Taking the Christ out of Christianity for 2000 years.
“Don’t make me turn the car around!”
Can God create a pile of bullshit so large even He gets buried?
If I were told that I am not really an ‘Official Catholic’ because of someone else screwing up, I would immediately ask for all the money back I’ve given to the church. Donations and tithes and whatever else should be null and void if the congregant is not official.
That would be an ecumenical matter.
More like, “See what you made me do!” the cry of abusers everywhere.
People have preformed c-sections and appendectomies on themselves in emergency situations, so surely you can baptize yourself if you’ve got access to a cup of water.
Of course, none of these were in the U.S. If they were, it would turn out that you were not in your own network, and you’d get billed $37,000.
Depends, is the bear Catholic?
A drunken man stumbles upon a baptism in the River Jordan
The priest is standing there, dunking people’s heads underwater, and when they emerged he would ask if they’d found Jesus. The drunk wanders down to the river to join in, and when it gets to his turn, the priest dunks his head under the water.
When he gets back up, he asks the man if he had found Jesus, to which he replied no, so the priest dunks him underwater again, this time a little longer. and again.
He pops back up, and after the priest asked if he’d found Jesus, he said no, a second time.
The priest then dunks him under once more, only this time he kept the man underwater for a while. When he came back up one final time the priest asked if he’d finally found Jesus.
The man asked, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”
So the Catholic Church has recalled thousands of Christians due to an error in their manufacture?
More like in dealer prep. I’m sure the manufacturers delivered the correct product. It’s just that the final prep was botched. Like forgetting the undercoating or not making sure the airbags were correctly installed.
The problem now is that when the product is totaled, the bad prep keeps there from being any salvage or recycling value.
Which tracks pretty much 100% with what I learned in one of the theology classes in high school (“Catholic Doctrine & Dogma”, in fact).
The point as I understand it, is that whoever’s doing the baptism is administering a sacrament, which is a ritual/ceremony that imparts some sort of divine grace, and by saying “We”, the implication is that it’s ALL the people doing the baptism, not the person who’s actually doing it, instead of standing around watching.
I do want to point out that I’ve seen baptisms in four different denominations (Catholic, Baptist, Methodist, Episcopalian), and ALL of them use the “I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit” formula. This priest in Arizona was doing something janky, and should have known better.
Regardless, this is shitty “magical words” thinking that reduces religion to some stupid ritual instead of some putatively rational framework. Built on fantasy, but still internally at least trying to appear rational.
This is just Ouija board crap.
Whatever happened to:
He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
– 2 Corinthians 3:6
As I said earlier.
My 90 year old aunt who will go to her grave believing the entire child sex abuse scandal is a fabrication of the Jewish Controlled Media is pissed off about this issue. At least she says the Church is shooting itself in the foot, that God cannot be as stupid as they are making Him out to be and giving their “enemies” (hint: 
) ammunition.
Wait, does that mean it was Jewish Media Moguls abusing those altar boys?
No. It’s all fake news to her. It was maybe one or two priests, and a handful of victims. Everything beyond that is fabrication.
Ah, but if you rearrange the letters of cats, you get scat.
All the cool cats can scat. There’s a reason the bible of scatting is The New Cab Calloway’s Cat-ologue: A Hepster’s Dictionary. It’s not a dog-ologue.