It’s frustrating when I research “why do I feel so sleepy after sex?” and all the search results focus on why men feel sleepy after sex. I am a woman, and I get sleepy right after sex. I know that some of my other female friends tend to like going to sleep right after sex, which I don’t find unusual, but apparently the experts at The Straight Dope do. I know that this is a forum to “fight ignorance,” but why aren’t women addressed in this article? Cecil even says that “It’s just that whereas women see this tranquil state as a chance to cuddle and talk, guys tend to look at it as a cure for insomnia–sometimes literally.” Although Cecil referred to the research by Alfred Kinsey prior to this statement, this observation about women wanting to “cuddle and talk” was not supported, just an assumption stemming from Cecil’s personal opinion. I’m a little upset that an expert on a website like this would assume that women like cuddling after sex, and that men do not! It is a fact that women release oxytocin after orgasm, which is a chemical that makes women feel relaxed and **sleepy. ** It is not a matter of gender when it comes to who likes to sleep and who likes to cuddle, because both men and women release hormones after orgasm that make them tired.
So, I must ask, why can’t men and women be addressed similarly?
Welcome to the Straight Dope Message Boards, J. Gal, we’re glad to have you with us.
When you start a thread, it’s helpful to other readers if you provide a link to the column you’re talking about. Saves search time, and keeps us on the same page, mostly. In this case, I assume, it’s: Why do men feel sleepy after sex? - The Straight Dope
No biggie, you’ll know for next time, and, as I say, welcome!
Now, to your specific comments: the question posed was specifically, “why do men feel sleepy after orgasm?” Cecil doesn’t make up his own questions, that’s what Chuck R asked and that’s what Cecil answered.
However, he did include women:
His conclusion was the research was poorly designed, and so doesn’t really give any information. However, please note that there were both males and females in the study. Please note that Cecil expanded the question to “men (or anybody)” and I assume “anybody” means women. So, frankly, I think your objections are not well-founded.
In terms of the comment about cuddling, Cecil is who he is. He often uses generalization, sarcasm, and other tricks to make his column more interesting than a cut-and-dried, run-of-the-mill scientific paper. Note “by ze French,” for instance. It’s why we love him, he both educates and entertains.
Meanwhile, that column is over 15 years old, and I wonder if there is more current research. So, I’m going to use your post to prod Cecil and see if he’ll do an update.
I suspect that the answer to the question whether women prefer “chat and cuddle” to “going to sleep” after sex depends largely on whether they have reached orgasm or not. That being the case I imagine that statistically a meaningful majority would want to “chat and cuddle”…
Pticon
I dunno. If I had an orgasm, I probably want to sleep. If I didn’t have an orgasm, I’m not interested in chatting and cuddling. Either way, cab fare’s on the dresser, kid.
^ Maybe adults would be a better choice if you wanted to reach orgasm? 