I feel this argument is kind of a snippy generational thing. Like, older people had fewer choices when they were younger and they get pissed off when younger people choose differently. Neither choice is wrong. My mom had 2 kids and a college degree under her belt when she was my age. I feel she doesn’t take me seriously (at least in part) because I don’t have kids yet (or maybe ever) and I dropped out of college. And sometimes I come home and play video games and eat chocolate ice cream for dinner if I feel like it.
Not all of these things are inconsequential though, so maybe it’s irrelevant to the topic.
I’d say in general, to be an adult, you need to be mature enough to function independently and responsibly as a peer with other adults in your society, whatever and wherever that may be. Or have functioned independently as a peer with other adults, in the case of the extremely elderly.
Independence and responsibility are the two operative ideas here. Someone who’s both dependent on others and not responsible for themselves or anything else aren’t really adults in my view. This doesn’t mean that I’m throwing handicapped people needing assistance under the bus here; they can be responsible and as independent as they’re able, and that’s fine.
But if someone’s 25, living at their parents’ house without a job, and leeching off their parents without any real goals or plan, then I wouldn’t call them adults, and I certainly wouldn’t consider them a peer in the way I would an 18 year old with a job and their own place.
Those aren’t inconsequential things. The OP is on about making such judgments based on what kind of perfume someone wears, that sort of stuff.
To the OP - the answer is pretty simple: some people are overly judgmental about just about anything. If you want to see that in action, become a new parent. Everything and anything to do with childcare results in you being worse than Hitler, if you do it differently than some folks.
Yep, that’s it, Malthus. I’m totally clear on the big picture of what makes someone an adult, it was just this silly nitpickery that I was curious about. But due to several excellent answers (and I think Rachell has the right idea too, although the person I seem to recall having done it the most recently here on the Dope was on the youngish side), I think I grok the mindset better now. Thanks all!
To some degree yes. You don’t get to be an adult based on age alone. It has to come from skills and life experiences. Some 15 year olds in the 3rd world (and everywhere else) are functional adults and a few 40 year olds in the U.S. or Europe haven’t made it yet and may never despite no obvious mental or physical limitations. Let’s put it this way, if I take anyone on an excursion outside of their home and I have to babysit them in any way to make it work, they are functionally children whether they are 6 or 60. The 6 year olds are usually easier to work with because they are at least used to listening to teachers at school. It is fine if you don’t understand something, but you can’t act lack a troupe of dazed and confused monkeys every time you leave your comfort zone.
I see what you’re saying, and you’re right. I don’t think wearing Axe body spray makes you a child, or even childish, but it does make you smell like a teenager.
Same goes for people who dress inappropriately for their ages- regardless of how hot you may be at 47, you shouldn’t try and dress like you’re 22. It doesn’t make you a child, but just makes you look silly and a bit pathetic.
Adults support themselves by holding down a job and not living with their parents. If you do this, you are an adult. If not, you are living a child’s life.
Jesus, I can’t even begin to reply to that in any non-Pit language. Third-worlders are “to some degree” children because they can’t drive or travel? I don’t fucking believe it.
I think the mostly American population with this board have mentioned that living with your parents makes you a child. I’m American, but ethically Asian. I have no problems with adults living with their parents, its absolutely inconsequential to me. You could be 50 and I wouldn’t judge you as a person for it
I think in a few short years, more Americans are going to start seeing this as inconsequential, as it becomes harder for one to obtain a good job after college.
It is part of the process by which more and more things that used to be seen as consequential for this issue have become inconsequential. There is no doubt your boss is in the minority now, most people no longer see having kids as a necessary life stage for maturity.
Sooner or later, I have no doubt, all those people saying that having a job and living on your own are what make a person “adult” will be seen just like your boss - a bit of an old fogey at best, insulting at worst.
I remember reading a book about life in Ontario in the late 19th century, and then the division was between people who had married and those who had not - a guy of 16 who had married was “Old Man Joe” and the head of a household, while a guy of 60 who had not was just “Joe, one of the boys” (a similar system, but even harsher, worked for women).
It seems, in our culture at least, to be an inextorable march towards erasing such distinctions, moving them from the “consequential” category to the “inconsequential” one, whether they are good ones or not.
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever grouped people into “adult” and “not adult” categories. That seems very not adult. That being said, pretty much every day I judge people on how well they match up to my personal rules. People who Get It, and people who don’t. The less overlap we have, the greater the chance we aren’t going to get along.
Some transgressions are worse than others. If you’re the type of dude who wears tubesocks with sandals and pleated pants, we’re not going to be BFFs but might have some things in common to talk about. If you’re over twenty-five and live with mom and dad, you don’t show up on radar. If you work in certain professions/voice certain opinions/demonstrate certain behaviors, I don’t want anything to do with you.
Egads. I’m so glad that, approaching the 50 year mark that I am, I couldn’t care less about how other people dress. You can wear your panties on your head, and as long as I find you interesting / fun / kind / happy, we’re good.
And Hip, I like that too. If I ever begin to act my age, just somebody shoot me.
My sister gives me “Adult Points” when I do something responsible, mature. For example, decorative pillows earned me some adult points recently, as I normally never had those for my bed. I lost some adult points for buying math mats with a rubber backing though (because they are cheap and tactless, as opposed to higher end bath mats).
Seinfeld, Friends, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, a dozen other sit-coms, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, Swingers, Van Wilder, Super Troopers, Old School, Failure to Launch, The 40 Year Old Virgin, The Hangover, Role Models, Knocked Up, the Five Year Engagement, This is 40, any theatrical release American Pie film after the second, basically any film staring any combination of Will Farrell, Vince Vaughn, Adam Sandler, Seth Rogan, Paul Rudd, Seann William Scott, any Wilson brother, any Broken Lizard film, more than 2 actors from This is The End or anything involving Judd Apatow.
If Hollywood is to be believed, my generation (anyone in their mid 30s to mid 40s) suffers from a chronic case of “not wanting to grow up-itis”. Indeed, being 41 myself, it’s actually fascinating looking back on all these films and seeing how the age for “getting too old for this shit” keeps increasing.