There seem to be a multiplicity of threads about the election. I apologize if I’m posting some of this in the wrong one.
1. With regard to the media calling Florida for Gore at about 8:00 p.m.:
Let’s all go find out who was responsible for that and give them a good slapping around. Man, when they called Florida, Michigan, and Pennsylvania for Gore, I knew he had it in the bag. I was practically singing “Happy Days Are Here Again!”. That was just cruel.
2. With regard to the Palm Beach County ballot mix-up:
A. Let’s all go give Theresa LaPore a good slapping around too.
B. That’s what comes of relying completely on the geezer vote to put you over the top. There was a pretty long line when I went to vote, but I still took a minute to pull my little punch-card out and verify that the squares I’d punched out matched up with who I thought I was voting for–and I voted for Gore in Georgia, which means that–at least as far as the Presidential election was concerned–I already knew I might just as well have set fire to my ballot right there in the voting booth.
3. This whole election is clear proof that the Ann Landers/Dear Abby twins and Paul Harvey are the secret puppetmasters who control the world.
Now, no one will dare stand against them when they re-run their “Did you know that a single vote once kept Uzbek from becoming the official language of the United States?” stories.
4. Weren’t there serious news stories about how the Bush campaign had “contingency plans” in case they won the popular vote but lost the electoral vote?
I swear I read that in that eventuality the Bush campaign had plans to lobby the members of the Electoral College to pretty please vote for George W. anyway, or ask Congress to pass an ex post facto amendment to the Constitution, or whine a lot until we all let him be President, or something. Does that mean he’s going to manfully concede the election now?
5. Screw Nader, the Natural Law Party votes could have swung this one.
According to the figures I’ve seen, John Hagelin (some flake who everyone always refers to as a “physicist” but who I believe is actually on the staff of Maharishi Univeristy) got more votes in Florida than the difference between Bush and Gore. If Gore had just gone down to Florida and quietly let it be known in the right circles that he believes in Transcendental Meditation (and would take the initiative in creating a Federal Transcendental Meditation Superhighway), he might have won the election. (I mean, assuming that he has not, in fact won the election, which I think is true, but I don’t pretend to know anything any more.)