Caution: Cleaning lady bites when provoked

The BBQ Pit
1

My god! Do people hire housekeepers on purpose, just so they can have someone to look down on?

Well, I’m not being entirely fair. It was the mother who hired me. She’s in her 70s, the son’s in his 50s. They live together, as they are both somewhat disabled. And I understand that a guy in that situation wants to make sure his mom isn’t being, yannow, taken advantage of in some way.

BUT: I came to them on the recommendation of a friend his mom has known for, like, forty years. I’ve been working for THAT guy for at least five years, and I worked for a mutual friend of all theirs for five years before THAT.

Today was the fourth or fifth time I have cleaned these particular peoples’ house. They have two dogs who sleep in crates. The mother asked me to clean between and behind the dog crates today, and let me tell you, it was nasty. One of the dogs had had some nasty accidents all over the back of the cage and the wall and the floor. Being disabled, the lady was neither aware of it nor able to clean it, so it was like a-couple-year-old crap. I was in there with a mop and very serious cleaning agents for a long time, and it was horrible. Meanwhile, the lady is one of these people who considers those swiffer-type mops to be actual worthwhile tools (they’re not) and the only other thing she has is this thousand-year-old rag mop. Which is not at all absorbent anymore, so I end up picking up all this nasty, nasty cleaning water mess gunk with paper towels, and then the last bit with one of my clean rag-towels that I bring to every job because no one ever has rags. So now I have this mucky gross towel that I have to take home, but I don’t want it loose in my bag going home because, yuk! I put it in a clear plastic bag like you get from the grocery store, knot the bag, and put it next to my stuff to take with me.

So she pays me, I pick up my stuff to go home, and dude asks me suspiciously, “What is that you’re taking there?”

Give me a break! Jeez, yeah, I’m stealing your family jewels in a clear plastic bag. It only looks like a wet nasty towel.

These guys seemed a wee tad pathetic when my friend introduced me; I could see they really needed someone to help them, and because he didn’t tell me they wanted me to work for them when he introduced me, I felt kind of put on the spot, and I named the same fee that I charge him off the top of my head. Which is what I started charging him five years ago and haven’t raised because we’ve become good friends. And I don’t even really mind that the money is barely worth my going all the way out there. (especially not worth it after she told me oh no, I only need you once every TWO weeks.)

But there is nothing to put me off wanting to do anything at all for somebody, like a buncha class attitude.

2

My sympathies.

3

Aw, that’s nice. Wasn’t expecting that. Thanks.

4

On it’s surface, it sounds like such a small thing to get worked up about.
But I totally get your rage. Fuck that guy!

5

Well, Grrr!, you are right – in the grand scheme of things, it’s only words, and “pride” is imaginary. Dignity is real; but no one can take your dignity away from you, not really. I know this, and I’m not actually like hopping mad or anything. Plus when you clean houses, this kind of thing is, sadly, not uncommon.

Sure feels better knowing I can come here and rant, though!

6

I cleaned houses for a while and what I liked about it was getting to work at my own pace with no one around to bother me. It was nice after higher stress jobs working with the public and surprisingly good money, too.

However, that was all ruined whenever any home owners were there. You know, I meant to sell my services for pay but with us being equals. I did not sign on so they could order me about like I was their servant girl. Some of them liked to give me their old garage sale type items too, which I did not ask for. I’m surprised they didn’t give me their expired canned goods or pat my head and give me a good old extra dime or two or maybe a dog treat.

I think that to assuage the woman’s worries that you might steal fromher, you should do the opposite and always bring something extra to leave there. Something “special.” Heh.

7

“It’s something valuable I’m stealing from you. I really shouldn’t. Here, you have it. You can wipe your face on it.”

8

I’ve heard of the “no one can be around while I’m working rule”. A friend who usually works from home has to spend one afternoon a month “out on the town” because a cleaning crew is scouring her house.

Now I’m jealous. It’s probably too late to negotiate this at my job, but I’m tempted to try.
“Every Tuesday and Thursday morning will be Stay Away Day. Todd from Payroll will have to detour down the back stairs to get to his beloved vending machine, Wendy will avoid asking if I have any new pictures of my cats*, and the boss will stay in his office with the door closed until I leave for lunch.”
*I have ZERO cats, Wendy. WHY did this non-fact get stuck in your brain TWO years ago?
Sigh, I need a Stay Away Day…

9

I see your point, it’s annoying. That said, some cleaners did steal a bunch of electronics from my family home some years back, so I can see how people would be paranoid.

10

Misread the title.

Cleaning lady bits when provoked

My wife cleans her lady bits much more often then only when she’s provoked.

11

Happily I only had that happen once in my 5+ years cleaning houses on my own; I was gifted used socks as a Xmas present. For the most part people fed me, especially after Passover when no one wanted their Kosher for Passover pantry items.

OP, when it became clear a task would take me more than a few extra minutes (refrigerator cleaning, for a frequent example), I’d offer to either come back and do it as a separate appointment or offer to charge them a quarter hour rate (at the time I charged approx $20/hour).
It looks as though this client will take you more time and aggravation than you initially realized before you ever saw their house or had driven there in the first place and now that you’ve worked it you see it isn’t a good fit for you; I think if you explain that when asking for more money they’ll (fingers crossed) cut you loose.
The majority of my clients were from word of mouth, sometimes within families; I was blessed that no matter the issue I had w/ one I didn’t hear about it from another but one time. I don’t know if it was fear that I’d gossip about the state of their home or fear of losing my services, but there were no questions when I’d drop a connected client.

12

I totally get your being offended by them even entertaining the thought, especially with what you’d just been through on their behalf. I’ll just say this though, if someone had that thought about me, I would MUCH rather they asked me immediately, than just quietly stuff it and then wonder about it forever.

Having something you can’t put your finger on hanging over a relationship of any sort is just so crazy-making. And when people let it fester until it’s far too late to prove/disprove anything it’s usually unrecoverable. Obviously we can’t hear his tone or feel the vibe that was in the room, but I think asking me outright would be more respectful than any other choice, once the thought had occurred.

13

OK, this is the part I don’t get.

Why do you have to take the gross towel home? Why would you want to?

Why didn’t you just chuck it in their trash, once you’d tied it up in the plastic bag?

And I second Nawth Chucka, with some modifications: if you’re asked to do a cleaning project that turns out to be a bit above and beyond the usual run of the mill stuff, tell them as soon as you realize this that it’s too big a deal to do as part of a regular cleaning, and tell them how much you would charge extra for it. (This is where I diverge from NC: just set a rate, based not just on the time it would take, but how you feel about having to do it. An hour of cleaning up dog poop is definitely worth charging more for than an hour of cleaning the fridge.)

14

I would have chucked the messy towel in the outside trash after telling them, ‘This towel is too poopy to be saved and I’m sure you don’t want it in your kitchen trash.’

But this sounds to have been an awkward situation all around; the mom would surely have been embarrassed to know the full extent of the mess, and know that mess had been seen and was being cleaned up by a relative stranger. So the OP chose the more diplomatic (and faster, TBH) route of clean it up fast and get out.

I’ve cleaned up puke and urine and feces (Playtex rubber gloves and face mask make me fearless) and if the homeowners witnessed either the mess or any revulsion I wasn’t able to hide they were, to a man, mortified.

The most embarrassed client, though, was the man I had to tell I wouldn’t come when his boomeranged son was there b/c I didn’t want to be asked, again, to clean naked. I didn’t even ask for a raise, but I got one.