California knows how to par-tay.
OK, fine, but what about the other US states? What do they know how to do well? I want to see if we can build up a skillset for the USA, state-by-state. Begin!
Cite please.
Well duh- we got more bounce in California than all y’all combined. 
Massachusetts is the humorless intellectual who talks about suffering children in Outer Berzerkistan while everyone else is trying have a good time.
Zapp & Roger, “So Ruff, So Tuff”
Ronny Hudson, “West coast poplock”.
and later authorities have all established that California, does indeed, know how to party. I don’t know if California knows how to party well, but others might be able to help us out here.
Mainly I want to stick with the skillset finding mission. It may come in useful for a resume builder in case the States needs to get a new job in the future. 
Pennsylvania will bring the snacks.
Cite.
In the Citayyyyy of LA
In the Citayyyyy of good ol’ Watts
In the Citayyyyy, city of Compton.
We keep it rockin
We keep it rockin.
ETS: Damn, I’d like to curse Cisco for sneaking in there but he beat me by an hour and a half. 
I happen to know that there ain’t no party like a Detroit party.
Cuz a Detroit party don’t stop.
Can’t speak for the rest of Michigan, though.
Georgia, persistently perching atop my cerebellum
Oregon can roll you a perfect phatty, or give you a nice glass piece if you prefer that and take you out on some gnarly snowboard runs. Then give you a wicked pint of beer and your choice of amazing bands. Maybe some fishing next day if the hangovers permit. Soak in a hot spring if not.
Of course Detroit parties stop for the same reason everything else in MI stops in November. Months and Months of bitter grey snow and cold.
Except in South Haven, Where the party really never stops.
Texas has a bunch of ex-wives so I’ll assume Texas excels at divorce.
Alabama and Mississippi will probably do something kinda stupid at first then spend the rest of the night convincing everyone that they’re really normal people, but still have a chip on their shoulders and feel constantly put down with the need to take up for themselves. But once you get to know them you find out they really aren’t that different than you and are actually kind of cool if a little weird. But then you find out that they are really good at deciphering and recording many traditions and social orchestrations that confound everyone else. So they get to be co-social secretaries.