Call her "fiancee" before the ring?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Are you implying our gov’t makes mistakes? :mad: … :wink:

22

That was not my intention.

I would prefer to state that loudly and clearly.

23

Financier is closer to the truth than you realize. :wink:

24

We were fiancees for about three months without any engagement ring at all.
There was just the slimmest of wedding bands. Neither of us like jewelry very much.

25

We were engaged for two months without a ring - and we were making all kinds of plans and booking venues and caterers You’re definitely engaged without a ring.

I will admit to wanting a ring because I was sick of being asked where it was. And the only reason I got a diamond is because we had one passed down from his grandmother - it’s been in the family over 150 years. Otherwise, I was hoping for a sapphire ring for an e-ring:). As it is, my setting has sapphires in it instead of diamonds as sidestones. But colored stones in engagement rings are becoming much more popular.

Ava

26

One piece of advice: Once you are officially engaged, it is NOT acceptable to refer to her as your “ex-girlfriend”.

:smiley:

27

the man is the fiance’
Affiance is a noun meaning “to give away” and is what the father does when he agrees to the marriage.

28

(These people should be paying me a commission, I’ve posted their link in diamond debates so often.)

Look into Canadian diamonds if you don’t want a conflict diamond. They even have tiny little polar bears etched on the girdle of the diamond.

29

I agree with everyone here that you don’t need a ring to be engaged. However, I do think there should be an official proposing and accepting before you are each other’s fiance/fiancee. If all you have is a mutual unspoken assumption that you will of course get married at some point, that’s not enough to qualify you as officially engaged, in my opinion.

So, if you haven’t asked her to marry you, go ahead and ask her! After she says yes, you can talk about dates for buying a ring and having a wedding.

30

I’d say you’re engaged. I don’t know if a ‘real proposal’ is necessary–I mean, wouldn’t it just be a little stage production? But I feel like that about people who ask Dad’s permission to marry the girlfriend they already live with, too. (What if he says no, btw?)

We didn’t have a real ring for at least few weeks; I wore a silver ring he owned (with tape). We went the broke-student route and got a white gold braided ring–which I’m wearing right now instead of my wedding ring, because it fits better at the moment. The wedding ring was falling off, and I was afraid I’d lose it.

31

I agree with Giraffe. My SO and I have agreed that one day we will get married, but we do not currently consider ourselves engaged. I imagine that one day we’ll do the proposal and setting dates stuff. Then we’ll be engaged. Whether or not there will be a ring is currently a matter of hot debate.

I admit this isn’t entirely rational, but I feel that being engaged is a stage in life as much as it is a stage in a relationship. I may be ready for one and not the other.

32

I dunno. For several months after we married, I introduced Deb as “my first wife.”

33

Call her whatever you want before the ring, thereafter it will be “Ma’am”.

34

[QUOTE=The Skipper]
INS form I-126f is titled: “Petition for Alien Fiance”, not “affianced”. Evidently they are not in tune with such subtleties. :wink:

[QUOTE]

AHA! Nice try, Skipper. :smiley: I had to come bug you about the subtleties…

It’s form I-129F, and the INS became the BCIS (under the DHS) and is now the USCIS.

:smiley: I’ve become Immigration Woman over the last year. Fear me. For I am fierce. And stuff.

As for the actual topic at hand - so long as she said “Yeah, sure!”, you’re all good. Hell, so long as you two are okay with it, you can call yourselves whatever you’d like! :smiley:

35

Here’s how I’d act:

  1. Formally “proposed” (i.e., down on one knee, ask “GF, will you marry me?”) and gave GF ring = fiancee

  2. Formally “proposed” but no ring yet = fiancee

  3. No formal proposition, no ring, but set date for wedding - fiancee

  4. No formal proposition, no ring, no date for wedding, just tacit understanding/discussion that, someday, we’ll get married = girlfriend

36

Actually, even if affiance meant ‘to give away’, it would still be a verb.

And it means to pledge, specifically, in marriage; so ‘affinanced’ is, IIRC, the past participle used as a noun, s/he who is affinanced.

However, according to Meriam-Webster, the word can be used to promise oneself or another, which could be the source of the confusion.