Are there any legal restrictions on the types of requirements you can place in a prenuptual agreement? For example, could you add a ‘wifely duties’ clause for things like housekeeping, preparing meals, doing dishes, and sexual services??
Thanks.
Are there any legal restrictions on the types of requirements you can place in a prenuptual agreement? For example, could you add a ‘wifely duties’ clause for things like housekeeping, preparing meals, doing dishes, and sexual services??
Thanks.
It will be much, much less expensive to simply hire a housekeeper and keep dating. Trust me on this.
I just…
I can’t…
what the…
:: shakes head…moves on::
You can certainly put this in your prenuptial agreement, assuming you can agree it (which strikes me as unlikely).
But you couldn’t enforce it.
A prenuptial agreement is a contract that specifies, basically, who gets what in the event of divorce or the death of a spouse. I don’t think the contract even comes into play until divorce or death.
Of course, I’m not a lawyer.
By the way, why would housekeeping, peparing meals, etc. be wifely duties?
I’d have to think you can put anything you want into a pre-nuptial agreement. The other person certainly doesn’t have to sign it. If I wanted to include “must change the cat’s litter box 4x a day,” I certainly could - and she certainly could (and would) say, “Uh, no.”
(By “anything” I mean anything that’s not illegal, such as “must promise to kill off mother within 30 days of marriage” or some such nonsense.)
It’s not really the kind of thing that would go in a pre-nuptial agreement. You do know that refusal to have sex is a basis for fault divorce. Once divorce proceedings commenced, the pre-nup would kick in to say how the property would be divided.
What you are talking about is terms of the marriage, that is - the wedding vows. Not a prenup (which, as stated before, is an agreement about what to do with property etc. in event of a divorce).
You want to include that stuff in your wedding vows? Sure, go ahead. See if she says, ‘I do’. See if the priest/rabbi/etc even lets you. Be prepared for a mighty interesting homily if they do let you. Be prepared for people at the reception to be betting on the duration of the marriage - counting in weeks.
Phew. Is this a personal question, or an academic one? I hope it is academic. If it is personal - If you really don’t think you can trust your needs to be met without clauses like that, why the heck would you consider marrying at all? And why would you think that those specifics are essential to your happiness? She could promise to cook, but be a terrible cook. She could promise to do the dishes, but do it on her schedule instead of yours (nearly never, perhaps?). She could promise sex, but be indifferent to it, leaving you frustrated and lonely despite the scheduled activity. Get a maid, and work on the relationship - maybe you’ll get what people usually really need - love and care and intimacy and mutual respect, from which will grow a mutual assignment of duties, based on the skills and talents and preferences of each party for the good of both.
As for vows of that nature, the more you specify, the more loopholes you generate. My mom (a retired minister) had a couple who insisted on including that she would bring him coffee in bed every morning. This is a VOW, folks. She promises to faithfully bring him coffee in bed every blessed morning, regardless of whether she has a broken leg, morning sickness, or the flu. If she fails, she is (cue booming voice of God) BREAKING HER MARRIAGE VOW. Holy flying sh*t! But she could pour it in his lap, scalding hot, and still be not breaking her vows. Hmmm. (She eventually convinced them to include their ‘vows’ as a reading instead of actual vows…)
Which would you rather have - a vow that requires you love, respect, care for, and honor each other, or one that requires tasks be done on a particular schedule, regardless of how they are done, with what love, attitude, or regard? Go for the principles of the marriage, and leave the details to be worked out as you go. The process is fluid, and changes often for many people. If you don’t think you can work it out on your own, do what my dad did with his latest (and so far, successful) marriage - start with couples counseling IMMEDIATELY. He has the couselor on retainer, and whenever they can’t work things out, back they go. It works amazingly well.
I personally like the simplicity of the Quaker vows - no loopholes. “I take thee to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful wife/husband, so long as we both shall live.” No outs. No specifics, but boy, I’ll take loving and faithful over ‘doing the dishes, and sex at least once a week’.
Hey, this is America. You can enter into a contract to do anything, so long as it’s not illegal or against public policy.
Sure, you could draft a contractual clause that would require the performance of what you are calling “wifely duties.” I see no reason it would not be enforceable. You could have an enforcement clause that provided for forfeiture of property rights for failure to fulfill the obligations.
Now, could you get any sane woman to sign such an agreement? I don’t know, but I’d love to be there when you try. That ought to be good for a laugh.
And yes, these obligations could also be made part of a pre-nup, with a provision for forfeiture of property rights for failure to fulfill the obligations.
Of course, enforcement would still be problematic. You can bet it would devolve into a “he said - she said” swearing match.
For the record, this is just a hypothetical question. I’m not getting married. I just wanted to know how the law works.
Thanks.
PHEW! You had me scared, there.
Wonder if a clause for services would bring wage and hour laws into play?
Tax laws?
Prenups for “wifely duties” would be especially usefull for aging billionaires marrying playboy bunnies, to insure that they hold up to their end of the bargain.
There was a case like this profiled on a tv magazine show a couple of years back. The prenup had clauses for just about everything from sex to filling up the car’s gas tank. They had some legal experts on the show who opined that the pre-nup was not enforceable but I can’t remeber why.
What if you happen to belong to a religion that doesn’t have marriage vows in the service, or have a civil ceremony?
>> Prenups for “wifely duties” would be especially usefull for aging billionaires marrying playboy bunnies, to insure that they hold up to their end of the bargain.
You mean she wants to insure he will perform? Because that’s the difficult part.
Such a contract would be unenforceable. Forcing someone to have sex is called rape. Forcing someone to perform free labor is called slavery. Both are illegal.
uh, chula - you may wish to review the law where you live.
in much of the US, it is legally impossible for a man to rape his wife.
this is why there are (in a few states) “spousal rape” laws, to enable prosecution in such cases.
welcome to the real world
This isn’t exactly true. Forcible rape of a spouse is a crime in all 50 states.
However, I believe that quite a few states (around 30) assume spousal consent to sex under conditions where consent would not be assumed in another person. For example, a husband could not be prosecuted for having sex with his wife if she were unconscious or otherwise mentally impaired.