I actually probably would if I saw such a thing on a tag.
Whenever I get this crap from a salesman, I imagine them wasting their free time reading books with titles like Super Secret Closing Techniques. One day I’m going to thrust my wallet at one of these morons and scream “My God! You used my first name repeatedly and awkwardly! I’ll take the fucking undercoating and whatever else you’ve got!”. It’ll be fun to see the look on their face when they think all their hours of rehearsal have finally paid off.
Yeah, why would I need to call a grocery store clerk or waitress by their first name during the course of a business transaction? I just say “thank you” and be done with it.
What I find particularly annoying is when I go to a trade show and have to wear a nametag. Then all the vendors come up and are all like “So msmith537, blah blah…” like I already fucking know them or something.
I don’t think so. There’s a huge difference between giving a quick thanks to “John” compared to “Hi John! It sure is nice weather we’re having John. Say John, do you know where the WD-40 is John?”
Also, some workers, especially younger ones are pretty socially inept and don’t even say hello or anything as they start ringing in your goods. I rarely go out of my way to thank these robotrons by name, but a friendly worker who makes eye contact, smiles, is cheerful, and speaks first is probably OK with being thanked by name.
I like talking to people. I see nothing wrong with a reference by name here and there.
I’ve been on both sides f the fence, and it has never bothered me to have a stranger use my first name. Its just a way for someone to get my attention, or compliment or complain about me, so its easier for that person to use my name than saying the fat bearded guy with the twitchy eyeball.
Kamino said “Only a socially inept cretin refers to a person that they are not actually on familiar terms with in a familiar way”.
Kamino, I disagree and think you are entirely wrong.
Take the employee/customer equation out of it. Pretend Frank here stopped by TGI Fridays after a long hard day of rebuilding transmissions with his coworker Jim. They just wanted to grab a quick drink, so they didn’t change out of their mechanic’s jumpsuits with their names in red stitching on the typical blue-collar patch. You can’t not miss these names, they’re just right there.
You’re at the next table and you realize that your ketchup bottle is empty. You see that the two mechanics aren’t eating anything and they have a ketchup bottle. Would you ever say, “Excuse me Frank, can I borrow your ketchup bottle there?”
I mean, you’ve never met Frank before in your life, but you can’t help but notice his name. What’s the harm in that, right? It’s just friendly.
No, actually, it’s really fucking creepy. If you wouldn’t refer to his nametag in that situation, why would you do it in another situation?
I was a part of the original thread-jack and stated that it is rude to use a worker in the service industry’s name without some type of introduction or allowance.
I am a private person and respect others privacy. As a matter of fact, I might call you sir or mam even after you have offered a “Please call me Jack.”
All the reasons given above are exactly why. Using someone’s first name is a manipulation alot of the time. It tends to be business technique to get something from someone.
Obviously if you are getting lunch from someone everyday and you notice their name AND there is a reciprocal work-type-friendliness, using there name isn’t rude at all.
If a clerk is wearing a name tag with their first name I will assume that I am supposed to refer to them by that name, but that they will feel as uncomfortable as I would if it was used. So I don’t. Even though I usually chat to the people on the checkout. I manage this without using a name.
In Australia, in virtually any circumstance with a male “mate” will cover this. It would become, “Excuse me mate, can I borrow your ketchup bottle there?” Except ketchup would be “sauce” or “tomato sauce.”
I own dozens of used work shirts.
(Background: a buddy owns a bar. I found a work shirt company that sells bundled used work shirts for about a buck a piece. The company basically leases out shirts to businesses, but employee turnover. . . I bought 300 and had the bar’s name/logo screen printed on the back, by an alcoholic screen printer in exchange for drink. Cheap give-aways.)
So on any give day I might have on a highschool custodian shirt “Larry”, a towing service shirt “Raphael”, or a lawn service shirt, “Steve”.
Heh. Leads to occasional shenanigans.
Now that’s just wrong.
Wearing a name tag is a self-introduction. It doesn’t make sense to go about with a sign on your chest and expect people not to interpret it as you saying something.
If you don’t want to be addressed by your first name, don’t put that on the tag. Some customers, by the way, would prefer this in any case; they feel put-upon at being requested, by your tag, to address you in familiar fashion.
Absolutely. I just disagree that the name tag itself is not an introduction.
Now that kind of third-person tagging seems really dehumanizing. You’re saying it’s wrong for me to address you directly by your name–that is, as a person–but appropriate to talk about you?
Well, that’s not the same kind of overt invitation that wearing a name tag is. Using a first name there (absent the customer’s request) would be inappropriate. But Mr./Ms. Lastname? Of course.
“Excuse me Frank, can I borrow your ketchup bottle there?”
No, actually, it’s really fucking creepy. If you wouldn’t refer to his nametag in that situation"
This has actually happened, (maybe it wasn’t ketchup - it was something)
My response was a puzzled “do I know you?” They pointed to name tag (red letters in white oval). I looked down and had a laugh and likely said something to the effect of ‘I need that by the end of the night.’ ('Cos I’ve said that plaenty of times).
If any one finds that “really creepy” you sure don’t want to meet any of my old friends.
But the business relationship, or some other basis of deliberate interaction, is the key. Frank and Jim aren’t there to interact with you; reading their name tags is like eavesdropping on their conversation. The staff is there to interact with you; failing to read their name tags is like pretending you can’t hear them when they speak to you.
Generally, I call a worker, “Um” as in, “Um, excuse me? Could I have my check, please? Thank you.”
Permensoe you seem to be implying that the wearing of the name tag is a voluntary act by the employee when it most often is not.
Except that in almost every case it is not a matter of me deciding to put this wonderful little piece of plastic on, it is the decision of a manager or business owner that I work for. The business reason for providing that little piece of plastic is so customers can identify a particular employee to compliment, condemn, or locate for a future transaction.
Customers have a choice to ignore the information on the tag, employees generally are not given the choice to wear or not wear it.
Only if I’m trying to hit on her.
That’s my suave Latin charm talking.
Sure, but the rules of society limit the scope of that interaction. I can’t, for instance, say, “Hey Jim, thanks for helping me with this TV. Say, do you have a girlfriend?” That question crosses the line from “normal conversation with a stranger” to “overly familiar.” It’s creepy. The fact that your business transaction has caused you to interact doesn’t give you free reign to talk to him like you would a friend or colleague.
Or to use your eavesdropping example, let’s say you’re shopping in a store that doesn’t issue nametags, but you happen to hear one coworker call the other one Jim. Would you be in the clear to go up and call him Jim? Of course not, that’s creepy. You’re back in “overly familiar” territory.
So the only real question is “Does the mere presence of a nametag negate this existing rule concerning overly-familiar communication.” I’d argue that it doesn’t, and as evidence I’d point to the fact that most nametag wearers are not doing so voluntarily, and moreover they don’t like it when you use said nametags to refer to them in an overly familiar manner. This poll is my cite. The rules of society clearly still apply.