Can somebody fan-wank some nagging questions about superhero movies, comic books & TV?

Spider Man can handle the bank robbers. Dr. Strange can handle the demonic overlord of an alternate dimension turning Earth into an eternal pit of pain and death. He can be a prick if he wants to.

Triplicate Girl comes from a planet where everyone can do what she does. I would guess their laws reflect this. There was a scene in the old LOS where we see that Bouncing boy wears two wedding rings which raises the really important question. Did they ever have four ways or three ways?

He’s quite good at giving people the news.

But can he see you’re burning, burning?

I was going to say yes, but then I thought, “if I could duplicate myself, would I have sex with myself?” Probably not.

There were a few Golden Age Batman comics wherein Bruce is at, say, a play, and an emergency requires him to change into Batman. Luckily he’s wearing his Batman suit under his streetclothes, a la Superman. How does he stash his gloves, boots, and that voluminous cape? Even if they were made of the finest silk, folding them up would create quite a bulge under his form- fitting tux, not to mention that big utility belt of his with its thousand feet of rope and multiple batarangs. It doesn’t make any sense- oh…wait.

At least it’s better than the original “Mr. Zero”, which was the name he had in his first appearance. Admittedly, he started as a rather unimpressive gimmick character who graduated to rogues-gallery status through 1)being used in the 60s series and 2)having a backstory presented dramatically in Batman: The Animated Series and horrendously badly in Batman & Robin.

There were also a few team-up stories where “Superman” would get shot with the villain’s Kryptonite ray gun or some such and then pull off a mask revealing Batman’s cowl, ears and all, underneath.

See, that’s where Marvel came up with the best catch-all solution to the costume problem: Unstable Molecules.

What If Reed Richards had not invented unstable molecules?

Okay, here’s mine:

In the Silver Age of comics, Argo city was the birthplace of Kara Zor-El. It had somehow survived the explosion of Krypton, and was under a protective dome that Zor-El had built for weather experiments. Soon after it expulsion into space the rocky terrain was transformed into “kryptonite” and the survivors were threatened with a delayed doom.

Lead was used to make a shield against the radiations, which turned out to be anti-kryptonite, a form that only affects Kryptonians when they DON’T have any superpowers. (Argo City continued to orbit Krypton’s red star-sun, except for a brief time that was fouled up by a superpowers-hating religious fanatic, who returned it to the original system.)

By the time Kal-El had grown up to Superman, the situation had become quite routine. Then a flock of meteors smashed up the lead shielding, casing a return to the deadly crisis. This prompted Zor-El and Alura to send Kara to earth in a parallel to Supie’s parents saving him.

I have my own theories about why it took so long for the Argo City folks to feel anything from the anti-K, and why there was time for the lead shielding to be put down the first time around. And a few theories about other glitches.

BUT WHY THE HECK, IN A WHOLE GENERATION, FROM KAL-EL AS TODDLER TO A GROWN MAN, DID NOT THE ARGO CITY RESIDENTS GET RID OF THE FUCKING ANTI-K??? THEY CERTAINLY HAD THE TECHNOLOGY!!!


(Also, Zor-El seemed smart enough to anticipate meteors, and build a tight defense against them.)


I also have a WHY-THE-FUCK about the writers and editors, who didn’t simply use the concept of an orphan or refugee from Kandor.

OK. Here’s my theory about why Marvel Earth isn’t a technological wonderland. There’s a subdivision of SHIELD that suppresses any technology they consider dangerous. Considering the types of things Richards and Stark usually invent, that would be almost everything they make. Also don’t forget, in the movie at least Stark was very opposed to sharing his tech with anybody.

I have the same theory about the Federation in Star Trek. Why doesn’t everybody use Dr. McCoy’s serum that gives you telekinetic powers? Examples along these lines are too numerous to mention. I figure that somewhere in the Federation beaurocracy is a branch of government that decides if society is ready for some particular invention, and supresses it if they decide “No.”

I’m sure it’s staffed entirely by Vulcans.

I always attributed it to the same reasons there are things in real life that only the wealthy and powerful own: the items are expensive and there are legal hoops to jump through (or subvert) to have them. I’d like to have a helicopter of my very own, for example, but I can’t remotely afford one.

Like Dr. Pulaski’s miraculous cure where they ran her through the transporter with some hairs from her brush that fell out before she was infected. I don’t recall that stunt being used again.

Probably Section 31. They would confiscate such technology for their own purposes. It was established in Enterprise that Section 31 existed as far back as Archer’s time, so they would have a presence in the 23rd century, too, even if they weren’t explicitly mentioned before showing up in Deep Space Nine.

If you want fanwanking, take a look at the scientist who was suppressing advanced technology back in the 20th century.

One common fanwank I’ve seen for alphatech not coming into common use is that it’s too unstable. Not necessarily the BOOM kind of unstable (though that’s a factor, too), but the kind that requires lots tweaking and adjustment to make it work properly. Since only the metasavant who made it understands it well enough to perform those adjustments, and they usually either have no interest in sharing or spend their lives moving from crisis to crisis, no one else can make the stuff work reliably. For a car analogy, alphatech is a jalopy that someone bashed together in their garage, which will only crank if you pound on the radio twice, turn the wheel left, and fiddle with the wires under the dash.

On the other hand, there’s PS238, in which alphatech does get adopted. One of the main characters is a metasavant who owns a company that manufactures self-assembling building kits, and an issue (“Suburban Renewal”) shows characters returning from a week-long trip to find a bunch of new skyscrapers.

However, they have a Production Hell problem. He also works with NASA, and their engineering/construction chain can’t keep up with him. By the time they have one system ready for its initial tests, he’s come up with another that’s enough of an improvement that the one they were about to test is obsolete. (I imagine that sooner or later, they’ll learn to tell him, “Thanks, but we’ll stick with this one for a while.”)

nm.