Just curious what some of our Dopers here think. ** ElzaHub ** and I found ourselves in discussion over Baby B needing some new clothes last night - at five months old, he’s rapidly outgrown everything up to 3-6 month sized stuff, and while he still fits in 6-9, he’ll probably need to move to 9-12 shortly. As we got a TON of stuff for him before his birth in newborn and a size or two up, this is the first time we’ve really found ourselves needing to stock his wardrobe.
I just can’t see building an entire wardrobe out of new clothes for him when he’s outgrowing them so fast. I’ve hit a local consignment shop for clothes for him, and I’ve gotten some nice things there, but I also mentioned to ElzaHub that I would probably go to the Salvation Army shop and see what I could find. We have a HUGE, very nice Salvation Army store here, and I’d like to look for clothes for myself there (I hate spending money on clothes…).
His reaction was a little surprising to me - he said he’d rather I just go to the consignment shop to look for **Baby B’s ** clothes, or just get him a few new outfits from Target or Babies R Us.
I’m kind of puzzled by his reaction, and even he admits that there isn’t really a reason for it, just that getting clothes from the Salvation Army or Goodwill seems weird to him. I’ve heard others express this sentiment as well. To me, with as fast as my kid’s outgrowing clothes, I can’t see spending $15 on every outfit or sleeper when I can get several outfits for that price at the SA or Goodwill.
Am I the oddball here, or is he? Obviously, when my son gets bigger and isn’t outgrowing stuff so fast, I’ll be perfectly happy to outfit him in a new wardrobe. But for now, I figure we’ll find cute stuff that won’t break the bank at the SA, even if I have to replace it in 2-3 months.
I guess I’m trying to figure out if there’s a stigma to buying clothes at the SA or Goodwill that I’ve missed? It’s not like anyone will know his clothes come from there, and he’s certainly not old enough to care.
IME, yes, I know some people that have no problem with going to a consignment shop, but the Salvation Army is verbotten. I think it’s an issue in those folks minds that consignment = saving money/being frugal/thrifty, Salvation Army = charity/about to be homeless/broke. Not that it that’s a valid comparison - I disagree with them - that’s just how they “think”, KWIM? It’s about the SA’s rep in the past, I guess. Hard for me to explain.
Salvation Army? Goodwill? Hell no, lady, you need to learn about freecycle!
www.freecycle.org There are tons of people aching to give away baby clothes (and take your outgrown ones off your hands) for absolutely no money at all!
But yes, there probably is a stigma in some socioeconomic groups against thrift stores. I’m not part of that group. You’re more likely to hear me brag that I got a pair of Doc Marten sandals that have never been worn for $1.25 than brag about a $500 purse!
(Although I have to admit that SA in particular I try not to frequent, but it’s a religious thing. Unique is my thrift store of choice.)
Have NO shame about shopping at SA or Goodwill. My wife does VERY well there, often buying clothes that still have the original store tag still on them.
I think the sweater I am wearing as I type this is also from Goodwill, but I can’t tell which ones were and which weren’t purchased there.
You can get some VERY good deals there, and my wife was always one of the better dressed folks in her office (along with shopping conventional sales), though not always in 100%, fashion of the moment outfits. (who wants the hassle anyway)
There is definitely a stigma attached to shopping at thrift stores. My mom outfitted me from Savers and Goodwill for most of my childhood and I remember lying to kids at school about where my clothes came from. Kids are funny like that. I’m sure some people never grow out of that perception. For what it’s worth, I usually shop at Ross now because it’s easier to find cute clothes and they cost about what I would spend at Goodwill. (Savers is still cheaper than both, but their selection in my size leaves much to be desired. I’m fat, not tacky.)
I remember seeing a commercial for the Goodwill where one woman runs into another woman that she knows and becomes panicked. The second woman casually says, “I was just stopping by to drop off some clothes for donation.” The first woman says, “Oh, me too! Have a nice day!” and hurriedly leaves the store. When she’s gone, the second woman grins slyly and grabs a shopping cart. :rolleyes:
You’re absolutely right. The little tyke will outgrow things like mad and it would be better to have a few dozen decent clothes from a thrift store than rotating 3-4 new outfits from Target for the same price.
