I recently watched the movie “Captain Ron” again. I’ve watched it several times. I like it. But … I know it’s a soulless piece of plastic extruded by Disney for the sole purpose of extracting bucks from an older middle class audience seeking a very safe, wholesome family adventure.
And I’m deeply conscious of what an obvious piece of schlock it is even as I enjoy it. For one thing, it stars Martin Short in maximum “Love Me!” mode as the hapless father figure. (I find the desperate need for approval he projects kind of sickening). For another it’s got Mary Kay Place doing a full Yuppie Mommie. And two adorable kids who would be adorable if they knew how to act.
I really can’t blame Short, Place or the child actors for the film, the roles are scored in such a way that most actors could probably perform them in their sleep. And Russell delivers a much better performance than the movie calls for in the title role of the reprobate sea captain that mildly annoys the middle-class family.
I like the movie, I think … I don’t really KNOW why I like this piece of trash … because it visually delivers on the promise of an island getaway escape movie: lots of scenic island imagery and beautiful ocean vistas. The wholesome family adventure is just a tissue-thin excuse to get from one scenic location to the next.
It’s kind of like porn in that respect, I guess. Just enough plot to get to the boom chicka wow wow.
But still, every time I watch it, I wind up annoyed that I liked it. At least porn has a specific, definable reason why you like it.