Other captions might work…
“I’m a grower, not a shower.”
“I’m crushing your head, i’m crushing your head!”
Hah! Right-hand claw grip crushes Monkey Brain!
“So… uh… the backwards C means it’s my right hand?”
“Yes, my brain really is only this big. Stop laughing.”
Reporter: “How old are you?”
Bush: “I’m THIS many!”
Reporter: So Mr. President, how much do you really know about this topic, or being president at all?
Bush: Heh heh, just between you and me? This much.
“Laura’s nipples get this big.”
“Yeah, so (heh) we’re talking about a miniskoo, uh, minisotal, uh, really, really small amount of stuff, here. (heh)”
(Every time I see a picture of the President, all I can hear is John Stewart impersonating him.)