The Jehovah’s Witnesses came calling on me today, trying thoughtfully to save my soul once again.
I’m in what I think is the majority who find this kind of intrusive, presumptuous and irritating.
My question is, does their door-to-door proselityzing * ever* work? Does anyone ever say, “Hey, you’ve made some really good points. I think I’m going to convert to your religion!” ?
Do they keep any stats?
“You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment.” - Bill Hicks
Do they keep any stats? I doubt it. I’m sure the party line would be…If we save one soul it’s all worth it.
Some faiths seem to believe that a bit of missionary outreach helps builds the character of their members as much as it brings in new people (seen any guys in white shirts on bicycles in your neighborhood, lately?).
I cut these people more slack than I do Cable and brush salesmen. Friendly but firm, no thanks, have a nice day.
Wonder how long before this topic goes to the Pit or GD.
I’ve read that only about one person visited in 1000 by the Mormons is converted. I suspect that the percentage is about the same for the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
read it and weep.
JWs really REALLY bother me - and i’m usually a pretty tolerant guy.
My office mate used to be a JV at a previous job and I found out some interesting facts. They get paid by the hour for their troubles by their Kingdom Halls. They never come alone. Besides the safety-in-numbers factor, (yes in certain Boros of NYC they move in fives), they are assigned so that the team members, preferably not knowing each other, can keep tabs on each other and not play hooky.
My friend was ‘senior’ in the echelons and offered to send some of her ‘junior’ brethren in the direction of anyone I chose.
You want some? There are even some Amway distributors dying to meet you …
I have a cousin who recently converted to Mormonism. She was approached by a door to door missionary. This cousin has a history of depression & eating disorders. Although she’s in her early 20’s, she can’t support herself and lives with her parents. She’s been on antidepressents for several years.
From my point of view, they preyed on a young, screwed up girl. I’m guessing that the bulk of the door to door type recruiting ends up in the same situation - they happen upon a needy person, and victimize them.
My question about Jehovah Witnesses is this (and I mean no disrespect by it): JW’s believe in the rapture. My understanding is that rapture means that when you die, your entire body goes to heaven–flesh, bones, blood…straight up to heaven. If they believe in this, how do they explain why bodies remain behind when other JW’s die?
As I understand it, the Rapture is when, at some point during the ‘End Times’ described in the book of Revelation, God bodily transports a certain number of his faithful into Heaven.
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TMR
I keep an old Viking war-helmet (not the NFL kind) and a goofy skull necklace in my hallway closet for JVs and Mormons. When I ID them in the peephole, I put them on and invite them in for some sharing of religious views.
They get to go first, they talk about the Watchtower or Book Of Mormon and I get to ramble on about The Sacred Stonehenge Oak and the Circle of Great Goat Sacrifice. I also have to stash the crucifix hanging over the door, because I’m really just a regular, everyday Catholic with a very twisted sense of humor :). I offer them coffee and try to be as pleasant as I can while regaling my victims with updates on the condition in Valhalla and how difficult it is to find good Valkyries to help with the slayings.
I seldom get return visits.
…send lawyers, guns, and money…
Warren ZevonI once heard that you could really freak out the JWs by inviting them in and asking them to pray with you.
Apparently, they’re not supposed to pray with anyone that isn’t part of their little club.
Is that true?
“You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment.” - Bill Hicks
Cops can keep it up for this sort of stuff. I used to mess with’em, but now I’m just politely negative (and my doorbell is broken - going on 10 years now).
Seriously, Wendell, do you really think it’s as high as one out a thousand? I’ve got no facts and figures, but it would surprise me if they truly had that high a “bag” rate.
And Athena, I think you’re on target - those they do “bag” are the ones they catch in strait times.
Of course any stats any of us outside their organization could get our hands on would be suspect. I think they probably pursue the course of weekend proseltyzing for a combined purpose of (most importantly) instilling and reinforcing in some members sense of duty to and reaffirmation of loyalty to the organization along with trolling for the weak of will who may be “bagged”.
From discussions elsewhere those: JW who come to your door are pretty much brainwashed and know the responses to give to everyday garden type civilians.
While Latter Day Saints go on missionary work for a year IIRC and then go home, the JW are professionals, go door to door all their religious lives.
And the JW keep records of times and visits - which streets were “done” - ask them not to come back and you might be lucky!
