Captain Ron, and Other Movies That Annoy You Because You Like Them

Agree. Good fun.

Can I nominate Miss Congeniality? Or is that generally acknowledged as a good movie? I mean, all the stereotypes - whoops, I mean characters - are painted completely all- black or all-white (guys are either jerks or fags, girls are either golden-hearted fun chicks or old, evil, conniving bitches), the heroine does the whole ‘If you let you hair down, you’d be pretty’ schtick. There’s more character and plot development in the costume changes.

I love it.

Actually, I think Miss Congeniality is exactly like Captain Ron: a professionally-made, very capable but very by-the-numbers movie that you like even though the strings they are pulling are very, very familiar. I have a soft spot for Miss Congeniality, too, probably because I like Sandra Bullock. But her movies are a bit formulaic: she starts out all strict and by-the-book then lets her hair down and goes all goofy on us. I mean, her Miss Congeniality character was almost exactly the same character she played in “The Heat” – a strict, capable, hard-nosed law enforcement agent (I think FBI in both cases?) who is in her personal life a shy, lovable goof. She learns to let her hair down and accept people in both cases and things eventually go better for her. (The difference is, in “The Heat” she had Melissa McCarthy to play against, and the two of them really made what was a formulaic cop buddy movie something more than it could have been.)

Loved Captain Ron. Won’t say that in public, tho.

The one that annoys me because I like it so much, is “What Price Glory”, with James Cagney, from the 50s, I think.

Total schlockfest. Find one of Cagney’s dorkiest performances, like where he’s clowning with retards or kids, and turn it up to 11.

Then, throw in the dying soldier, who, with half of his guts blown out, demands of Cagney the meaning of war and the iron leader’s determination that led them into the valley of death. He was gasping “What price glory, Captain!! What price glory!!” Dick.

That’s not all, tho. There is the young French just maturing into womanhood maiden, who lost her soldier boyfriend. She goes around and questions the returning soldiers “Has anybody seen my X (wtf his name was)?” “Captain, have you seen my sweet X?”
and, Cagney has to tell her that he died (or, something similar). “So, my sweet X is not coming back to me, his little cheri? I’m never to see his sweet face, blah, blah, blah” Cagney then damns the war and mens everlasting foolishness.

Blech. I love it, tho.

I actually had it at work. It was in the wrong box, and I told a co-worker that we could watch “Heat” since I had brought it with me. I opened it up, saw what it was, and blanched. I slammed the case shut, and said, “Sorry, wrong movie-Its a Cagney movie. We’ll find something on the internet.” He said “Hey, I like Cagney.” I didn’t even respond. He probably thought it was kiddie porn, or something. I think I shall encourage that idea, so he doesn’t find out it was “What Price Glory”.

I’m always surprised that I like the movie Congo as much as I do. Maybe it’s because it’s kind of like a D&D game where you assemble a group of adventurers of different archetypes and they go through a series of adventures. Plus, it ends up with gorillas getting shot by a homemade laser.