What stops you from seeing a movie?

Cafe Society
1

I don’t mean lack of money or time.

This is what I mean:
I don’t let bad buzz or bad reviews stop me if I’m still really interested.
I don’t let filmakers/actors political views stop me (tho there’s probably some exceptions; I’m pretty into free speech).
On the other hand I will NOT see a movie with graphic rape scenes (Irreversible is out for me).
Also, eye gouging is off my list. No movies with eye gouging. (Missed the end of Blade Runner because of this; I was looking forward to Once Upon a Time in Mexico until I read of an eye gouging scene. It’s out now).
and arms and legs being chopped off. ugh.
Fast forwarding a video or DVD is a possible option, but I don’t want to encourage this stuff.

What stops you from watching a movie? Really bad acting in the first 5 minutes? The words Billy Jack?

2

The genre might stop me. I am not into teen movies, and I don’t care for most romantic comedies. I don’t like period pieces for the most part either.
The stars might stop me. I don’t think much of the acting ability or screen presence of some actors or actresses and won’t see a movie if they are one of the stars.
And the subject material might stop me. If the movie is pretty much a political statement and nothing else (eg The Life of David Gale, Hurricane, etc) I have no interest in watching it.

3

I’m pretty much genre driven, too. Some categories just don’t interest me. If I hear some buzz that some exceptional actor is invading a genre that I don’t normally care for, I may break down just to see it for that reason.

I have developed a distaste for some actors after having given them a fair shot. Once bitten twice burned sort of thing.

I favor dramas over comedies. I like things with substance as opposed to effects and “action” as a general thing but I can be persuaded to try something in the less favored category.

I get as much of my movie viewing off cable as anywhere else. I’ll pretty much give anything a chance if I’m bored but not sleepy and there’s nothing much else on. But I’m quick to drop one after the first five minutes (often even less) if it isn’t moving along.

I’m weird about stuff I rent. Unless it’s stinking bad, I’ll go ahead and subject myself to the whole thing rather than “waste” the rental charge.

I can’t remember walking out on but one movie at a theater. It was “Emerald Forest” and I just couldn’t handle the stupidity after five minutes in. It might be somebody else’s favorite, but the absolute lack of anything appealing to me caused me to violate my “endure it if you pay for it” code. The way I rationalized it was that there was another screen in the theater playing “Silverado” so I just swapped screens. If it had been a one-screen outfit, I probably would have stayed and suffered through.

4

For me, it’s all about the actors. There are a few actors I cannot stand to watch on screen, and I try to avoid them.

Hugh Grant
Julia Roberts
Jennifer Lopez

I watch interviews from talk shows and try to get a grasp of their personality. If I find them grating, conceited or annoying, I can’t get around that when I see them in movies. JLo lost me after the hyper conceited and idiotic “Jenny from the Block” song/video.

5

Certain actors/actresses:

Jim Carrey
Brad Pitt
Tom Cruise
Adam Sandler
Pauly Shore
Ashton Kutcher
Richard Gere
Julia Roberts
Meryl Streep

Certain genres:

Dramas
Love stories
martial arts
Disney (with rare exceptions like Toy Story)
When I actually go to the movies (which habecome rare lately considering I’ve only seen two movies in as many years in a theater), it’s usually going to be an action-adventure, sci-fi, or comedy movie. Usually with those types of films, you get a kick out of the audience reaction.

6

Produced by: Jerry Bruckheimer, Don Simpson, Dean Devlin

Directed by: Michael Bay, Joel Schumacher, Roland Emmerich, Jan De Bont, Eric Schaeffer, Steven King, Kevin Smith (I finally learned my lesson)

Written by: Akiva Goldsman

Starring: Steven Seagal, Rob Schneider, Adam Sandler (except Punch Drunk Love), Ben Affleck, latter-day Harrison Ford, Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock.

Any movie marketed as heartwarming, uplifting, inspiring, etc. Such obvious Oscar-fodder is probably over-rated pablum (Seabiscuit looks like the most recent example of this kind of tripe).

7

In no particular order:

  1. Diarrhea
  2. Jail time
  3. A sexual encounter (not in jail of course)
  4. “The Force”
  5. Traffic
  6. Black Holes
  7. David Copperfield makes the theatre disappear
  8. A better movie is on TV
  9. If I get drafted, the movie is probably out
  10. Leprechauns
8

Hodge - While I respect all your opinions -
man, you just gotta give Pirates of the Caribbean a chance, despite, or in spite of. its Bruckheimer connection! (and Mr. Blue Sky - it certainly fits your criteria; did you like POTC?)

9

If I see the trailer or hear about it and I think it sounds/looks stupid. Exceptionally good reviews can change this though. I watch a lot of movies so I don’t usually purposefully avoid one.

10

Explosions in the trailer
Use of the words “thriller” or “thrilling” in advertising
Horror genre
Action/Adventure genre
Gross-out comedy genre
Reviews/descriptions critical of the amount of violence

11

I simply won’t go see a splatter film. There is so much more available to see than a gore fest…and I don’t need the images in my head. I can do without Jason and/or Freddie Kruger, thank you.

I also cannot stand the thought of a film that focuses on the depravity of a sociopathic villian. Films such as “The Cell”, “American Psycho” or “Henry: Portrait of Serial Killer” will never get my money. A friend once loaned me “The Cell” and I watched about 15 minutes of it before I lost it and turned it off. This looked like a tribute to a Marilyn Manson video. Forget it. There’s too much killing in the real world, I don’t need it blasting out of my television by choice.

