Argghhh I obviously suck at explaining myself. Blame it on lack of coffee.
I wasn’t talking about a particular case. I merely pointed out that rape is different to other personal attacks in the fact that it is the only one in which the perp may try to convince himself, believe or argue that the victim asked for it or enjoyed it. That based on the fact, that unlike a stab wound, sex is pleasurable when done consensually.
And about women wanting to be raped, pls. don’t tell me that you’ve never heard anyone saying that. Of course I know it is BS but some people do think it is true.
Was what happened her fault? Mostly. (The guy should have known better too, but in your hypothetical I’d say he should bear very little blame.) But provided the woman in your example got drunk all on her own and hadn’t been slipped any extra alcohol or drugs without knowing it then I don’t think what you described constitutes rape, so it’s not a case of the victim being at fault in a raping.
And Bio, I sense a hidden agenda in your posts. Excuse me if I am wrong. If what you are trying to explain is that the victim is not always a female, you won’t find anyone here arguing that. A man can be a rape victim, the perp can be another man or a woman. And yes, I think that a man can be raped by another woman and that a woman can be raped by another woman (introduce any combination here). Anytime a sexual act is impossed on an unwilling (redundance on purpose) victim it IS rape. And it will never be the victims’s fault, no matter the victim’s or the perp’s gender.
Nope, no hidden agenda. I was merely trying to make the point that it was at least partially my fault for what happened. The key points are that 1) I knew that she would try something and 2) I knew I would be in a situation where I couldn’t stop her…
Actually now that I think more carefully about it, my point #1 does not support my argument. I realized that it would NOT be her fault if the situation was reversed. I must have a little bit of that psychological guilt victims get sometimes.
And now that I think about my point #2 I realize that it does not support my argument either. My point #2 is more about what rape is, and that “Sexual Remorse” is not rape and doesn’t r.
Oops. Didnt’ mean to post that yet, here’s the continuation:
My point #2 is more about what rape is, and that “Sexual Remorse” is not rape and doesn’t this doesn’t have anything to do with the fault of the victim.
Now that I have cut both legs out from underneath me, I will crawl back into the shadows to lurk some more.
Kinda confused about what you are trying to say. If you are saying that no girl wants to be raped, I disagree.
I had a GF once (VERY into the S&M scene) that had rape fantasies. She even asked me to rape her once and made up a whole Role Playing scenario she wanted me to act out. I was too afraid to do it, plus I knew I wouldn’t like it at all.
I had a friend’s GF once that also claimed to have rape fantasies.
Then there is the whole S&M scene where it all is pretty much “Virtual Rape”. (yes I know it is all consented but it is still rape-like) stumbles back into the shadows
Reverse the genders in that scenario and read it again.
Then tell me if your gut reaction was that the girl was ‘raped’. Because I’ve heard that situation described by more than one woman as her being ‘raped’ by some guy.
Nope, rape fantasies and rapes are two seperate animals. Your girlfriend, I warrent, did not want to be raped. She wanted to play rape, with a partner of her choice. She gave full and enthuastic consent- to you at the time you two were dating.
I dont think any court in this nation would consider that rape. I dont know of any statutory law that prevents a woman from sex while being drunk coz if there were, I’d be in a whoooole lot of trouble now. Since the court will find no rape, she isnt a victim and that is her fault.
Like another thread I think the word rape has changed over the years. It used to be if you heard that (so and so) was raped you though how horrible and had images of some guy or guys beating, stripping and (well you know). Now if you hear that (so and so) was raped you think what happened?
Big difference, and really no surprise as rape can be so many things now that it was never before. This could range to regrets the next morning to ‘all sex is rape’ that some feminist support (but are now backtracking and denying saying it).
Date rape has come into the limelight which makes daterape seem worst (they is seemed before it was called daterape) but at the same time diluted the meanign of rape.
Just an aside. If someone has sex with you while your sleeping and you later are told about it and have no problems with it, is it rape?
A fantasy is just that – a fantasy. Maybe this woman enjoyed imagining being raped or pretending to be raped, but that is not the same as actually wanting to be raped. Wanting to be raped for real is a logical contradiction, since if you want something then you’re willing to have it happen, and sex with a truly willing adult of normal and unimpaired mental capacity is not rape.
I am at loss here. Could you pls. quote the post you are responding to.
What scenario catsix?
Pls. notice that I am not a mental health professional nor do I claim to speak for all women, but I think the case you describe above has nothing to do with rape. Role-playing is not rape. Convincing your SO to do it is not rape, it is just a game.
Than it’s a prison you’ll be a-goin. Do a quick google search. The laws vary from state to state but the general consensus is that “a person under the influence of alchohol cannot give consent”.
Now as a practical matter, I don’t believe that they consider it to be rape if you both have a couple of drinks while on a date and go back to her place for some good lovin" It does mean that you could be arrested and charged if you:
a) use alchohol (or any other drug) to incapacitate someone so you can have sex with them
b) have sex with some girl who is passed out on your couch or incoherant.
Alright, an anti-drug commercial just popped into my head. In this commercial, it appears that the people are at someone’s house, smoking weed. The guy sets his joint down on the table, then goes over the the girl. The camera focuses on the joint on the table, but you can hear the girl say, “no” rather weakly, and the guy saying, “shhhh.” Then the commercial is saying that drugs can cause you to make bad decisions and whatnot.
My question is, in the situation shown in the commercial, would the girl be at all to blame? I mean, obviously the guy was the aggressor, so most of the fault lies with him; however, the girl did go to this party and did use drugs there, which in a way caused it to happen. Would she be at all to blame?
