When I was 5 or 6 I used to watch the original Mickey Mouse Club, and I really, really liked Annette. Never any question in my mind about which way I swung.
Sex does not pre-date attraction.
I mean, you could also say “How do you know you’re not attracted to <random person>, you haven’t had sex with them yet”
YES.
Even after 15 years after I first fell in love with a girl, and continue to have thoughts mostly about girls, I’m still kind of unsure as to where I fall on the spectrum.
Before I fell in love with a girl, (age 15) I totally thought I was straight. Had thoughts about doing it with guys, and even had crushes on guys.
It’s confusing. I know if the girls I have loved were guys my feelings for them would be exactly the same.
I’m 95% sure I’m full on lesbian. But there’s still that niggling in the back of my mind " Maybe I just haven’t had enough relationships with guys (guys tend to be kind of awkward around people with disablities) and I attended a very snotty high school.
Heck, my current girlfriend KNEW she was lesbian from the time she was a young teen, and she didn’t have sex until she was 16.
As a female, I’ve always been attracted to males; but who knows? Inside this hetero woman may be a gay man fantasising of transgender surgery to become that closet lesbian that straight guys dream of.
My gay friend used the Facts of Life as a gay/straight test. If you were gay, you liked Jo. If you were straight, you liked Blair.
Ya’ know, when I was young and my mother would try to get me to eat something new like broccoli; I would always, adamantly refuse. She would then lay the ol’ trite logic: “But how do you know if you don’t even try it?”
To appease my mother, I’d try it. And ya’ know what? It turns out I was right 100% of the time, I didn’t like it!
So, with that in mind, I’m going to go out on a limb and say: “If my gut tells me I aint gonna like it; then I probably aint gonna like it!”
…you’re kidding me, right? It’s just as likely to have been a dare, or a joke, or something as meaningless as that. I’m sure the lesbian RN you work with will know. :rolleyes:
Sometimes? Denial. It probably happens quite frequently with gay folks who have grown up in a society that is very hostile toward homosexuality. There eventually comes a point where either you realize that your surroundings have changed enough that it’s safe for you to acknowledge your feelings, or when you’ve been pushed too hard and you can no longer deal with living a sham life.
Other times it’s probably because human sexuality can be fluid. Hormone levels change as we grow older; I think it’s conceivable that someone could newly find themselves attracted to what they weren’t attracted to before.
Huh? Blair was a vapid twit. Jo was at least somewhat real, even if you’d prefer her to be more feminine. (I personally liked Tootie.)
I had a friend in high school who was like Jo. Turns out it was just a front she put on because she was insecure. Beneath it was a very girly girl.
Anyways, I still don’t get why being attracted to a woman at all would mean you were gay. The whole idea that gay people are just attracted to less effeminate women is actually used by anti-gay activists as proof that gay people choose to be that way, as they have other options. The idea of a gay person embracing it seems really odd to me.
Nor do I get people evaluating themselves based on their likes and dislikes of stereotypically gay interests. None of that is important. The sole requirement for being a homosexual is to like the same sex, and not the opposite one.All the rest is just window-dressing. I know plenty of straight guys that like musical theater. But they don’t like guys, and that’s all that matters.
I, as a boy, wanted to boink Jo. No wonder I turned out so screwed up.
How nice that since you weren’t there and have no knowledge of me or her or the circs that you just know.
It was NOT a dare or a joke. It was our very first day in Bio lab–we were mostly freshman, a few sophs. We were all strangers to one another–the TA made us go round and introduce ourselves. I don’t remember her name (the one who came on to me). She was not kidding around. IMS, she didn’t speak to me the rest of the semester.
I have no idea how old you are, but back in the late 70s and early 80s, teens didn’t just go up to strangers and accost them sexually. This was long before female rock singers Frenched one another on stage etc. Behavior like this just didn’t happen. Not in daylight, sober and in class. I find it highly doubtful that it would happen today, when young people claim that they’re all so sexually liberated and open etc. :rolleyes:
Of course my coworker doesn’t know what motivated this woman to do what she did. I was thinking of talking it over with her as more of a reality check. This issue has bothered me SO much, it has taken me 30 years to bring it up. (that last is sarcasm). It did shake me at the time.
Anyway, the whole point of my posting is that some people just don’t know. Here’s a twist: I am happily hetero, but re The Facts of Life–I liked Jo; couldn’t stand Blaire; wanted to strangle Natalie and Tutti (and Mrs G). Jo was the only one who seemed to have any kind of intellectual inner life, despite her “biker/burnout” appearance. Make of that what you (general you) will…
I’m a hetero-leaning bisexual and I liked Jo, hated Blair.
Man, I hate a brain-baking lust for women long before I ever had sex. I can’t see why this is even a question.
If the man in the boat is floating, I sure hope it’s not your first clue.
And with that attitude, it’s probably been a long time since!
I think you meant HAD or else that is one of the most interesting Freudian slips I’ve seen in awhile…
You and many other boys. Annette rocked my world.
I am about as sexually liberated, free, and open-minded as anyone, but I still don’t get this concept so many people have of sexual orientation being fluid, uncertain, or confusing. I am attracted to men, and the thought of, sound of, smell of, and/or looks of men turn me on. Take that sentence and substitute “women”, “both men and women”, or whatever floats your boat, for “men”, and voila! You’re ______ (whatever’s applicable). How is that confusing? Can someone explain that to me in a sincere, non-snarky way? And, what, sexual orientation can change with hormone levels? Does this mean that as I approach menopause, I might catch teh gay? What??
I think that some folks may be attracted (not all that strongly perhaps) to one sex or the other and may feel that they might have a stronger drive if they were to “try out” the alternative–hell, that doesn’t make any sense either.
Hmmm. I see your point, **Alice. ** I don’t think it’s so much confusion as it is uncertainty. This probably happens in teens more so than adults, I would imagine. We’ve all heard of men who grew up, got married, had kids etc and then left their wives for another man. For all I know, this is common among lesbians as well. I dunno.
I think what some here are saying is they don’t feel they know this aspect of themselves thoroughly. They may not even want to experiment or act on whatever impulse (if any) they may have, it’s just that they don’t define themselves as 100% Hetero/Homo.
Of course you can be sure. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18, but when I was 9 or 10 me and my friend found a porno mag in the woods.
“Hey Joe, when I look at those pictures of nudie ladies, my willy goes all funny.”
- “Me too!”
“What’s that all about?”
When I was 15 or 16 a gay friend came on to me, and it felt uncomfortable and awkward and there was not even a spark of interest or even curiosity. I’ve never once felt sexually attracted to a male, though I am happy to acknowledge and admire male beauty - aesthetically only.
I think it’s innate, and don’t believe it’s conditioning - my parents are very liberal in the non-political sense of the word, and never expressed homophobic views, and I recall they were extremely open-minded for the times during the Jeremy Thorpe scandal in the UK.
Except it would only be true is humans having sex were particularly efficient at getting results. We’re pretty low compared to a lot of other species, so it’s pretty important that we think its great, because it often takes several tries.