Cat in the Hat - Oh those silly reviewers

I must admit I’m looking forward to how they plan on promoting the movie adaptation of The Lorax.

That should be seeing how they plan on promoting. I was trying so hard not to rhyme I forgot grammer this one time.

Damnit.

It’s actually Burger King that has the Cat in the Hat tie ins.

McDonalds is not at fault this time. this time.

Damn, you’re right. Oops. Burger king is part of the problem as well, even if they are not as bad as Mickey D’s. I think McDonalds is worse simply because there are more of them, but one could argue fairly convincingly that McDs, BK, and KFC are a large part of the obesity problem in this country. None of them are safe from my scorn. I try to avoid them as much as possible. It is, admittedly, sometimes difficult as they are so damn convienent and tasty, but they disgust me on a moral level, so if I have the time I skip them. Unfortunately, there isn’t much healthy fast food. If you want to eat well you typically have to slow down and wait or prepare it yourself.

DaLovin’ Dj

Oh yes, everything is someone else’s fault. Obviously the conscious choices made by the kids involved or their parents as to where to eat couldn’t possibly be involved.

And that’s all I’m going to say outside of GD or the Pit.

I haven’t seen any of the ads or reviews, but just this sentence alone is enough to turn me off the movie.

Kick Mike Meyers in the nads if you must, but not the CitH.

Given that this movie has had “gigantic disaster” written all over it since people noticed its garish light approaching through the fog several months ago, I’d lay even money that the majority of these rhyming critics were polishing up their couplets days or weeks before even seeing the movie.

Just look at the wonderful things I can do!
I can read a review of another review,
which I still haven’t read, of “The Cat in the Hat,”
which I still haven’t seen. It’s confusing. That’s that.

Reminds me of Roger Ebert’s review of Wet Hot American Summer, which he wrote as a take off on Allan Sherman’s “Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah.”

The nutshot in the ads immediately made me loathe this movie. I haven’t seen it, nor will I. There is no way in hell the Cat in the Hat should get hit in the crotch.

(Good Lord, can’t anyone make a movie these days without a nutshot??)

Whatever it takes to make six-year-olds watch.

Jackelope, actually that review is pretty funny.

He took a song that it is pretty obscure and fashioned a decent review out of it.

The mere fact that he took the time and effort to do it for a seriously crappy piece of film speaks volumes about his work ethic.

Damn, I haven’t heard that song since I thew away my Looney Tunes album.

“When I was in France with the Army.
One day I looked into my kit,
I thought I’d might find me a sandwich
But the darn thing was loaded with shhhhhaving cream,
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you’ll always be clean!”

Crotch shots rock!
(and I’m over 30).

How about the good ole Long Belch shot.

Is there on of those in the Cat? If there is, I’m there.

The one in the Elf seemed amusing from the ads. But that’s because it was Will Ferrell. He could make getting hit in the berries funny…wait a minute…

The best belch shot was done by Jay in his cameo in the Simpsons. I crack up just thinking about it…

Somehow this is all comforting. I will be seeing the work in question tomorrow. I will be escorting an extremely active and opinionated three year old. It would be worse if the movie were actually good, since I’m not going to have a lot of concentration to spare for the screen.

You’re joking about a live action movie being made of The Lorax, right? I never much liked The Cat in the Hat-- the cat was a reckless idiot and Thing 1 and Thing 2 were just creepy-- so I’ll simply cover my eyes until this movie goes away. But if they crapify The Lorax, well that’s just evil.

I hope they don’t “crapify” The Lorax.

There are only two Seuss projects that should even be considered for movie projects:

Seussical the Musical – much better than you might expect and a respectful, fun take on some of Seuss’ material (I’ve always liked the Horton books).

A grand remake of “The 5000 fingers of Dr. T” could be fun if done well. (though I admit there is little likelihood of that happening)

Did Geisel disown T5kFODT? You almost never hear it mentioned.

Oh, those silly reviewers–
Fixing cats on skewers.
But I think what’s worse–
If I may be terse–
Are all those sillier viewers.

I thought InquisitiveIdiot’s joke was that The Lorax was an anti-consumerism story, and so it’s message would violently oppose the now mandatory mechandising tsunamis that would accompany it.