Each channel could have 168 1 hour shows or 336 1/2 hour shows, or some of both. Once a week you get to see your favorite show from not-too-long ago, so buy a vcr or Tivo now. c’mon you know you want to see Herman’s Head and Picket Fences again too!
Murdered by Fox channel
See such favorites as Firefly, John Doe, The Lone Gunmen, Millennium, Pasadena, Wonderfalls and all the other unfortunate shows that died an early death merely because they were sold to Fox.
I’d like to see the Horror movie channel, and how about a Comedy movie channel, as well.
Governor Quinn’s radio show idea is completely do-able. We’ve got 40 channels of digital music on our cable right now, so why not radio shows and other spoken broadcasts as well, like comedy?
Not “The History Channel”, but the history of everyday stuff. Anything you wanted to know about lightbulbs? Right here. The evolution of voting machines? Hermit crab racing? Staple guns? Artificial waterfalls? Laundry detergent through the ages? Squeaky toys? Umbrellas? Rose trellises? Lined notebook paper?
All right here. The Color Channel
All colors, all the time. Thrill as colors morph through all their tints and hues. Sit back and watch as deep magenta changes to brilliant sunset orange to lemon yellow to chatreuse to cyan and beyond. TiVo your favorites for later viewing at your convenience.
And every Saturday at 11 pm: plaid. Parental discretion advised.
There was a British series that came pretty close. “The Secret Life of Machines” featured a different modern electronic device or appliance and gave its history. Pretty good. It pops up now and again on the Discovery Science Channel.
The Construction Channel: What can most people be counted on to just watch, for no apparent reason? A building under construction!* No commentary, no interviews, no documentary presentation – just train the cameras on construction sites and broadcast the live feed.
*Or a fire or a traffic accident. But construction sites are easier to predict.
I would watch a channel dedicated to video games. Reviews, news articles, tournaments, movies like resident evil or animated shows similar to the old school legend of zelda cartoons.
Japanese Game Show Network Translations of those wacky, ‘torture’ game shows
Asian Parliament Channel In a lot of asian parliaments, fights break out on the floor. I could watch that all day, especially with Sports Center type highlights and stats on which political party got in the most slaps.
The Classic Rock Concert Channel. Concerts that you couldn’t watch, since you weren’t born yet.
This channel would be geared towards teens/children who like older music, especially since they weren’t born in the days the concerts were being shown. Especially since certain bands won’t get back together for ONE last session together. I’m looking at you, Mr. Waters.
TBN - The Barbie Network
All Barbie, all the time.
Early morning programming would be for the young Barbie collector, including all those Barbie videos (‘Barbie’s Special Christmas’, ‘Barbie Explains Hanukka’, ‘Princess Barbie and the Pauper’, etc.), as well as all Barbie’s rock and exercise videos.
Evening programming would aimed at the more mature collector, including release dates of the latest fashions and accessories (“Move Over, Bob Mackie! Barbie’s Got a New Coture”), the impact of Barbie on the domestic and international world economies and the problem of counterfeit products (“Is it Barbie, or actually a Brabie?”), restorations and repairs (“Your three-year-old chews off Midge’s feet - DIY or call a professional?”), gossip and entertainment (“G.I. Joe vs. Ken - The Officer or the Gentleman?”) - and announcements about the latest estate sales from renowned Barbie collectors.
As with the news channels, there would be a slow crawl at the bottom of the screen detailing Barbie conventions (place, date and contact information) worldwide, and other up-to-the-minute news for the serious collector.
(Note: I wouldn’t watch it, but I know folks who would be glued to the screen.)
[QUOTE=screech-owlEarly morning programming would be for the young Barbie collector, including all those Barbie videos (‘Barbie’s Special Christmas’, ‘Barbie Explains Hanukka’, ‘Princess Barbie and the Pauper’, etc.), as well as all Barbie’s rock and exercise videos.[/QUOTE]
You made all that up, right?
Please, please tell me those videos don’t really exist. Not even toy manufacturers would be that cynical, would they? Would they?
[QUOTE=screech-owlEarly morning programming would be for the young Barbie collector, including all those Barbie videos (‘Barbie’s Special Christmas’, ‘Barbie Explains Hanukka’, ‘Princess Barbie and the Pauper’, etc.), as well as all Barbie’s rock and exercise videos.
You made all that up, right?
Please, please tell me those videos don’t really exist. Not even toy manufacturers would be that cynical, would they? Would they?[/QUOTE]
Hey, at least they’re making an effort at telling a story. If they were really cynical, it’d just be a Barbie head with some woman’s lips superimposed on it, ordering kids to buy Mattel® brand products, on an endless tape loop.
That, or they’d release Princess Barbie’s Crush-Fetish Adventure! just to prove that they could sell it.
If (When) there really was (is) a Barbie channel, you can bet yer dupa there would (will) be morning “educational” programming for the young’uns (gotta start them early).
Personally, I think “Barbie in the Nutcracker” just sounds so wrong. (<insert horrible crunching and squealing noises at your leisure> Although Barbie in “Crossfire” could be interesting. (We used to use “Target Barbie” for archery practice - that could take care of the sports programming…)
Play the theatrical release, play the EE release. Play them with director commentary, the actor comentary, the production designer comentary. Have guest commentarires from English professors to film professionals to fans. You could even play the cartoon movies. ESPN 8 The Ocho!
'nuff said. Ronco Fever Network
Nothing but the Ronco infomercials and ads. I want to see the ad for the pocket fisherman at every commercial break. Just set it, and FORGET IT!
**The Lindsey Lohan Network **
Film crews follow Lindsey Lohan everywhere she goes and records and broadcasts everything about her because God knows she doesn’t have enough media exposure.
PITF Network
Just footage of people getting a Pie in the Face. Stock footage, some live pieings. Celebrity pieings. All Pies, All Face, All the time.