12

When I hear that there’s a “hidden” thing that obviates one of the draws.
Like in the new Ben Aflek/JayLo flick, one of the attractions was going to be seeing if they had on-screen chemistry to match their romance.
But then Ebert spoils it by saying the trick is she’s gay. I should know better - he insists on spoiling something in every review that every other reviewer has sense to keep secret.
Well, I figured that knowing would ruin the only plot point I came to see, so I didn’t see it. (I would have ignored his thumb down). Now that it’s a laughingstock, I’m glad I missed it.

13

Any film which advocates stupidity as being funny. Splatter films. Bratty kid films (Problem Child, etc.). Grossout films. “Cute” films. Pauly Shore (as mentioned above).

Then there’s the theaters themselves. The seats aren’t very comfortable, the concessions are overpriced (and frequently stale), the AC is usually on FULL BLAST, so that I must wear a jacket in summer, and the volume is either whisper soft for voices or thundering for sound effects.

Damn, I’m picky…
<wanders off to play Fiddler on the Roof on her DVD>

14

Yup. Pretty much ditto. I rent or go to the rep cinemas. The only time I don’t rent is if I think it would be preferable to see the film on a large screen (like LOTR). That also means I don’t have to deal with munching noises from people who eat like barnyard animals, cellphones ringing mid-film, and I can pause it to go for a potty break.

Come to think of it… I don’t really go to the cinemas much anymore.

Although, since I work with musicians, I usually have earplugs on me (I work with good musicians, but there are times when you need to protect your hearing from volume levels) so the “too loud” issue has become a lot easier to manage.

When I saw The Matrix the film was litigiously loud. The volume was unmistakably above the human threshold of pain (so most of the audience plugged their ears throughout which made our elbows ache horribly. Your choice was ear pain or elbow pain) and the distortion made some of the audio incomprehensible and speakers were cracking.

15

I was going down the list thinking these were things you didn’t want to see in a movie. Made me giggle. :slight_smile:
I’ll usually just watch whatever and regret it later. I do try to stay away from romantic comedies, anything starring Hugh Grant, and so called spics like Pearl Harbor and Titanic.

16

Epics! Epics!!! Epics! :eek: :o

17

  1. Any movie with “Dude” in the title.

  2. Any movie with Ashton Kutcher. (See #1)

  3. Any movie that is yuppie porn - that is, any movie which pretends to be Great Art when its true purpose is to be a cinematic fashion magazine showcasing off attractive people, luxurious homes, fancy costumes, and scenic foreign vistas.

  4. All Merchant/Ivory movies (see #3.)

  5. Any historical movie that takes such gross liberties with the facts that I will spend the entire movie muttering under my breath “Abraham Lincoln and Queen Victoria didn’t really have a torrid love affair, and I don’t think US Grant was actually a woman in disguise” instead of sitting back and enjoying the show.

  6. Any movie advertised as “the feel-good movie of the year!”

  7. American remakes of French movies, or French remakes of American ones.

  8. Any movie featuring Madonna or her music.

  9. Any movie that was not screened for critics before its release.

  10. Any movie that thinks it’s being couragous and daring by exploring historical issues that haven’t controversial for decades … e.g. movies that bravely declare Slavery Is Wrong, or shockingly announce that Women Should Have The Right To Vote, or that dare to say The Working Classes Had It Pretty Tough Back Then, Didn’t They?

18

I am so glad you asked.

Any film glorifying/longing nostagia for the antebellum South (Gone With the Wind, Birth Of A Nation, The Patriot)

Any film giving prominent roles and onscreen time to Nathan Lane, Pauly Shore, Don Cheadle, Whitney Houston, Whoopi Goldberg, Ben Affleck and every OTHER J. Lo film… every THIRD Robin Williams film…

Thuglife comedies, dramas, or (shudder) “dramadies” starring Black Hollywood’s B-list: Tiny Lister, Jr., Mike Epps, Martin Lawrence, most gangsta rappers, a third of former child actors, half the Jacksons, every other supermodel, all the Wayans.

The above caveat lovingly excludes LisaRaye, who can’t act worth a damn, but who cares.

Any “comedy” with Chris Rock, who, despite his talent, simply cannot carry a movie where he is the star.

Any “comedy” with Cuba Gooding, Jr., who is simply not funny, and somebody should let his agent know.

Any movie featuring pastorial Africa from a nostalgic/empirial European perspective (I Dream Of Africa, Out of Africa, A Good Man In Africa, Tarzan movies)

A View Askew Production.

Smithee films.

“Directed by Michael Bay”

19

The Patriot, while not a particularly good movie, did not glorify or long nostalgically for the antebellum South.

I avoid any movie that has pointless Hong-Kong style John Woo gunplay.

I avoid any movie where the preview voice-over guy starts with a deep and grave, “IN A WORLD…” e.g. ** The Postman **

Kevin Costner (apart from ** Field of Dreams ** and ** JFK [B/])

“HEY EVERYBODY, COME GET YOUR OSCARS” type movies. e.g. any drama with Jim Carey, Cuba Gooding, Jr., or Ed Harris.

I’ll second the Merchant/Ivory film thing.

20

I find trailers are a pretty good guide, but not in the way Hollywood thinks. If an action adventure movie can’t produce a 15-second trailer that’s exciting and interesting to watch, the movie itself must suck big time. Frex, Charles Angels 2: the girls shook their butts (I knew that was gonna happen) there was a large explosion, and some large black guy complained of sand in his swimsuit. Whoo-ha.

Same with comedies. It it doens’t have a couple of great lines or funny images for the trailer, there probably aren’t any in the movie.

The exception would be serious films and experimental indie films, which may need more time to set up their scenes.

oh, yeah, explosions and car chases don’t count as excitement in action movies. They are kind of a given.