Can anbody drive in this town?

Does “Yours to discover” mean “yours to discover that this street is unexpectedly your turn so come to a complete halt in the left lane and maybe or maybe not wait for traffic to clear in the right lane before turning right”? Or possibly it means “yours to discover that a traffic signal means there is an intersection and come to a complete halt on a green light while contemplating what to do about it”? And does “Je me souviens” mean “don’t look at me, I don’t know how to drive either”?

I have never driven in a town with so many bad drivers as Ottawa. Never. Yes, the streets are poorly designed and poorly signed, and traffic lights operate at apparently random intervals as if controlled from an underground bunker by some poor soul with Parkinson’s, but still… I’ve been here 12 days, and I know my way around this town better than 50% of these idiots.

I thought that the opportunity to pull off stupid traffic moves would be understood and forgiven while I still have Colorado plates on my car, but nobody even notices my stunts with all the real dumbshits out there. Sheesh.

And, yes, I am an excellent driver. :stuck_out_tongue:

No, nobody in this town can drive. This morning a car made a left from the right-hand lane, across the center lane. It was a traffic police car.

You have obviously never driven in or around Atlanta, esp. the beltway loop. I drove through a dozen states on my recent vacation but never saw as many bad drivers as I did in Atlanta. Despite the cops being out in droves half of the motorists just kept blasting away at 85 or higher, often right past someone who had been pulled over. This after having driven through downtown Chicago’s highways, who were sedate by comparison.

And the other half slam on their brakes at the sight of a police car (or station wagon with a bike rack, or piece of cardboard box lying well off the side of the road) instantly slowing to 30mph, causing (or very nearly causing) a chain collision.

Ah, yes. Of course, everyone thinks they have the worst drivers in the world, but I think Atlanta has a serious chance at the title.

Hah. Try Montreal.

Je me souviens my ass - we don’t souviens we have turn signals.

Nah, I lived in Miami before moving here. Atlantans don’t know how good they have it.

In the world?

Saudi Arabia is bad, and that is compounded by the low density, making for high-speed fun. (I have encountered people going the wrong way in a traffic circle.)

Mexico City is bad, but then again, it is usually so crowded it hardly matters.

I must throw in a pitch for Chicago, where I’ve found the drivers to be generally better than I’ve found elsewhere – not good in an absolute sense, but better than other places.

Locally in Wisconsin, traffic circles have become inexplicably popular in the last several years. People have no real idea how to cope with them, and I have seen more than one circle with tire tracks straight through it (they tend to have little gardens planted within). There’s a suburb named Mount Horeb that has five traffic circles to wend through between the highway exit and the little downtown area. Sheesh!

In NYC anyone can drive. anyone. No license or insurance required.

I didn’t say legally. They just do.

I swore this OP was about Austin, Texas.

I’ve driven in LA, London, New York, Boston… the worst is here, folks. Even Kuala Lumpur was only marginally worse.

There’s no rhythm to Austin driving. You can encounter slowpokes doing 55 in the left lane, or speed demons doing 80 flashing their lights. Did I mention the penchant for passing on the right? This has happened to me at least ten times this week. And the tailgating…

People drive lousy all over. In our recent road trips, we learned that people don’t drive better in different places, they just do different stupid things.

We also learned that as bad as Calgary’s light system seems sometimes, it’s actually a fairly good one. Now, if we can just get Calgary’s city council to quit trying to make people stop using perfectly good roads - I’ve never met a major city as dedicated to closing/reducing roads as Calgary. And I’m not talking construction closures, either - they shut a road right off if people are using it too much.

I thinkJe me souviens” means “I don’t know where I’m going because I don’t live here either, dude! I’m from just over them yonder hills, from Quebec.” :p*

Or the equivalent in French, anyway…

And people can’t drive in Tel-Aviv, either. I’m starting to think it’s a global characteristic…

  • Yes, I know the Canadian Federal District abuts Quebec, but do Ottawa residents have Quebec license plates? Am I wrong in remembering that they don’t?

Ottawa’s in Ontario, but Hull, Quebec is across the river from Ottawa. There are a lot of people who live in Quebec and work in Ottawa.

Oh man, I feel for you. When I was a kid I used to ride my bike all over.

I expect it’s changed some, but Ottawa is the scene of my two meatiest interactions with motor vehicles. Can you still drive around the Canal Park area? When I was six my sister took me for a ride on the bike path and we got t-boned. For a little while, I flew like Superman. Got to ride in a Secret Service car, and at the hospital they made me into a mummy. Also, awesome stitches.

Then, when I was seven I was crossing a busy intersection to get to the corner grocer right across the street. A guy ran the red light and sideswiped me. Busted my collarbone and made me into a freakish robot kid for almost the whole summer.

God I miss that place.

Fuck-lanta, damned straight. I would call them shit-chucking apes, but then I know I would much rather have those shit-chucking apes behind the wheel then the automobile owner collective in Atlanta. I can only equate my experience in Atlanta behind the wheel to that of several scenes in The Road Warrior.

There’s no such thing as the “Canadian Federal District”. Ottawa is a city in Ontario.

I’d like to add, while I’m sitting here in this Starbucks waiting for the movers to show up at my storage unit to move the big stuff into my apartment that I finally found, the fucking movers who were supposed to show up at my storage unit at two fucking o’fucking-clock! The last time I communicated with the office, they are supposedly still coming, but who knows when? C’mon guys, all I need you to do is move the heavy stuff; the bulk of it is done. Just get my bed into my new home tonight, and I’ll be eternally gratefull.

I’d also like to add, the phone company, the internet company, and the cable company, just on general principles of failing to provide instant gratification.

Kudos to the library card people, who did provide instant gratification, and now I have books to read.

Agreed - you ventured into Montreal yet? It’s a whole new experience. Makes Ottawa seem positively genteel.

After your first few visits, you actually look forward to the adrenaline rush. There are no timid drivers there. You will start to appreciate the rhythm of traffic anarchy. Just don’t turn right on red.

A Secret Service car? Why would the US Secret Service (since there is no Canadian Secret Service, at least by that name) give you a ride in Ottawa?

Because he was like superman doncha know. Which means he went head first in to the pavement for truth justice and the American way!