You can’t make this stuff up, $140,000 smuggled out (like $1 million Canadian 
), found a jar of Vaseline in his locker at work.
“Ontario Court of Justice Judge Peter Doody…”
Ha ha ha!
I wonder how many lawyers faced contempt charges for greeting him; “Howdy, Doody!”
In this case, Vespasian’s bon mot, Pecunia non olet (“money does not stink”), may not be appropriate.
Though presumably, not all at once. They were in the form of 6.7 ounce “pucks”. A bank teller became suspicious after noticing a number of gold sales by a mint employee.
What surprised me was that wanding did not discover the contraband, even though he set off metal detectors. Top. Men.
Lawrence faced “a number of smuggling-for-cash charges, including theft, laundering the proceeds of crime, possession of stolen property and breach of trust,”
That’s not all he breached!
Yeah, that’s 100 ounces at $1400/ounce (not sure what the current price is), so 6.25 lbs of gold or so. I mean he did smuggle out a shitload of gold, an assload even, but over 6 lbs? Nah, not in one load.
Nor all he, uh, laundered, we would hope.
“Ewwww… exactly WHERE did you say you found this?”
He stole all that gold and he might as well have stuck it up his ass for all the good it did him.
According to the documentary South Park, Canadians fart at every opportunity, so he must’ve been found out when his anus was unusually silent.
And of course: ass pennies (SFW with headphones on).
…
The CNN article here: http://www.cnn.com/2016/09/21/world/mint-employee-may-have-smuggled-gold-rectum-trnd/index.html
WAS Briliant! The caption under the picture, and then the article later explaining that the mint wanted to understand exactly how he did it had a security guy replicate the crime!
You can’t make up this, er, comedy gold.
I was hoping “Canadian Butt Smuggler” would be Chuck Tingle’s new series.
Look, if you guys can’t recognize an obvious devout homage to the Philistinian capture of the ark of the covenant and its subsequent restoration via divine intervention that’s not my problem.
Religious persecution! Religious persecution!!
There is no connection to our Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve, honest.
I’m surprised that CNN printed an article written in such a slangy, humorous style, but I like it.
Dennis
PS, is “slangy” a word?
They arrested him for stealing a buttload of gold?
He had plans for his gold but, they wrecked 'em.
Also, he should have used An Album Cover.
This I don’t understand. The security camera footage shows him being wanded after setting off the walkthrough metal detector on his way out of the facility. at airports, people with metal in their bodies (bullets, hip/knee implants, bone screws, etc.) need a note from their doctor to get past security. Surely the handheld metal detector was going off when it was passed over his backside. 
Just be glad he wasn’t smuggling cigarettes.