Are you driving with your eyes open or are you using The Force? - A. Foley
I think the JW interpretation of the Rapture is different than the fundamentalist Christian one. For one thing, JW’s believe Christ entered heaven in a spiritual body only- not a flesh-and-blood body. Earthly bodies are for living on earth; heavenly bodies are for living in heaven.
JW’s believe that only 144,000 will be chosen to reside in heaven. Those who don’t make the cut never get to heaven; instead they’ll be resurrected and live forever in an earthly paradise.
So, when you’re dead you’re just dead. Unless you’re one of the few chosen to rule in heaven, your soul dies with your body. Jehovah has a perfect memory, of course, so if he’s decided you’re good enough to receive eternal life he’ll simply recreate you at the Resurrection. If you’re not that good, you’re just gone; JW’s don’t believe in Hell.
Mormons came to my door the other day for the first time but I was too asleep to have my discussion with them that I’ve been planning for a long time! (It’s very long.)
I work third shift and was dead asleep when they knocked. I answered the door in only a t-shirt (no bra, panties, shorts, nothing. I sleep naked–they’re lucky I put on a shirt!) They asked me how I was doing and I said, “Well, I was asleep!” and they said, “Well, we will only take a minute!”
What is that??
I am standing in the doorway of my home, half-naked, trying to hold back a vicious-looking dog, telling them that they just woke me up and they still want to talk to me?
I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.
They get a free toaster or something for those they can convert.
If you don’t want to listen to them just say ’ Im not interested ’ when they come to the door. Some of the girls are really pretty.
Evilbeth, shoulda let the dog at them.
Wonder what would happen if the moment they identified themselves you started screaming,
“Out you demon spawn!” and invoking god’s protection.
Or invite them in for a threesome!
After living in Salt Lake for several years I realized that my dog never barked seriously at anyone but LDS missionaries. I think we were always polite (though often a bit cold, and the dog might have picked up on that).
But mostly I think it was the smell of brand-new Mr. Mac suits. (Sorry, inside joke for Utahns).
-andros-
They used to go thru the phone book trying to find TTY numbers, like mine. So they came to see me, two girls, both who knew sign language. They brought a video that was captioned for me to watch. I used to just love having them come by. I would ask them all sorts of questions, including some about sex & they answered them all.
They came around a lot. One time I put my hand on her shoulder & she got really really furious. tsk.
From a Mormon who served a full-time mission and who knocked on a few doors, let me add just a little:
Going door-to-door (we called it tracting – I guess from handing out tracts, the little pamphlets) is a last resort for missionaries when they don’t have anything else to do. Precisely because, as was noted above, it is very unproductive. Unfortunately for those of you who are sick to death of being solicited, it is not absolutely unproductive – it succeeds just often enough to keep it from dying out altogether.
We always kept a record of visits to avoid visiting the same place over and over again. (From my experience, your best way to avoid unwanted solicitations is to live someplace that’s hard to get to. When you’re on a bicycle you have to be pretty dedicated to go to the top of some big hill to go tracting.) It was always a little unnerving, sometimes downright scary, occasionally interesting, sometimes humorous. Most people aren’t interested (duh!) and are quick to tell you so. Most are polite, a few aren’t, but that’s only to be expected for an unwanted solicitation. There are a few people who aren’t really interested but who like to talk – they’ll usually invite you in and that was usually nice. Some people like to debate. Some people want to convince you you’re wrong.
There are certainly missionaries who are intrusive and pushy, and they can get carried away. Sometimes they get into a “salesman” mode and overdo it trying to get in the door, as evilbeth noted. (BTW, they would have been in huge trouble had they actually come in in those circumstances.) Sometimes they do this in the (IMO) mistaken belief that that’s the way to reach people. Don’t forget that for the most part these are naive, very young men, some of them straight off the farm.
On the whole, however, in my experience most missionaries are aware of how annoying it is to be woken up, or called from the dinner table, or just interrupted. That’s why they don’t go tracting very often.
At least that’s how we did it 25 years ago in New Zealand.
he sleeps on that pile/of newspapers/in the corner/and when he
takes off his/shoes you cannot/smell his breath
“king nicky”, archyology
Don Marquis
I said the dog was vicious looking–if I had let her go she would have either hidden under the table or licked them to death. I did, however, chastise her soundly after they left explaining once again that those are the people to eat–not my my friends! 
I do have to say though that it did take some bravery on their part to venture into my neck of the woods. This here is Pentacostal, snake-handling, gun-toting country. Folks don’t take kindly to anyone they don’t know knocking on their door much less people from them “weirdo cult” religions!
I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.