Ever since I wrote to one in California asking about some details on worship, I get letters twice year soliciting donations to them. I haven’t given yet, but I feel certain that they would let me come in, if only to encouyrage me.
To be honest, I’m Hindu, and I wouldn’t even try to go into a Jain temple. Much too different from the rest of us Hindus, I guess. It would never occur to me.
Slight tangent: with Islam, it will depend. Some mosques have tours and “open” hours, but many will NOT let you (as an outsider) come in to watch an actual service.
Not to mention you do have to sit separately, as a woman. I’ve been in plenty of mosques as a child.
This is a bit unusual; although Jains disdain an astonishing number of practices (killing bugs, eating onions, drinking cold water… yes, I’m serious) they’re usually the most welcoming people imaginable. I’ve visited several Jain temples (and I’m not a Jain).
Bonus: they believe in The Force! (They call it karma, but it isn’t the same as the Hindu concept of Karma, and that doesn’t really mean what Westerners understand it to mean anyway.)
Most mandirs in the US will be like this by their very nature - followers of the more conservative Hindu ideologies (VHP, for example) tend not to leave India in the first place.
The one thing I’d advise you to be clear about, dangermom, is to let them know that you’re there to learn, rather than for entertainment. They’ll like that a lot.
Couple of little things: remove your shoes as soon as you get in the door, or preferably (if the steps are clean) beforehand. There will be a pretty obvious de-shoeing area, probably to your immediate right.
When you’re greeted, put your palms together in front of your chest, pointing upward, bow your head slightly, and say namaskar (“nuhmuskarr”). It’s a sort of general greeting, but also a sign of respect. (It literally means “I bow to you”, so if your personal beliefs prohibit it, you can just do the hand/inclined head thing)
She could just say “Namaste”; why give her the more formal term? I have said Namaste all of my life and never Namaskar.
Er… why not? IMHO, if you’re visiting a place of worship, or anywhere fairly unfamiliar for that matter, it’s generally best to err on the side of formality.
I’m surprised that you’ve never said namaskar. I was always instructed very specifically about when to namaskar (anybody older than me, and anyone performing puja, aarti, etc.)
While we’re on the subject, why salwar kameez and not a sari?
ETA: This is an awesome idea (and general habit you’ve got going on, dangermom) - my mother took me to a Buddhist monastery, sent me to Jain and Sikh youth camps, and to Anglican schools, and I thought it was great.
Punjabi people don’t really wear saris. I mean, we do, but our cultural clothing is salwar kameez. I like saris, but they are a pain in the ass to bind correctly. You try it and get back to me. I’m sureyou’d look cute in a sari.
And no, I don’t say Namaste. I don’t like Namaskar, it sounds way too stilted and uncomfortable to me.
Oh, no question. 
Americans (and English people) seem to like the idea of wearing a sari much more, though. My sister-in-law and her mother both chose to wear saris for a blessing-puja-thing (of her wedding to my brother) although salwar were offered. My girlfriend has worn saris a couple of times, too. I suppose I’m just more familar with saris, though. My mother never wore salwar until recently (her second husband is Multani).
I suppose it depends on how modestly the OP usually dresses, in the end.
Of course, as you say, I have no idea whether they’re comfortable or not- but I bet they’re less itchy than a sherwani.
Is this a common feeling among your family and friends?
Sigh I’m sorry to report that we still haven’t actually made it down there–I’m having the craziest month ever, and we were supposed to have a new (reliable) car by now, and we don’t. I’m still gonna do it, though! As soon as I can!
Although I would love to wear a sari, I’d have to get a longer choli. Midriff-baring is not cool for us, and no one wants to see mine anyway, after two monster-sized babies. I’d go with a salwar kameez if I could wear one, but as above, I’d have to get one made. This is, btw, an area that is largely Punjabi, so I presume that salwar kameez would be the way to go anyway.
Good luck!
Aw, thanks! I like 'em pretty well.
Here is how you wear a sari.
You put on the blouse. Then the petticoat.
Then, you take six or nine yards of * sari* .
You wrap it around your waist once. You have to make sure the pallu, the fine border, is facing the right direction.
Then you knot it in the front or some other way hold it.
Then you carefully fold it in pleats, over your hand, tucking them into the front of your petticoat to make the usually very elaborate"fall" the right way. This has to be done just right, so you don’t trip over it, but also so that the front of it falls just a little bit lower than your ankles.
