Has anyone here ever attended a wedding where the couple smashed the cake in each others’ faces, or, when the officiant said “If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace” and someone replied? Or been part of a couple who did this? What ended up happening?
I’ve known couples who did the cake-smashing thing (initiated by the groom in every case) but have never seen it, whether at a wedding where I was a guest, or was working at when I was in college. Not surprisingly, all the cake-smashing couples I can think of eventually divorced, usually after many years of abuse. As for the other thing, I haven’t seen it either, and simply didn’t attend the one wedding I’ve been invited to where I would have done that.
One of my FBFs, a woman I worked with in my old town, remarried early this summer…and they separated less than 2 months later after he beat her up. :mad: When she posted the pictures of her bruises on Facebook (probably not a good idea for other reasons, but too late now), several of the people who had attended her wedding said they had gone because they wanted to speak up, and regretted not doing so. :eek:
The “any reason these two should not be wed” thing is for lawful impediments…legal reasons under Church of England law that would make the marriage invalid. It’s the “he’s already married” or “They’re really brother and sister” type things. Unfortunately, “He’s a violent asshole who will abuse her” isn’t a valid impediment. While they probably shouldn’t be married, there’s no legal or religious obstacle to the marriage. The time to bring that up is before the wedding.
I have seen a few wedding interruptions. Usually it’s been for rather heinous reasons (groom or bride lied about serious matters) and the wedding did not go on.
I saw some interweb video where the crabby old church guy in a robe stops the ceremony and demands the photographers and guy taking video remove themselves. Bride did not look happy.
And there’s no legal right to raise an objection at that stage. The time to do it was when the banns were published (because that’s what they are for).
I work in the industry and my sample size is somewhere in the 300-350 range. Cake smashing has fallen way out of favor here, but I’ve seen it about a dozen times or so. If you add in cases where they just playfully smear a bit of the frosting on each other’s noses or whatnot, maybe another dozen or so times. When I’ve seen it, it was typically the bride initiating it (being egged on by the cake cutting watchers) with the groom either not responding or responding in a controlled manner. I can’t remember seeing a particularly violent cake smashing. It’s always been in good, albeit outdated, fun. When I was a kid in the 80s, it was pretty standard from the weddings my family attended. It’s in the same boat as the dollar dance to me. Also, the garter removal/toss has been falling by the wayside (another tradition I never understood). I see that at maybe at 15%-20% of the weddings I work. Bouquet toss is about even odds, probably slightly over half the time.
As for the objections line, I’ve only seen that in certain denominations, I believe Anglican/Episcopalian (and the posts in this thread seem to bear this out) or possibly Presbyterian. From my understanding, as has been stated, this has been a formality for objections for legal reasons, as Captain Amazing has stated. Nobody has ever replied.
Never been to a wedding with an objection. I’d guess my friends split 50/50 on doing it or not. I don’t think any of my wife’s friends smashed. That being said we planned it in advance and there were ground rules for how we would rub in the cake, it’s one of my favorite photos from our wedding.
Never seen anyone step up to speak out in the ceremony (though an ex of mine who became just a very good friend was egged on to do so by a friend of my family who thought it would be funny during my first wedding); have seen the cake-smashing a few times and it always seemed like a waste of expensive cake at least and childish; one groom smeared the cake up his bride’s face and she blew it out her nose w/o moving away from the cake. I know I wasn’t the only person there who declined a piece of wedding cake.
I’ve seen cake-smashing a few times. Those couples always ended up divorced, as I recall. It always looks hostile and childish to me, and neither of those things are great to bring into a marriage.
As for the other thing, I haven’t seen it either, and simply didn’t attend the one wedding I’ve been invited to where I would have done that.