I think a lot of people do have a slight aversion to thrift shops, but like your husband, don’t really have a good reason why. Those of us who do thrift shop know just how cool they can be! My teenage daughter sometimes gets compliments on her thrifted clothes, and then is embarrassed when someone asks where she got them. Of course, teenagers are all about “status”. I’d expect an adult to be more realistic about the value of slightly used clothing.
P.S. In my neck of the woods, Goodwill has a lot of decent stuff, and the Salvation Army is where people dump torn, broken, stained crap.
Like you, I don’t get the stigma but think it’s like Missy2U said: to some people Goodwill/SA=charity. It often surprises me to hear that people would rather buy a new shirt for $10 at Wal-Mart than buy a slightly used but terrific quality/brand item from Goodwill for $5. I’m exactly the opposite. To me, there’s nothing better than a good deal and Goodwill/Salvation Army/thrift stores are full of them. I’d say at least half of my clothing purchases are made at Goodwill or eBay. Just this weekend I came home with a new pair of pants (with tags), long-sleeved T-shirt, dressy cami, and a sweater for the grand total of $14.50 at Goodwill. My sister is the queen of thrift store shopping for her girls, who are always impeccably dressed. I hate to even suggest it but maybe you could just tell him they’re from the consignment shop?
I think there might be some stigma. I have a “thing” against buying my child’s clothes there because my grandmother used to give me clothes from there all the time when I was a kid, and there’s just no coming back socially from pink polyester hound’s-tooth pants suits.
When I HAVE looked, I found that I had to dig through 100 horrible/stained/ripped/outdated things to find one thing worth buying. The consignment shop was much more satisfying.
Seriously, I tried Freecycle for a few months, but the one in my area still allows pets to be given away on the list, and my animal-lover bleeding heart just couldn’t take it anymore . It was either see those messages and get depressed over the animals we couldn’t take, or become Crazy Cat Lady and take 'em all.
(Plus, I’m not ready to give clothes away just yet - my sister-in-law and I are going to trade clothes back and forth until we’re both done having kids…if we both have a girl next time, we’ll start giving away our boys’ clothes, but until then, if we each have another boy, they’re going to have killer wardrobes ).
I guess I just don’t get where he’s coming from - I’m only going to buy the munchkin clothes that are in good condition, and I still can’t resist picking up a cute outfit at Babies R Us or The Children’s Place every once in awhile - my thrifty self just can’t see doing it for all of his clothes.
I don’t see anything wrong with it. Most of my daughter’s clothes came from Sally’s when she was a little one, because kids’ clothes are expensive and she grew FAST.
Stigma? You’re not going to pin a note on his back that says “This Outfit Purchased At The Salvation Army,” so don’t worry about it.
[I used to make jokes about dumpster diving for kid’s clothes, and then one time when she was six or so, my mother complimented her on a really cute outfit and the kid told her, “Daddy held me by the ankles so I could grab it out of a really deep dumpster!” Mom was horrified - I laughed my ass off.]
your Goodwill doesn’t have good-quality stuff and people would be able to tell your kid (esp when it’s old enough to get teased) is dressed not as well
your Goodwill has a limited supply and those who can afford other options are making it difficult for those who really need it to get low-priced stuff
Since I doubt those are the case, you should be fine. It’s not a choice I make for myself but I would definitely do it for a quickly-growing baby.
Ditto what butler1850 said. No shame about shopping at Goodwill here for my own clothes. They’re super cheap and perfectly fine. And I donate some of my old stuff there (and get a tax deduction) too. It’s win/win.
Gads, I get MOST of my clothes at the thrifts, and probably half of my home decor, too. I’m quite firmly in the upper-middle-class income bracket, but I cannot even remotely justify spending $30 for a skirt at Target when I can get an Ann Taylor SUIT at the thrift store for $3.
Fortunately, my teenaged daughter is not in the least bit bothered by thrift stores (and neither are her friends, who like to make a competition out of thrift shopping) and my husband equates my thrifting savvy with inventing the wheel.
I get a lot of “you have got to be kidding me, you found that in a THIRFT STORE?” from friends, but rather than turning up their noses, they far more frequently say, “you have to take me with you next time you go!”
