Can you top this lame excuse?

[iamthewalrus_3]

@Revtim

Incoming texts working but outgoing texts not working seems possible to me. But I used to test telecom systems professionally, so I’ve seen pretty much any phone fuckup.

I’ve had this exact problem (sort of).

iPhones don’t use text messages to send text to other iPhones. They use a separate mechanism that sends using data and doesn’t count as a text message.

At one point, my phone could send and receive text messages, but the iMessages thing was screwed up, so I couldn’t send text messages to other iPhone users (it’s supposed to fail over to use actual text messages, but didn’t for some reason). I only discovered this when people started complaining about me not responding.

[Hari_Seldon]

I was e-incommunicado for about 10 days last spring because our sysop was upgrading the dept. servers and something went kerflooie. I do have a gmail account, but I never give it out since I rarely sign on to it. I did use to send daily explanations to my family, but asked them not to ever use it under normal circumstances. Shit happens.

[Ranger_Jeff]

My “go to” excuse is the one I used when some clown invited me to help him move some cinder blocks out of the basement of his Barn House.

“I’d love to help but I’m washing my hair that day. Or I’ll have a cake in the oven. Or an arms deal in Tangiers. I don’t remember which.” Which led to a discussion on how I keep my tuxedo (w/white dinner jacket) so neat and crisp under my wet suit.

[Zebra]

I think the brother-in-law needed to pay his phone bill.

[Ulfreida]

@Becky2844

My MIL was visiting when we mentioned that a party was coming up and we needed a babysitter. She said, “We’re going to be sick that weekend.”

I’m stealing this.

[purplehorseshoe]

A former co-worker told me one year her husband got her, for her birthday or Valentine’s Day (I can’t recall exactly) as a gift:

one (1) compass.

The topper? "I was gonna get you a card, too, but those things are, like, five bucks!"

For years, “I was gonna x_ but those things are, like, five bucks!” was a running household joke after I told the Other Shoe the story.

[aruvqan]

@Ravenman

Someone claimed that they couldn’t go to work one day because she shared a driveway with her neighbors, and a plumber making a long service call left his truck parked in the middle of the driveway. She simply couldn’t back her car out of the garage with that truck in the way!

I once called out by forwarding the film of the power line that was knocked down bouncing around and arcing, setting fires at the mouth of my driveway :eek: and on a different job I called out by sending the picture of the half of a pine tree laying on my car.

So a blocked driveway and garage is perfectly understandable.
[URL=“http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/”]

[Cheesesteak]

@aruvqan

I once called out by forwarding the film of the power line that was knocked down bouncing around and arcing, setting fires at the mouth of my driveway :eek: and on a different job I called out by sending the picture of the half of a pine tree laying on my car.

So a blocked driveway and garage is perfectly understandable.
[URL=“http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/”]

there is a slight difference between a driveway blocked by a hot power line, and a driveway blocked by a truck driven by someone you can locate in five minutes.

[Joey_P]

One of the posts upthread reminded me of another one: One of my high school employee’s mothers called one day and said

Hi, this is [pause] Stephanie’s Mom [where are you, Stephanie’s Mom, you sound weird and I hear chatter in the background, I think], she can’t come in today, she’s [pause] sick"

RIIIIING goes the school bell

Okay, thanks for letting me know.

I knew her mom well enough that I called her to let her know that ‘she’ just called her daughter in. It didn’t happen again after that.

[fachverwirrt]

I teach voice at a university.

Many years ago, one of my students didn’t show up for her lesson. No call, no email, nothing. The next week she wandered in without any comment or apology. When I asked her where she’d been, she told me that she had decided to make up with her boyfriend, so she had needed to fly to DC to surprise him.

The next year she emailed me just before her lesson to let me know she wasn’t coming. You see, her boyfriend had surprised her for Valentine’s Day, and she “didn’t want to leave him alone”.

(Note that neither “need to fly halfway across the country to make up up with boyfriend” nor “too horny to wait an hour” are covered under the department’s “excused absence” policy.)

[BrassyPhrase]

I don’t know if this is a ‘top THIS’ kind of thread, but I heard this Sunday and was shocked.

My mom is 64, and she has a woman that she has been friends with for 50 years. Yes, 50 years.

BrassyMom just got back from one of those all-inclusive Mexican resort trips with MomFriend and her husband and BrassyMom and my dad. I was hearing about the trip:

BrassyMom: <in a middle of a rant about how mentally ‘sick’ MomFriend is> "…And then she[MomFriend] says to me, “You DON’T UNDERSTAND! I’M AN <wait for it>
ONLY CHILD!!!”

Me: What? She’s a fucking GRANDMOTHER?!!?

BrassyMom: Right? Am I supposed to use “I’m a middle child!” for everything I ever say or do?

Ugh, I so loathe my mom’s friend. I think my mom is finally seeing that this woman has a toxic personality.

[Mona_Lisa_Simpson]

About 12 or 13 years ago I was working in West Vancouver, and one of our care staff called in, and said because the Lions Gate Bridge was closed (it was going through an expansion and had periodic closures on weekends at night) she wouldn’t be able to make it in until quite late, so “you might as well replace me”. Nevermind that these closures were well publicized on all news media, and our facility sent out reminders to everyone to plan accordingly.

Well it turns out that she was seen, by a manager, at a casino that night. At the same time she was supposedly "phoning in a panic, she had forgot about the bridge… " She was on probation anyway, and did not last her three months.