By the way, I did something cowardly last night

This will take me out of the running for the most admired doper, but I pulled a knife on a girl inside a passenger bus. I didn’t cut her or even invade her space. We were sitting beside each other and I took out my knife, slashed the back of the seats in front of us, and then put the knife away as quickly as I took it out.

I’m forced to ride public most of the time due to lack of parking space in our office building. I’m learning to ride a motorcycle right now but I’m far from qualified as yet. So I’m force to brave the usual hassles of public transport; like having to stand, or someone making a lot of noise with his/her phone while others are quiet, trying to catch a nap during the two-hour ride. It’s this last thing that gets me. Nearly everyone hates people who talk loudly on their phones inside the bus. It serves no purpose other than draw attention towards one’s self. You’ll know this, since the substance of the conversation is usually even more mundane and pointless than this here sub-forum. With most miscreants I turn in their direction and give them a Karate stare. That usually sends the message, especially with men. Women are more difficult since they count on one’s good sense to avoid arguing with those of the weaker sex. Well this girl didn’t just ignore my stares or grunts or specific requests, she just looked at me and smiled, as if challenging me to do something.

Now it’s not my nature to hurt or pick fights or scare people, especially girls. But this one looked like she was asking for it. What explains the incremental “volume increase” with each polite request I make? So out came the Spyderco military and I treated her to a flash of knife steel, and hand speed that would have scared a samurai warrior. I put the knife away, folded my arms and closed my eyes.

To her credit she tried to act calm, even ballsy. She said over her phone, “Hey I’ll call you later, I have to call my Dad.” She pressed a number, and talked to her mother, “Ma, is Dad still in the police station?” [ha! get a better script writer.] “Look, could you come over at ___ and pick me up? This bus I’m riding in is dangerous. I’ll text you about it. Yeah, at __. Make sure you’re there. I’m about 15 minutes away. Ok.”

Me, I finally got the silence I wanted but had to assess the situation. She hasn’t screamed or complained to the driver. There were mostly women and non-combative males around us (one reason I decided on my action.) And only she saw the knife. I’m pretty sure I’m safe even if she calls in SEAL Team 6. I’ll just get down and wait for another bus. So I sat calmly, eyes slightly droopy but head erect and menacing. She was now quiet, rubbing her hands and fingers together and putting both of them to her mouth. “Now did I finally scare you, babe?” I stood up and got down. I couldn’t resist a back glance and I saw the angry and slightly hurt look on her face.

I really regret doing it, OK babe? This is the first time I pulled a stunt like that. You’re a nice looking girl and you have nerve, as I said. But try to recall your common courtesies and don’t piss (old) people like me too much. You might be very unlucky with the next creep who sits beside you.

If this is real then cowardice isn’t your biggest problem here.

Please tell us what region you live in so that we can move farther away from you.

But not via bus.

You have serious anger issues. Nip them in the bud now. You probably need professional help.

Also, you committed a crime, with a weapon. Probably a felony, too. Just because no one – to your knowledge – did/said anything about what you did does not mean your actions were not reported. Time will tell, as early as tomorrow if you ride the bus with the same passengers.

Can you link to the Ducati post you are parodying?

Yeah, don’t worry about it, that happens all the time and is a totally rational and normal response to the situation.

Taught that bitch a lesson. Ehh? :cool:
Hello, hello? Is this thing on??

You realize phones can take photos and videos, right? I hope she got your photo and turned you in, babe.

You’re not a coward, you’re a vandal and a criminal. You’re incredibly lucky she didn’t tell the driver. I promise you would have been escorted off the bus in handcuffs.
And no backing out of it now, you specifically said “But this one looked like she was asking for it. What explains the incremental “volume increase” with each polite request I make? So out came the Spyderco military and I treated her to a flash of knife steel, and hand speed that would have scared a samurai warrior.”

You were trying to scare her and even tossed in some misogyny for good measure ‘she was asking for it’…really?
At the very least, you were ‘brandishing’ your knife, which I’ll bet is illegal in your jurisdiction. On top of that, you probably could have been slapped with having a concealed weapon with out a CCW permit as well. That’s all in addition to vandalizing county property.

To be honest, had you done that to me, I would have gotten the hell out of my seat and let the bus driver know. IIRC, they have a panic button up there and the police probably could have been there before you could get off. If I couldn’t get out of my seat, I would have texted someone to call the police for me.

Personally, if I were you, I wouldn’t ride the same bus tomorrow.

What you did was indefensible.

ETA, BTW ‘stares and grunts’ aren’t police requests. Also, FTR, had she legally been carrying a weapon, she could have legally used you and been legally in the clear. She would have been defending herself. In fact, someone else on the bus could have pulled out their own knife or gun and caught you in the back or arm or punched you or pepper sprayed you and they would have been in the clear as well.

I think you meant to type polite, not police.

You’re right, that’s what happens when I start trying to beat the edit window.

Of course, they’re not typically police requests either.

And while we’re at it this:

should say used it on you, not “used you”.

Okay, the way I see it, I’m going to take action on this topic by doing one of the following: Closing it or moving it to the Pit. Me taking some sort of action on it is a given, though…
…so I’m going to pick “closing it” for two big reasons: 1. What you did was illegal and 2. Coming on here and making a topic about it I cannot see any other way as trolling, which I’m giving you a warning for. Seriously, you thought this would be a good idea to make? Don’t make a thread like this again that documents yourself doing something illegal, serious or not.