Can you buy the naming rights, or the property rights, to a black hole? Seriously.
TIA
I would imagine you would have to contact the owner of said black hole and make them an offer.
Seriously, like the Name a Star scams, you can pay $40 to name a star after someone and have it listed in the International Star Registry, but that means jack sh-- to the scientists.
No. Nor any other astronomical body, in fact. Only the IAU has the authority to name celestial objects.
Yes, right HERE and for a mere 9.99!*
*Shipping costs not included
I can rent you one… send me the money and ask your friends. They’ll all agree your $$$ went into a black hole. 
no, prostitution is illegal in the united states.
(I’m hilarious!)
And wrong. It is legal in certain counties in Nevada.
http://www.worldsexguide.org/nv_legal.html
Of course, lots of black holes are available, particularly in real estate, where they are known as “fixer-uppers.”
And so far as time is concerned, well, SDMB registration is a mere $4.95…
No, but you can own a piece of Uranus.
There’s a joke in there somewhere…