Can I teach myself how to finish something?

I have a problem. I cannot make a long-term commitment to any activities I take on.

Any new hobby or activity I try to take on, I cannot finish. I’ll get interested in something, turn all my attention to it, concentrate fully on it, and then within a pretty set time frame, lose all interest and forget about it.

I read in spurts. For 2 months, I’ll read every book I can find, and then just stop. I’ll pick up a hobby like RC Car racing and spend a lot of money just in time to get bored with it. Recently I got excited about camping, bought all this equipment, and then don’t feel like finding the time to use it. I go up and down with hobbies constantly.

My biggest issue is exercise though. I started jogging just about two months ago. I went all out for 3 weeks. By the fourth, I’d cut down to jogging 3 days a week. By the sixth week, I was lucky to go once. Now, I’ve cut it out all together. I really need to find a motivation. Yeah, I want to lose weight. That inspires me for a couple days but it can’t keep me going. I don’t have any friends that I could work out with…

I think that learning how to stick with something until it’s finished is something you are taught during the early years. Unfortunately, that was one of the few things lacking from my childhood. Unless I feel a responsibility, like to my job, I just can’t finish things.

Any thoughts or suggestions on how to train yourself at this point?

I find making plans that involve a commitment with others works well for me. If I make plans with others to jog or whatever then I feel I have to go.

I find things that I do alone are the ones that I tend to drop when I get tired. You don’t even want to hear how many started and unfinished projects I have.

I used to have a problem finishing things but then

It’s a matter of figuring out your work pattern and deciding what your goals are.

I have the same problem, one I’ve devoted several decades to figuring out. What seems to work for me is to break the project down into small, definable goals (like the novel which I’ve broken down into about 30 scenes; each scene could be written in a day).

Second, is to concentrate on accomplishing that goal within a deadline, say a week or a few days. (No, not the novel, but I write book reviews and I’m now doing a travel article that has to be done within the week. I’m typing the notes right now.)

Third, resist the temptation to switch to something else just because I’m at a rough point. I will do ANYTHING to get over that hump, including lateral thinking, or just sitting at the keyboard pounding away at nothing. I know from my experience that once I get started, I’m fine. But knowing is not the same as doing. So I have to try a number of tricks to get into it. Some writers, for example, will stop a story in mid-sentence; others re-read the previous day’s work as a way of getting into the flow.

Fourth, recognize what you do to sabotage your efforts. In my case, it’s reading the SDMB! Surfing is a considerable time-suck for me. So is any other distraction I’ll indulge in (except for doing something physical. If I’ve been working for an hour or so, I’ll pick up the guitar and play, or get a snack, anything to get moving).

Fifth, when having trouble, when you’re tempted to do something else, tell yourself “focus,” or “get back on track,” or even “get to work.” It’s almost as if speaking the words acts as a reprogramming device. Most of the time, it actually works.

But working toward small goals seems to help a lot.

One other thing: it helps to have friends. They can be up when you’re down, and you’ll help them when they’re down. If you look at the lives of any creative artist, they worked with other people. Worked, played, talked, they moved among their own kind, competed against them, laughed with them, and shared (and stole) ideas from each other. You need to surround yourself with people who can share these entheusiams, and I think you’ll be amazed at the difference.

Thank you, thank you; copies of my book “Self-Help or Die” are available out in the lobby. Drive safe.

i have the exact same problem. Being a lazy mare I have found an excellant solution to the problem - never start anything. :wink:

Some good advice to help you accomplish ANY goal, right there.

I would also add that you should reward yourself when you make progress. For example, if you reach one of your smaller goals by the deadline you imposed on yourself, treat yourself to a bit of something you enjoy-- a half hour more TV time, a new DVD, or some ice cream. Be careful you don’t overdo the reward, and be sure you only reward yourself after you reach your goal.

Done right, nothing works better than positive reinforcement.

I know just what you’re talking ab

Ok, seriously (and this is a good refresher for myself),
[ul][li]Get an organizer/calendar and list what you intend to do for the day (week, whatever works best) on it. This way, you have a way to see how far you’re falling behind (I’m always behind, since I always put too much on the list.[/li]
[li]Make public announcements about the stuff you need to finish. Public embarrassment is a great motivator.[/li]
Put specific limits on the things that waste your time. For example, I was surfing until the video I was watching was over (Ran-beautiful but tedious.) The video is over; this is my last post (Goodnight.)[/ul]

This is a good idea only if you’re the type that keeps a calendar/organizer to begin with. Lots of folks don’t. If you don’t keep organized this way, it’s impractical to make yourself start doing so to help you keep track of the one skill you really do want to develop. There’s no reason to make things twice as challenging as they need to be.

AudreyK, good point on keeping things simple. I should have pointed out that my “personal organizer” usually consists of notes scribbled on the back of ATM receipts.

I usually know what I need to do, but putting things in writing keeps me on track. The idea is to start making time-based committments, not to further complicate your life.

I, too, suffer from this problem.

I’ve often wondered if this is a sign of ADD.

I’ve been reluctant to ask my doctor about ADD because I’m not sure it’s an actual condition or merely an excuse.

I started a self-help program to improve my ability to finish proj. . .
Whooooa . .

Look!!!:o
There’s a thread on porn movies in IMHO!!!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=75607

Given the topic of this thread, I wonder if Rhetoric will be back to read these replies. :slight_smile:

Your travel article is going to be a Straight Dope Message Board post? :boggle:

Quite. He/She says he/she can get stuff done at work, it is the hobbies that are killing him/her.

As far as the hobbies go, it looks like he/she like the collecting and preparing of the hobby materials and not the actual doing. Maybe should take up collecting as a hobby?

Jois

This is more a request for behavioral advice than a question with a factual answer, so I’m moving it to the IMHO forum. Jill

To me it sounds like you’re jumping in too deep from the very get-go, thus setting yourself up for failure when you find you can’t sustain 24/7 interest. For example… if you take up jogging, why do you have to jog every day? Start out jogging twice a week. Find a partner or group to jog with – this is incredibly important to keep on track. I’ve read that it takes 6 weeks to form an excercise “habit” so the most important thing is get into a routine that fits your lifestyle, and stick to it religiously in the first 6 weeks.

For some people, setting a goal keeps them on track. Set near term goals (example: go on weekend camping trip with friends in nearby state park) plus a long term goal that is meaningful to you (example: spend a week in Large National Park of your choice). Again plan these activities with friends. (Camping alone is not the greatest idea for an inexperienced camper anyway).

To me the thing to focus on is the reason you wanted to start the project in the first place.

If something is important enough to begin, you must remind yourself that the way to keep following throu