Coolidge: You lose.
That’s what she said.
I wager $5 that I can find a Calvinist minister that’s heard it before. 
It’s just too good to not have been invented more than once.
Exorcist non-payment equals repossession.
I didn’t get it at first… but now I know it is funny! Ha!
Scotsman, sheep.
Seal walks into club…
Besides that, Mrs. Lincoln…
Make America great… AGAIN!
No dictionary defines gullible.
Virgin Mary loves chocolate!
Prevent: farts before beans.
What…Women Want?
Corduroy pillows make headlines!
How old is the target audience? Say the four words “farty poopy butt face” to a four year old and you’ll be a comedic god!
Otherwise, throw in an Intrinsically Funny Word or two and see where things go. “My chicken schnitzel collapsed!”
Black, like my men.
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Mom died… not!!! 
Hey, I didn’t say it was a good joke.
Same as in town.
“Tuning a mellotron doesn’t.” - Robert Fripp
Pompous and pretentious? Moi???
(Not original, but fits the theme.)