Can I patent a bodily function?

Suppose I’m a horrible mutant who produces a certain misfolded protein. Now, imagine I’m attacked by a vicious toddler who happens to bite me. This toddler ingests this protein, and is found to be cured of some random disease. Let’s say cystic fibrosis. (yes, i understand how this is impossible, but let’s say for argument’s sake that it happens.)
Obviously, scientists could try and synthesize the protein that I’m producing. But could I patent it, since I didn’t actually invent it, I just produce it? Are substances produced by the body in this way patentable?

It’s already being done

So if they patent the gene for brown eyes, can I be sued for patent infringement?

Only if you start growing brown eyes in a Petri dish.

I’m totally patenting pooping. None of you can use the toilet without paying me.

Can I patent a bodily function?

I’ve got dibs on borborygmi.

Oh, those folded paper swans are so cool.

ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?!

waits for legions of patent and trademark lawyers to descend