Including the “whoosh” level.
“Marky de Sade”? C’mon, wake up!
The devil invented butt sex. One more thing we have to thank him for.
No, the Devil wants Evelyn to hump the mattress.
I caught that, but given the reminiscences of Catholic school others have posted, take a Sr. Mark and it seemed like only a slight exaggeration.
You’ve got your commandments confused. You’re mixing up the sixth commandment with the tenth.
I had grade school Catholic sex ed in the late 70s. The filmstrip mentioned masturbation, saying it wasn’t sinful, just childish. The techer stopped the film and pointed out that it in fact sinful, in addition to being childish, and that the school had borrowed the filmstrip from some Protestants. In high school, I was taught that boys mastubating spilled seed, which was a sin, but the whole topic of female masturbation was left ambiguous. The Jesuits had a tendency to read every edict from the church in the narrowest possible way.
You scanned too fast, or something. freckafree never said that was the Tenth commandment – only talked about the Ten Commandments.
In my 1960s Cathoklic upbringing they certainlyu never mentioned masturbation. All sex talk was, as freckafree notes, by circumlocution. We were told that the Feast of the Circumcision celebrated Christ’s “being offered up to God”. Nary a word about lopping off foreskins. Confused me mightily as a kid.
Yeah, I don’t really think the church has an official stace on it or has even been asked to take a stance on it.
It’s not like the Catholic church has a big database of every topic that it checks off as “for” or “against”. (Hmmm, hot fudge sundaes. Is the church for or against?)
Doesn’t matter. “Thou shalt not commit adultery” is a commandment in its own right, and “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s <stuff, including his wife>” is another. freckafree conflated the two.
We had an old religion textbook in our room. It’s Ten Commandments ended with “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s ox and ass,” and “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.” Which only raises the question “what if you covet your neighbor’s wife’s…” Turns out in Catholic School, you’re not allowed to finish that question.
I shamefacedly admitted to that very vice in a discussion about gay marriage. Didn’t stop me being yelled at for a homophobe though. Ah well.
So if a guy goes to confession and tells the priest that he fucked a monkey, does the priest have to call the Vatican to figure out how many "Hail Mary"s the guy’s suppposed to say?
It’s looking like that the church doesn’t necessarily have a formal stance on the matter, hmmm. For some reason I now can’t shake this image of a Catholic school girl in her skirt wearing a T-shirt that says, “Eat me, I’m Catholic!”
If you’re still talking masturbation here, it’s spelled out in the Catechism as linked by thelurkinghorror.
And they’d be for hot fudge sundaes, but only in moderation. 
No, silly!
It would be a simple thing for a girl to play with herself without being observed if she were lying face down under the covers. Lying on her back with her hands on top of the covers makes it more difficult to play with herself without being observed.
Let’s be direct, shall we? If she’s laying on her face, she probably doesn’t even need her hands. As **Malacandra **implies.
[QUOTE=Anaamika]
It’s because he refused to lie with his brother’s wife after he was dead, as was the law.
Waitaminnit – How could he refuse to lie with his brother’s wife AFTER he was dead? And what would be the point?
While there may be some confusion going on, it is not a matter of confusing the tenth and sixth commandments. There are three general systems for numbering the Commandments (since they are not actually numbered in Exodus or Deuteronomy).
The different systems (and who uses them) are, basically:
**Modern Orthodox Churches
Reformed Protestant Churches
- Philo of Alexandria, Jewish philosopher (10 BCE - 50 CE)
- (Flavius) Josephus, Jewish historian (fl. 1st Century CE)
- Greek Fathers of the Christian Church**
- Prohibit false gods
- Prohibit images
- Prohibit vain use of Divine name
- Honor Sabbath
- Honor parents
- Prohibit murder
- Prohibit adultery
- Prohibit theft
- Prohibit bearing false witness
10. Prohibit covetousness
**Modern Catholic Church
Evangelical/Lutheran Protestant Churches
- Clement of Alexandria, Christian theologian (ca 150 – 215?)
- Origen, Christian theologian (ca. 185 - 254)
- Augustine of Hippo, Christian theologian (354 - 430)**
- Prohibit false gods and images
- Prohibit vain use of Divine name
- Honor Sabbath
- Honor Sabbath
- Honor parents
- Prohibit murder
- Prohibit adultery
- Prohibit theft
- Prohibit bearing false witness
09. Prohibit coveting neighbor’s wife - Prohibit coveting neighbor’s goods
Modern Judaism
- “I am the Lord your God, who brought
you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.” - Prohibit false or foreign gods and images
- Prohibit vain use of Divine name
- Honor Sabbath
- Honor parents
- Prohibit murder
- Prohibit adultery
- Prohibit theft
- Prohibit bearing false witness
10. Prohibit covetousness
How is that a commandment? It’s a declarative statement.
I remember as a child hearing the bowdlerized version of the anti-adultery commandment, to be “pure,” but the meaning was left in total vagueness, never explained in concrete terms. I never had the foggiest idea what it was supposed to mean.
After the brother was dead.
So are you going to tell God that His grammar’s wrong? I’m not cause He seems to have a rather nasty habit of smacking down people who disagree with Him (then again, He seems to do that to people who agree with Him as well, after all, He had His own son nailed to a tree to teach us a lesson).
I’ve never heard the bowdlerlzed version, ever, until today. I do remember having a lesson in Sunday School that was centered on circumcision and the teacher refused to tell us what circumcision was. I never understood the point of teaching a lesson about something you couldn’t talk about. I recently taught a lesson that included the commandment against adultery and I defined it for 4th through 6th grade students as “sex with someone other than your husband or wife.” No complaints from the parents, so I guess it was ok.