills, as in his casino “success.” U.S companies can get access to those minerals without making the government buy the place.
And, since Trump does not believe it is melting, we can expect a casino like failure (but this time applied to the whole world including America) for not preparing at all.
[sub]* Link to video goes to the final seconds of Science writer Peter Hadfield talking about the best evidence of what took place elsewhere in the world when Greenland was a bit warmer.
If Trump buys Greenland, what happens to the inhabitants? Are they given citizenship? If not, what is their status? Do they automatically get green cards? Could they all be deported to Denmark?
Trump’s immigration policies always include a dose of racism, so why would things be different this time?
Those who can prove European descent can become citizens. They’re white, so Trump wants them. Those who can’t become “permanent residents” since Denmark will point out that, ethnically, they’re not Danish.
The courts would interfere, and Trump would keep finding different ways to say “non-white” and exclude them.
I’ve thought that we should rename Puerto Rico “Greenland” and sell that to Trump. Everything stays the same except that now Puerto Rico has the money it needs to rebuild.
I mean, I have said elsewhere that the US owning Greenland is a neutral to not-bad idea. But there’s no way I would accept this as a substitute for Trump’s continuing to do dumb things while generally failing to to smart things and serving in general as a howling rattling senescent dickbag of chuds that nobody really wanted.
Greenland carries incalculable value to the US if viewed from 50, 100, 200 years out. Especially if you believe climate change will really take effect over that time frame. It very well may be one of the nicest places around once it is denuded of ice and the nearly million square miles of virgin territory revealed.
Trump’s damage (hopefully) will not have so lasting an effect. A recession? Meh, bump in the road. He could get re-elected, get caught banging a robot hooker in the Oval Office and subsequently, finally be impeached, and it would still be worth it. Because, Greenland is forever.
If Trump wants to just buy my vote, he can buy it with Greenland. Now, if it is one of those situations like when we fomented a war with Mexico, marched in and bombarded Mexico City until they surrendered, then made a “deal” where we paid them $10 million for swathes of territory, sent the troops home and called it square, then no, that is egregious and the start of WWIII and Trump scores no points. If he can somehow buy Greenland though, fine. Quite the Presidential accomplishment. In fact, neither Abraham Lincoln nor Barack Obama bought Greenland. Not even Ronald Reagan managed.
I don’t think it will happen. I won’t actually eat my hat, but maybe later I will add that to my offer to sweeten the pot.