I used to joke that my son’s skin would burn if it came in contact with new clothing. Yard sales, thrift stores, hand-me-downs, all were resources for his wardrobe.
infants grow so fast that there are lots of clothes that are in good condition available for resale, and really, why buy new when the child too young to Be aware or stigmatized as to where their clothes come from and it costs so much more to outfit them with new?
Now that my son is older, it’s harder to find things in his size (tall and lanky) that aren’t completely worn through and/or stained in a thrift or consignment shop (heck, he tends to wear through/stain new stuff before he entirely grows out of them). So, now it makes sense for me to get him new tings on sale or at Burlington coat factory/TJ Maxx type places. He’s still too young to notice or care about where his clothes come from, and happily uses the odd hand me down that comes his way in good condition.
I am reluctant to purchase undergarments of any kind, hats that aren’t easily washable, and shoes that aren’t basically unworn at thrift shops or consignment shops. My husband will not buy clothes that have been worn before, but will happily buy other things at yard sales or thrift stores.
Isn’t the “charity” thing sort of backwards? Don’t the non-profits use the thrift stores to generate revenue for their causes, whatever those may be? So by shopping at a thrift store, you’re GIVING money to a charity, not taking charity. The low priced clothes for you are a bonus - they got them for free, minus sorting and laundry. I think of them as the bonus coffee mug that comes with a donation!
Oh, Elza B, ugh on your local freecycle chapter. We banned pet posts a long time ago, thank goodness. I understand your quandry there! My only other thought is if one of you works or frequently visits another ZIP code, you can look into a chapter a little further away from where you live. And I hope you at least emailed your moderators to tell them why you were leaving, so they consider reconsidering the pet policy.
My SO and I are polar opposites on this topic. I have no problem shopping goodwill or SA (Even my ‘store bought’ clothes are likely to be from Target or similar) and love every bargain I find. He on the other hand will only buy things from name brand stores. Even if it is the exact same item, he wants it to come from “The Mall!” and not a thrift store.
We both come from rather poor families and had most of our clothes secondhand, I remember being afraid a pair of jeans I wanted were too much because they were…GASP!..$4.00. I grew up to still like thrift shopping, he turned into a touch of a snob about the issue. Different people react different ways.
I think at least one thrift - St. Vincent dePaul, maybe? - focuses its thrifts primarily on providing free or reduced priced clothing to the needy, but their stores are open to the public as well. I think they cherry-pick what is most needed from the donations they receive and sell the rest. But yes, I think most of the others use the money they raise in their thrift stores for their charities. Some thrifts AREN’T charity stores, though - there’s a chain called Village Discount Outlet in my area that accepts donations, but it is a for-profit business, not a charity.
Also, I think that you’re off on the “sorting and laundry” costs - most of the thrifts I’ve been to put stuff out as-received, and some of it received in pretty yucky shape. I just automatically assume whatever I buy will have to be cleaned/laundered before I wear it. Even taking into consideration the cost of dry cleaning, it’s still less expensive than buying new most of the time.
My local Freecycle just this morning started taking a poll about pets. Will be interesting to see which way that goes.
Oh, I did - I let them know that - I just suggested that they might want to look into banning animal posts, since I knew some other Freecycle lists had done so, and it was difficult for animal lovers to remain on the list. I was very kindly :rolleyes: informed that the animal posts would be staying. So I didn’t.
I always thought that about SA and Goodwill - anyone could shop there, and the money goes to help the needy.
When my son’s older and cares about things like where his clothes come from, I’ll be happy to buy him new clothes. As far as now, it kills me to spend $20 for an outfit for which he gets maybe 5-6 uses. And the consignment shop is great, but once I’ve picked over their racks, there’s not much left. eBay is good, though.
I think some of the stigma is gone now - many people have realized you can luck into some great buys! I see nothing wrong with that, consignment or freecycle. They have some great deals and things i would normally not be able to afford otherwise.
However, I think there used to be a big stigma - for example my MIL was poor growing up, her mom bought her a lovely (and distinctive) red coat with a fake fur collar and cuffs at the goodwill. She loved it and wore it to school as soon as she could. One of the more affluent snoby girls approached her at recess, “Oh,” she said loudly.“My coat looks very nice on you!”
She was very hurt.
. It was either see those messages and get depressed over the animals we couldn’t take, or become Crazy Cat Lady and take 'em all.
).