When you finish doing this, you wrap the end of the *pallu *. If you are Punjabi, generally it will come around your waist, then over your right shoulder from front to back. Then you decide if you want to pin it or not.
Gujrati style, or reverse style as we call it means you go around your waist and bring it over the left shoulder from the back.
Fairly easy with practice, but difficult if you’re not used to it.
Here is how you wear a *salwar kameez *.
Put on the pants. Tie the *nada *, or if you have elastic in it, that’s easy.
Put the top on.
Put the veil on, pin it in place.
Honestly, my favorite are lenghas but they tend to be a little fancy.
Yes. I’m from a very liberal branch of Hinduism. Where I grew up, also, most kids didn’t speak a word of Hindi, so I was quite unusual that I greeted everyone with my hands together and a namaste. I was one of the very few kids that followed the old ways at all.
Just to add my comments –
In my experience, anyone can walk into a Hindu temple without problems. Be sure to leave your shoes at the designated space.
I wouldn’t worry too much about dressing up. Definitely don’t wear a sari unless you’re used to it. You can tell by looking at someone whether she is used to wearing a sari. It just looks awkward. I would also not recommend you wear your “Sunday best.” You’ll find people wearing all kinds of clothes. Safest to shoot for the middle.
Women should cover their heads. It might be useful to take a scarf for this purpose.
In general, specific ceremonies conducted by a priest are fee-based services. You might even find a schedule of fees near the entrance.
Those who are not there for fee-based services may approach the idols and behave respectfully. You don’t have to pray or bow or anything unless you want to. Just don’t make a racket. If you like you may just observe the people around you and follow along.
If your interest is in specifically learning something about Hindu beliefs and practice, you could approach a priest and start talking. Generally, they are friendly and helpful. However, be warned that a lot of Hindu temple priests in the United States don’t speak English very well.
Also, be warned that when it comes to HInduism, pretty much anything someone says is simultaneously correct and incorrect. I’ve heard Shashi Tharoor say something to the effect that “For every true statement that can be made about India, the exact opposite is also true.” That applies to Hinduism as well. So take everything you hear with a grain of salt.
Basically, Hinduism is not a dogmatic religion. So long as one is born into a Hindu family, one need not subscribe to any particular belief or practice in order to be a legitimate Hindu.
Also, if your interest is in learning aobut mainstream Hinduism, it’s probably safest to go to a mainstream Hindu temple, rather than to a temple that focuses on a personality cult, such as Sai Baba or the Hare Krishnas.
Heh. Where I grew up (Somerset, England) there were no Hindi speakers at all - we were one of three Hindu families in a town of 40,000 people, and the other two ran restaurants.
I don’t speak a word of Hindi or any of the regional languages beyond stock phrases: “khanna buddhiya hai”, “ap kaise haim”, “baas”, etc.
I even learned to read and write it, which was even more rare and “weird”. But I loved it, and still read and write…now a lot of my contemporaries speak to me about how they wished they had learned. But a lot of this was probably because English was my first language. I was the only one of my age group that had actually been born in India and learned to speak there first.
I admit, ascenray, that when I did go to the rather large Hare Krishna temple in…PA? It was gorgeous. I have never seen such a beautiful temple.
Do you know what kind of people run the Golden Temple in W. VA? I went there when I was around 10 or so. I remember they had a “wedding” for Radha and Krishna and even at the time I remember it bothering me because they never actually wed.
Yes, the Hare Krishnas are well-funded. But their doctrine and practices are not representative of mainstream Hinduism.
That’s the Hare Krishna HQ. I’ve been there too.
No, I knew that, but as long as the OP keeps them in mind, it’s not harmful to visit one.
Thanks!
There isn’t a Hare Krishna temple around here, but if I ever go to Utah and have time, I want to go to the temple in Spanish Fork, I mean, look at it! And you get lunch afterwards.
(When I was in college, one of my TAs was a Hare Krishna. He invited all of us to this place for dinner after finals. I mainly remember the incredible food and flirting a lot with a guy who was a Saivite, but the TA also put on a video he had been in! He was walking around explaining HK to the camera. Also he had two adorable little girls who showed us their gorgeous picture book of Lord Krishna.)
So I do know the difference, anyway. And also I know about Rajneeshis and TM. 
Good, because when people ask me if I have anything to do with them, I want to run away.