I’m pretty picky when it comes to movies. There’s a few stars whose movies I won’t see just because they’re in it (Tom Cruise, Richard Gere, Julia Roberts, etc).
Sometimes, I think Hollywood so wants me NOT to see a movie they have to throw in a clincher.
Example:
Happy Gilmore: it’s about golf. Oooohhhhhh, woop-de-do. But wait, let’s throw in Adam Sandler! Wouldn’t touch this movie with ten foot eyeballs. Pretty Woman: Julia Roberts as a prostitute is a far enough stretch, but let’s add Richard Gere as a wealthy businessman who falls in love with her. Just try to get into the theater!
VanHellsing. Bad CGI? Check. Bad Action shots? Check. Looks like it’s made to fit into that ‘popcorn’ movie genre that really just means “this movie sucks look at the people running and jumping.” Cop-out. Check. Really they couldn’t have made it look more unappealing to me.
Feel good type movies. Ya know, the kind where a struggling person overcomes adversity to triumph in the end. BUT, just when you think they suceed, a wrench is thrown into the mix. Ensue drama about how they are actually going to fail instead. Oh no, but wait! They turn it into a positive and win. Yeah…
I’m a sucker for disaster films. Generally it doesn’t matter how retarded the storyline is. As long as I can crank up my home theather and feel the rumble, I’m good to go.
I felt ill just watching the trailer for the last *Final Destination[i/] movie. It was like being back in driver’s ed.
Also, any movie built around the hero going after the scum who raped and killed his wife/kids/dog/partner/whatever. Revenge flicks are the lowest.
Movies that appear to have been written mostly by 13 year old boys. Who are either going for the gratuitous “gross out” or the gratuitous (as they aptly described in an old SNL skit) “we’re so horny that we’ll laugh at anything that can even remotely be construed as sexually related” gag.
Example 50 First Dates, which contained the amazing barfing Walrus, the psuedo cool oriental man who appeared to be affected with tourettes, his lines were so filled with profanity.
In short, almost anything with Adam Sandler, Rob Sneieder, Ben Stiller and co.
This is probably going to be an unpopular choice, (and it isn’t as if I hated this movie, because Tim Curry was pretty cool), but Rocky Horror Picture Show. It was a big bleh. I saw it with a friend who assumed that I’d think it was the greatest thing ever. It was a big disappointment. It had been built up by everyone to be this really “daring” and clever thing, but it was just a lot of ho-hum. I guess I saw it 20 years too late (I saw it—the one and only time—in the early '90s). I had music that wasn’t necessarily my favorite style, it didn’t seem all tha scandalous or daring to me, and, well . . . eh. So Tim Curry was great, but that didn’t make up for a whole lot of . . . eh. Not my cup of tea.
You just described the standard story arc for any Hollywood movie. That’s not a genre, that’s the definition of a screenplay. Which one of your favorite disaster movies doesn’t have a protagonist fighting against something, a false victory, and then a real victory? What Hollywood movie ever strayed from that structure?
Most movies where it’s obvious there was no real script – the director just gave the actors a situation and let them improvise in it via their characters. Such movies are notable for their scenery-chewing awfulness, their general lack of focus and their overwhelming dullness.
Movies where there are lots of explosions purely because “explosions are cool.” :rolleyes: Ditto car chase movies, and other forms of “Oooh! Sparkly! Mongo like sparkly!” Think 48 Hours et al. Those things bore the tits off me.
Movies that consist solely of people sitting around talking about stuff. If I want to spend two hours listening to people talk, I’ll actually have a conversation with someone, thanks. Worst offender in this category–Glengarry, Glen Ross, although Magnolia comes pretty close in parts. Dreadful movies, simply dreadful, the both of them.
Slasher/gore for the sake of gore movies. Gore is NOT scary. Gore is just, well, kinda gross (although I can probably see worse on any given day at work).
The dick and fart joke genre, except for the Kevin Smith movies.
How about movies where the main character is forced into adverse conditions (that is, spoiled brat is forced to work) and “learns something about themselves” by the time the movie is over.
Anything done by MTV Films. Varsity Blues is quite possibly the worst film I’ve ever sat through at the theatre. And this is from the guy who sat through Freddy Got Fingered at the theatre!
“Premise driven” movies. I.e., someone has a idea for a situation, and then builds a story, characters, etc. around it. Nope. The premise doesn’t mean squat in most movies. What’s the premise of “Pulp Fiction”?
Start with the characters, who’s doing what and why are they doing it. Then build a setting that helps that along.
Esp. bad are premise driven movies where the “idea” has been used a million times already. E.g., “Raising Helen”. Who are the idiots that greenlighted that? (What’s even worse, Lori Loughlin has a new WB TV show coming out with the same premise. She’s so stupid she points out in interviews that she came up with the idea herself! ROTFL.)
So this automatically excludes large categories of movies such as teenage-slasher, car chase, blowing things up, etc. type movies.
Note that US moviegoers have so completely bought into the “you gotta start with a premise” notion that movies that don’t focus on premise get ignored.
